Page 73 of Reckless
Which makes me think of Theo. Again.
Last night took me through a whole range of emotions. From an unexpected kindred feeling at dinner all the way through to desperation.
Because the things I dream about doing to you are horribly unprofessional.
With that one sentence, he blasted through every wall I’ve worked at assembling. And when he pulled away? Stared down at my body and then stopped?
I’d been vulnerable for a beat, and he gutted me without even trying. As if he didn’t like what he saw. Hence, the nightmare wife.
I hate being this self-conscious. But the truth of the matter is that my body has changed since Vivi. Yeah, I grew a human. It’s amazing.Blah, blah, blah.
But it’s hard to avoid the thought that I wasted my best years on Rob Valentine. I worked out. I ran. Made sure you could bounce a dime off my ass. I spent hours at the salon. All so I could hold up the facade of us being a storybook couple everyone would regard with envy.
I looked my best and felt my worst.
I can’t blame Theo for taking one long look at me and backing away slowly. Maybe it wasn’t the changes in my body, but the truth of who Iam. A little petty. A little bitter. A lot closed off.
Where’s the appeal?
I snort and roll over to sit up. Theo is here for his daughter, which is all I’ve wanted for her from the beginning. So I need to gather my wits about me and put on a happy face.
Last night, when she cried, I listened to the deep rumble of his voice as he talked to her. Heard the floor creaking as he rocked her.
I laid awake, thinking I should march out there and take her back. Not saddle him with her when she’s tired and teething, probably wanting me. But my body failed me. I was so tired I couldn’t move.
And my pride wouldn’t let me face him after he kissed me and apologizedlike it was a mistake. So, I drifted off to the sounds of her soft cries and Theo’s patient words.
The little lump between my feet moves toward the top of the covers, and those buggy eyes pop out. He shakes the sheet off, ears flapping as he does. He sits and stares at me.
“Don’t pee in my bed.”
He just blinks.
“Am I supposed to take you out?”
Another blink.
“I went to med school, but they didn’t teach me how to speak dog.”
Blank look.
“Are you hungry?”
Peter stands up, his tail waving like windshield wipers on a rainy day as his enormous eyes go even wider.
“I thought you were deaf,” I say as I rub my eyes and push to stand.
I pull my robe on, and when I turn around, he’s still standing there at the edge of my bed looking expectant.
My gaze drops to the floor before lifting back to the small beige dog. “I guess that looks like a real death drop to you, huh?”
With a couple of steps back, I scoop him up and head into the hallway while muttering, “I can’t believe I’m talking to a fucking dog.”
After setting Peter on the back step so he can do his business, I head into the house, fully expecting to find Theo crashed out on the couch after his first night of solo dad-ing. The man must have a breaking point. Him being this natural at parenting just cannot stand.
But he isn’t on the couch or on the chair. My heart rate spikes instantly, my brain spiraling into panic. I barely know the man and I left my baby with him? We haven’t talked about custody. What if he’s just...
My hand flattens on my chest as I force myself to breathe. Then my eyes catch on his shoes at the front door, and my body relaxes a smidgeon.
