Page 55 of Reckless
Theo glances up at me but does a double take.
“What?”
“You just...” His lips roll together. “You look beauti—different.”
I almost smirk.Beautidifferent.
“Well, I put on some makeup. How is she?”
He stares back down at her. “Perfect.”
I feel weird hovering, so I sit on the coffee table next to them and hold my phone in front of Theo to show him the photo. “If you give me your number, I’ll send it to you.”
His thumb swipes over Vivi’s back in a soothing arc. “I’d like that. I feel...”
I stare down at my phone. “I know. You must hate me. And that’s okay. I think deep down I don’t blame you. Maybe I should have gone crazy and told everyone. Been more spiteful, ya know? I tried giving less fucks and it backfired kind of spectacularly.”
“Winter, I do not hate you.” His voice is soft but sure, but I still can’t bring myself to look at him. “You did plenty. You did more than enough.”
“You have to say that because I’m the mother of your child.”
“I—”
I hold a hand up. “I know you wouldn’t have signed up for fatherhood. But I...reallywanted this. Not how it came about, maybe. I mean, how cliché is a broken condom? But a baby? Theo,” my voice cracks, “I really wanted a baby. I have no regrets.”
“What makes you think I don’t want this?”
I let my eyes trail over the beautiful man on my couch, with our baby girl laid over his heart. “Not at this point in your life. And not with me. You’ll never convince me otherwise.”
His features harden, a steely glint flashing in his eyes. “What makes you think I wouldn’t want this with you?”
I scoff, wiping away a stray tear again.
Fuck my life and all this crying.
“Sorry, I never cry.”
A smile touches his lips. “Yes, I can see that.”
“Shut up.” I swipe again, turning away to stare out the front window.
“I feel like I’ve missed a lot of firsts, Winter. That’s what I was going to say. I feel like an interloper, but I don’t want to. I wish I’d been there to see her grow. To see you grow. To be at the birth.”
I sniff. “Willa took a very graphic video. I can show you sometime.”
“I would love that.”
“It’s not sexy.” I side-eye him and he scrunches his brow. “It will ruin any splendid memories of my vagina you might have.”
“Nah. That’s impossible. Those memories are why my right forearm is bigger than my left.”
I roll my eyes and bite back my laugh. “You’re impossible to deter.”
He grins. “Yes.”
“I’m happy to have you around, Theo. I would never, ever keep you from her. After what I grew up in, I just want her to be surrounded by so much love. You know?”
“Of course. We’re on the same page.” His voice, his words—they’re like a firm hug. They instantly make me feel better.
