Page 67 of Reckless
She focuses on me now. “Well, that’s true. I think you barked at me once.”
My lips twitch, but I just shake my head. “Continue.”
“I think I figured out at a young age that if I mirrored the way Marina treated Summer—and my dad—she sort of...left them alone? Like if she felt like I was on herteam, she would care less about what they did because she could turn all her attention to me. On priming me to be the perfect mini-me surgeon version of her. I leveled the playing field for her. In taking me away from them, she felt like she won and, in turn, didn’t terrorize my little sister.”
“Have you told Summer this?”
Winter’s body heaves under a weighty sigh. “No. We just started fresh. Hashing this out will only hurt her. And I don’t want to hurt her more than I already have.”
“You should tell her.”
“Why?”
“It would make you feel better.”
“And her worse. She’ll feel like she needs to fix me. That’s just how she is.”
“You don’t need fixing, Winter.” I swallow the ache in my throat. That seems like too much for a child to process, let alone bear. “But what about you?”
She waves me off. “I’ll survive.”
“And what about the child you once were?”
Her tongue darts across her lips, covering for whatever anxiety she feels right now. “I was fine. They fed me, watered me, and clothed me in designer everything and I did any extra-curricular activity I wanted.” She shrugs. “I wanted for nothing.”
“But what about love?”
She twists to look over her shoulder at Vivi, her voice taking on a thicker quality when she says, “What about it?”
“Did you have it?”
I watch her throat work as her attention stays fixed on our sleeping daughter. “No. I don’t think I ever had it until her.”
Without thinking, I press the heel of my hand to my chest, willing the ache away. I wish my mom were here. She’d know what to do or say.
“It’s funny,” Winter continues, as though she’s in a trance. “I took an oath as a doctor. It’s my job to save people’s lives. And somehow, that doesn’t feel heavy or oppressive. It’s more of a challenge I can rise to. But with her? God. It’s consuming. Sometimes, I’m so consumed with loving her I can’t even sleep. I’d use an innocent stranger as a shield for her if there was gunfire. I’d shove others into the flames to get her out of a burning building. I’d swim through boiling water for her. I wouldn’t even blink, Theo.”
“So, you love her? That’s normal. I mean, your descriptions are a bit...dark. But I follow,” I say, as I pull into her driveway.
“Is it?” She turns her crystal blue eyes on me. They twinkle in the dark cab of the truck, reflecting every speck of light around us. “I’ve never loved anyone like this before. And no one has loved me like Vivi does. It feels so foreign.”
Jesus Christ. This woman.
I itch to touch her, to soothe her. So I reach out and cup her head, combing my fingers through her hair like I did in the elevator. I lean across the console and she holds my gaze. “Yeah, Winter.” Her irises drop to my lips. “That’s normal. And you shouldn’t settle for anything less.”
Her breath fans across my cheek when she sighs. I could so easily turn my fingers into a fist in her hair and kiss her. Give her a taste of not settling. But she pulls away before I can, one hand coming up to give my forearm a platonic squeeze.
I can’t tell if this is a one-sided attraction sometimes. Can’t tell if I spend every day in the shower jerking off while thinking about a woman who doesn’t think of me at all. Winter is almost impossible to get a steady read on.
And tonight is no different.
She gives me a flat smile before we part ways, without another word exchanged between us. I watch her carry Vivi’s bucket seat up into the dark house before I pull out and drive to the one right next door.
When I go inside, it feels like I’m entering the wrong house.
19
Theo
