Page 38 of Death's Obsession

My feet fly down the stairs as I run to my car. I’m barely breathing. Barely thinking rationally. I’m blinded by thoughts of him. He’s finally letting me see him. Finally.

The city lights disappear as I get on the road that leads out into the forest. The moon is nowhere to be seen, hidden beneath fields of vicious clouds.

This whole time he was getting me to face my past and move beyond the things that were holding me back. He got rid of Evan, not for laying a hand on me, but because he was holding me back. Death left me letters not just to keep me standing, but to get my legs to move me forward.

Beneath my ribs, my heart rattles and sings with anticipation and fear and excitement. I’ve avoided this road since the accident, refusing to drive to Evan’s parent’s house just because this whole street is haunted by memories of that night. Yet, here I am, speeding toward it.

Maybe I’m not ready to face this place. I don’t think I’ll ever be. But I am beyond ready to drive past it.

I slow down and anxious critters crawl up my neck as I near the site that burned my sister alive. I immediately grab hold of the necklace to remind myself that Letum will be there.

The tree looks so innocent, standing on the side of a sharp bend in the road. No one would know that it’s a killer. Though, I suppose the bystander is the one that holds the blame, not the tree that is just trying to live.

I pull over to the side of the road, leaving my headlights directed straight at the tree and the hooded man standing in front of it. For one second, everything stops. The world around me doesn’t exist except for him. Then everything flies by as I run toward him, trampling over grass and fallen leaves.

He doesn’t move a muscle as I stand before him, holding my breath so he doesn’t hear me pant. My entire being freezes when I look into the space beneath his hood. A dimpled chin. Soft, supple lips. A lethally edged jaw. High cheekbones. All are shadowed beneath the hood but illuminated by the headlights.

I hold my breath as I reach out for his hood. For the first time, he doesn’t stop me when I trail my fingers along the soft cotton edge of his hoodie. I pull the material off his face and almost stagger back from his beauty. He’s exactly as I thought he looked, raven colored hair and thick black lashes fanning over his pupiless white eyes that see everything.

My heart seems to slow, and everything comes rushing back to me, overloading my senses so much that I almost buckle over. I know him. I know him like the back of my hand. Almost every night, he would help me escape, pulling me into the space between dreams to talk. His bedroom, the forest, the beach; I’ve been to all of them a hundred times before. I’ve gazed into his eyes a thousand times before, and it makes me melt every time.

Tears stream down my cheek as I drink him in. He’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I think about it every time he let me see his face.

I remember now. I remember every single time we’ve sat on the beach to watch the storm, while he told me tales of the world that has gone by. Every time he had me perched on his bed as he read me sonnets and stories. Every time he looked at me like nothing else mattered except the words that came out of my mouth.

I was another person in those dreams, yet I was the same. That Lili held all of the memories of the nights before, all of the sweet words whispered by Death. She knew that upon waking, I would forget all about the dreams. I wish I had never forgotten about him, but I’ll never forget again.

I forgot all about Death because of Dr. Mallory’s medication and the wound on my heart that refused to heal. Now that I remember Death, I would spend an eternity committing every word to memory and still be starved for more.

“Now you see, my night monster.”

I nod. His love. I am his; I always was, I just didn’t know it. He may not have taken my soul the night of the accident, but he did claim it. My body and soul stopped being mine the second I saw him. He’s the only one who has ever truly understood me; the loneliness, the call for the darkness, watching everyone I cared about die.

Without thinking, I stand on the tips of my toes and wrap my arms around his neck to bask in the smell that has been imprinted on my soul. His lips press against mine and our kiss is filled with so many firsts, and no lasts. The kiss is a promise of forever. Forever remembering every forgotten word. Forever relishing in every touch. Forever with Death.

“Thank you,” I whisper against his lips. “Thank you for waiting for me. Thank you for helping me see who I am.”

He kisses me with the weight of a thousand strikes of lightning. “Always, my love.”

“I’m ready.”

He frowns.

“I want you, Death. I want all of you. I see it now. I see the truth,” I say. He wipes the tears from my cheek, staring down at me intensely with his forehead resting against my own. “You were made for me, just as I was made for you. You complete me, Letum.” I kiss him to try and convey everything I’m saying so he knows without a sliver of doubt that I am telling the truth. “I give you my soul. For the rest of eternity, it is yours. Even in death, I am yours.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and my heart falls to my feet. But the feeling is fleeting because he yearns for me just as much as I do for him.

The first drop of rain hits my cheeks, then more droplets splatter against our skin, soaking our clothes.

“You, my love, are like a storm, drowning the land with sorrow, shattering ships with your broken waves. Still, you look into the eye of the storm and see nothing but beauty.” He pulls my head to the side and dips down so his lips are against my ear. “Let me drown in your ocean and feel your rage. Let me feel your waves crash against my skin, pulling me deeper into your depths so you will never be alone again.” His thumb grazes my lip before he claims me completely with a kiss. “You are the sunrise after the storm. The new beginning and the dawn. You, my flower, are beauty personified.”

“I love you, Letum.” I’ve said it before, in a dream.

How it hurts to say those three words and not remember them when you wake. But I know them to be truer than my own name.

He smiles, and I try to capture the image in my mind to save it and look at it whenever I’d like. “Oh, my Lilith. I love you more than the moon longs for the sun.”

We stand like that, holding each other, memorizing the moment. “I’m ready,” I say once more.

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