Page 87 of Of Songs and Silence

To forgivemyselffor the things I’ve done in her name.

When the door creaks open, I’m not half as startled as I should be, even knowing who is on the other side. I back against the wall, preparing for the inevitable encounter.

I have weapons, I remind myself.I am not helpless.

It doesn’t help. I’m still breathing in harsh, uneven pants when Damian pushes the door all the way open, his eyes widening in shock.

“Sister.” The word slithers across my skin, burrowing down into my bones.

Bile rises in my throat at the triumph in his gaze. I see the moment he decides not to alert Mother. After all, if she doesn’t know I’m here, she can’t punish him for killing me, or worse.

This is his demented dream come true.

I pull out my knife—the far less deadly of the weapons I carry—though I already know this isn’t a fight I can win. All I can do now is hope that the rest of the plan goes quickly.

Because my death surely won’t when Damian gets his hands on me.

CHAPTERFIFTY-FIVE

AIKA

I’m not sure how I got stuck with what is fully the worst part of this plan when I’d much rather be privy to the merry beheading of my dear brother, but here I am, making my way toward Madame’s throne room.

I should be terrified, but I’ve managed to lock most of that fear away in the back corners of my mind. We’ve already resolved to do this. Maybe we’ll die today.

Then again, maybe we won’t. By all rights, I should have met my end a long time ago, but I’m still here by whatever good graces the fates have for me. If I meet my end today, at least I have comfort that I will find Remy in the next life.

Or he will find me.

Voices echo off the cavernous walls before I even turn the corner. Then screams of pain and the thunk of bodies hitting the floor, the cozy backdrop of my entire life here at this chateau.

Apparently some brave soul was stupid enough to bring her word that there’s been an incident.

I shake my head. That’s a beginner’s mistake. It’s always better to let her notice an issue for herself while you’re already actively taking care of it.

Then again, I’m hardly one to talk about stupid decisions as I step directly in the path of her guards. I go for my stars, taking out the first and second before they can react.

The third cries out in warning, bringing more soldiers our way. Far more. More than I was expecting, by a long shot. Did she bolster her guard when the Mayima took Mel? Did she fear retaliation?

Or did she know we were coming?

Tendrils of fear creep along my spine, in spite of myself, but I don’t let them overtake me.

I take the third guard out mostly for spite because I’m not half as nice as Remy is, then fell several more before they finally manage to subdue me.

Mother dearest would be proud, if she wasn’t going to be so furious.

The guards don’t kill me, of course, since they don’t want Madame to kill them in turn. They don’t even attempt to take my satchel and check it for weapons. Which is a relief, since they would find a tiny orange monkey with big brown eyes inside.

Instead they throw open the doors and drag me to a far worse fate than death.

The blood drains from my face when I hear the familiar clacking of her fingernails against the gilded arms of her chair. I focus on the unsteady staccato of my heart as I reluctantly raise my eyes to meet hers.

She is thinner than when I saw her last, the lines of her face sharp and more angular than I remember them. Though I would never go so far as to call her frail, it’s almost as though something has fractured within her. My heartbeat falters, a familiar surge of guilt at the reason I’m here even as I remember all the things she’s done to deserve this.

“Daughter.” The word is cold, as much a curse as a greeting. “Surely you didn’t think you had a chance at besting me after the losses you sustained last time.” Her words are sharper than my silver stars, and with even less remorse. “So I can only assume you’ve come for your punishment?”

There are so many things I want to ask her, to say to her, but each of them dies on my lips. That’s not why I’m here, and only one thing matters now.

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