Page 2 of Of Songs and Silence

My sisters are gone, which means this monster is the closest thing I have to an ally in this place. My only source of information.

The only break to the endless solitude that drives me closer to madness each day.

Looking at his perfect features, the cruelty that lurks behind his dark eyes, I wonder if that’s better.

Or if it would be better to drown myself in the turbulent sea of my own mind than let Damian offer me a reprieve from it.

CHAPTERONE

ZAINA

Istand at the bow of the ship, watching the horizon, both waiting for and dreading the moment when the familiar landscape of Isle Delphine comes into view. Logically, I know we are still weeks from that.

But I’m dreading it all the same.

Images flash through my mind of the last time we were on these waters. Damian’s bruising grip. Madame’s fury. The water closing over my head just before Natia saved us. My only regret is that we hadn’t been able to leave sooner. And that Melodi has been abandoned to whatever mercy ourmotherhas left.

I can only hope that she isn’t suffering for our disobedience—that we have time to get to her before both Madame and Damian lose what’s left of their sanity. Neither of them have ever hurt Mel before, at least not in the creative ways we were punished. Still, that doesn’t necessarily mean that they won’t now.

Water splashes to my left, and I follow the movement as subtly as I can. The Mayima have been following us for the past few days, their ethereal eyes narrowed in suspicion. They never seemed to care about the ships on this route before, but now they are on high alert.

Flashes of color speed past the ship, like bursts of lightning just beneath the surface of the water. I can’t help but scan each body, each set of eyes, cautiously looking for Natia, who has been noticeably absent since she deposited us on the docks in Bondé.

I’m not stupid enough to inquire about her from these sirens, though. Not when she made it clear that it was dangerous for her to help us.

“It’s rare to see you without your giant old man shadow,” Aika says as she sidles up next to me, her voice yanking me from my thoughts.

Either she’s getting better, or I’m slipping. I didn’t even sense her coming this time.

She doesn’t comment on my trembling hands or the way I have to force myself to stand so close to the edge, and in turn, I don’t comment on Remy’s absence. I’m glad he isn’t with her. His presence is just another thing that sends guilt churning in my stomach. Every time he looks at me, I wonder if we’re both remembering the way I let his mother die.

Not that I could have stopped Madame, but I made an active choice not to step in. To risk Queen Katriane rather than Remy or Einar. There were no good choices that day, but practicality matters little when you’re the one who loses.

“He’s taking his tonic,” I finally answer my sister.

It’s the only time Einar has been willing to leave my side since everything happened—when it’s time for him to quell his seasickness once again.

“But it’s so much more fun to watch him hurl over the side of the deck every five to eight minutes,” Aika quips, resting her arms against the railing of the ship.

I roll my eyes at her, thinking of my mountain of a husband, a man whose only weaknesses are me and, apparently, the sea. But there is no room for weakness where we’re headed—into the belly of the beast, back to where it all began.

“We should have found a way to leave them.” The words are barely audible over the crashing waves against the hull of the ship, but Aika’s sigh tells me she hears them anyway.

“So we wouldn’t have to listen to your not-so-seafaring husband expelling the contents of his stomach with alarming regularity?” The corner of her lips tug upward. “Because if so, I agree entirely.”

I don’t bother to acknowledge her jest this time. My thoughts are far too morose for teasing. “Because whatever mercy Madame may or may not have for us will not extend to them.”

I know she’s thought about it too. About what we’re risking and whether or not any of us will survive this. She sighs again, and I feel the full weight of her onyx gaze.

“It’s not up to you to decide who has a right to be here, Zai.”

I bristle, but she continues before I can respond.

“Besides, if we had left them, they would have just come after us anyway, and then they would have been even more of a target.”

I glance over at her, weighing her troubled expression against her lighthearted words.

“I’ll be sure to comfort myself with that when she tortures them in front of us.”

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