Page 83 of Of Songs and Silence

Hardest of all to hear her talk about her darlingUllalike she was a person who loved and grieved and not just the monster who destroyed the world for it. A chill rakes down my spine at the unexpected wave of understanding I felt when Danica told me Madame’s story.

“You aren’t like her.” Einar doesn’t struggle to follow the direction of my thoughts.

Perhaps the self-loathing is written all over my face.

But I think of Madame, and of the dragons. Knowing what I know now, it isn’t hard to guess she needed to use them for her revenge. Didn’t I threaten to do the same?

What would I have done, if I had lost my sisters? Einar?

I lean into my husband, soaking up the comfort I can never quite seem to feel deserving of.

“Am I not?” I ask. “I wasn’t bluffing about the dragons.”

“You would burn the world down to save the people you love, Zaina. That much is true.” He tightens his arms around me. “But you wouldn’t do it just to retaliate.”

“Is that so different?” My voice is smaller than I mean for it to be.

“It’s different enough.” He speaks in what I have come to think of as hisking voice, even and confident, with no room for argument.

I’m not sure he’s right, but I let myself believe it anyway because it’s better than facing the truth that I might be just as much of a monster as she is. Besides, it’s not like he fools himself about how unflinchingly ruthless I can be.

He’s counting on it.Sands, our entire plan revolves around it—the plan I wish I could stop thinking about. The scheme that we devised is brutal, requiring each of our unique skillsets and costing us something in turn. And it still might not be enough.

I run through the details relentlessly in my head, stopping only when Einar takes it upon himself to distract us both. Then I allow him to pull me down to the cabin below, taking me in his strong, steady arms and chasing both of our demons away until all we see is one another. Perhaps I should feel guilty, spending the last hours with him instead of finding another way to prepare for tonight. But we need this, to face what’s coming.

To remind us what we’re fighting for.

CHAPTERFIFTY-TWO

MELODI

It’s over.

I bring a shaking hand to my lips, my entire body going limp as I stare down at Ari. My mate. The warrior who finally defeated the king. Shock follows on the heels of my relief—not because he defeated Cepheus, but at the implications of his victory.

Ari is King. Which means that I’m not Kala anymore. I’m Queen.

Kane smiles. Whatever intense tonics Moli used on him have already taken effect. Though he is still bruised and bloody, he is conscious. And more importantly, alive. Moli packs up her tonics to escort me to Ari, who is covered in his fair share of wounds.

His cousin insists on coming, too, scooping up Napo in his shaking arms to accompany us.

My mind whirls as we make our way down to the arena where Ari stands stoically. He crosses the trench to stand at my side, speaking in the deepest part of my mind.

“Hara—well, Hara’ni, actually,” he corrects, adding the honorific. “But you’ll always be Kala to me.”

Always.

Because we’re free to be together now. Somewhere through my elation, the thought gnaws at something bittersweet inside of me. Before I can think too hard on it, another roar echoes out around us. The dragon flexes her colossal frame, shaking off the blood from her lips.

Moli and Kane hang back, though Napo tries to reach out curiously. My heart thunders in my chest as she lumbers toward us. I angle myself in between her and the others, just in case.

But she only dips her head, as though she’s bowing. She’s so close, I can feel the heat radiating from her mouth. Something tugs inside of me, a pull to her similar to the one I feel with Ari.

I glide forward, my hand outstretched. I place my palm on her flat nose, and she closes her eyes. Her heartbeat courses through me, and she nudges my hand, rubbing her scales against my skin. Several centuries of sadness reverberates in my chest.

“You don’t have to go back to that cave ever again,” I whisper. “You don’t have to hurt anyone.”

The dragon looks to Ari, as if to confirm my words. My mate steps closer, wrapping an arm around my back and dipping his head once. The dragon nuzzles him as well before retreating to the side of the arena, stretching like she’s testing her newfound freedom.

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