Page 66 of Of Songs and Silence

I nod.

“It didn’t occur to me that I needed to.” He has wiped every trace of emotion from both his face and his voice, not even allowing them to leak out through our bond. Our soulbond.

My teeth grind together. Obviously, it didn’t occur to him that he needed to ask me, or even inform me. Doesn’t he see that that’s the problem?

Of course, I want to be with him, but I didn’t even have all of the information to make a decision about the rest of our lives, didn’t even know it was an option. All my life, I have been silenced, and my choices have been made for me.

Now, this.

It’s not that I would have said no. I’m not even sure Icouldhave said no. But to hear him so dismissively reference the rest of my life like it’s a foregone conclusion he came to because he has had such unfettered access to my soul’s obsession with his…

I need time to process it all without him overhearing each of my thoughts.

I force myself not to look at his perfect features or his swollen lips or the hair I just had my hands clenched in. Force myself not to think about the comfort I could find in his arms, or the warmth of his body on mine. Force myself not to cave.

“You should go back to your room now,” I say evenly, though tears stab at the back of my eyes.

“Kala—” he starts to protest, but I cut him off.

“I need space, Ari. Can you just…give me that? Please?” My voice breaks on the echo of the word that started this all.

A muscle ticks in his strong jaw and his fists clench at his sides. Finally he dips his head in one, simple nod, before returning to his rooms.

CHAPTERFORTY

ARIIHAU

It’s my most restless night since the day Kane first dragged her into the water. All night, I’m plagued with a mixture of hurt and remorse. It doesn’t help that she’s doing the one thing I’ve been begging her to do since we met—keeping her walls in place.

She’s more determined than ever to lock me out, and I can’t feel a single thought through the bond.

Does she honestly feel like the soulmate bond is a cage?

And seas, can I even blame her?

Time and time again, I have watched people suffer for their soulmate bonds. Growing up in the palace has given me an up close view I could have just as soon lived without.

Didn’t it feel like a curse to me, at first, also? When all I had wanted was to eradicate this royal line, to free my people, only to discover that she was the one person I could never bring myself to hurt.

Even if all of Mayim paid the price.

Still, I have only ever seen one person deny the bond, and that was before it was sealed. It’s unheard of for someone to walk away after. Though the king’s children and nieces and nephews suffered unspeakable horrors for their bonds, especially those who were unfortunate enough to bond with someone outside the nobility, they still chose to suffer that fate rather than be separated from their mate.

I would never wish that for Kala, but when he is no longer around to torment us…

No.

It never occurred to me that she wouldn’t want to be with me when we were able to, free of her grandfather’s tyranny. But it’s sure as seas occurring to me now, twisting my insides and eating me alive.

I swim laps around my room until dawn. Every other hour, Napo tried to drag me to bed, but I couldn’t sit still enough to rest. He then took to lobbing tiny shells in my direction to try to make me stop.

That didn’t work either.

By the time I answer Kane’s knock at the door, I’m bleary-eyed and still in yesterday’s armor. He raises an eyebrow at my state.

“I would ask if you were up all night having fun, but you look like a dead blobfish.”

I glare at him, but it doesn’t have the same effect it would on another Warrior. Kane only smirks back.

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