Page 30 of Reckless
Then I lost the baby.
Then I lost myself.
I’ve only admitted it once out loud—to my little sister’s best friend Willa. I confessed to her that broken as my miscarriage left me, there is a shameful part of me that’s relieved I’m not tied to Rob Valentine for the rest of my life.
I get to move on from him with no strings attached. A blessing and a curse. A guilt that eats me alive. One I have to learn to live with, because Iamrelieved to be free of him.
But this is different. The timing is different.
Theo is different.
I lift the phone and dial his number, taking a steadying breath as it rings.
But it keeps ringing and then goes to voicemail. His deep baritone telling me to leave a message sends a shiver down my spine. The things he said to me that night.
Filthy fucking girl.Just begging for—
“Hi, Theo. This is Winter. From...well, from the hotel. Or the ranch? From the coaster contract. I tracked your number down and was hoping we could chat, even though I swore I wouldn’t ever contact you again. Can you call me back when you have a moment? Thanks. Bye.”
I haven’t told him yet, but I already feel relieved. I’ll face this head on. It’s going to be fine.
My hand falls across my still flat stomach and I sigh.
I’m going to be happy.
“Hi, Theo. It’s Winter again. I haven’t heard from you and it’s been a few days. At the risk of sounding totally nuts, I checked the WBRF website and know that you’re out on the tour again. I get that you’re busy, but I really need to talk to you. I have something really important to tell you.
“Theo. Hi. I hope you’re okay. Based on the scores I can see listed online, it would seem you’re doing just fine. I’m not trying to be some clingy buckle bunny or whatever the fuck you call it. I just need to share some information with you, and I would like to tell you directly.”
* * *
Winter:Hi, it’s Winter. Is this Theo Silva? Are you getting my voicemails? I’ve left three now.
Winter:Are you aware that you have read receipts on? I know you’ve seen my text.
Theo:Yes. I’ve gotten your voicemails. I’m not interested in talking.
Winter:Listen, I’m trying not to be a full-on bitch to you right now. But can you please call me? I need to tell you something.
Theo:Then tell me.
Winter:Via text?
Theo:Yup.
Winter:Fine. That night in the hotel, a condom must have broken. I’m pregnant. The baby is yours. Thought that might interest you.
Theo:Thanks for letting me know.
Winter
Eighteen months later…
Winter:Is she okay?
Harvey:Yes, my world is her jungle gym. She’s going up and down the stairs. Getting pretty fast on the way down now. She even tried to climb the banister. Doesn’t stop moving much.
Winter:Harvey. Please don’t say things like that.
