Page 109 of Where Broken Wings Fly

“We’re nearly home, babe.”

Pulling his denim jacket closer around me, I breathe in his fruity, tropical scent, letting it transport me to a distant land of white-sand beaches and clear skies. All I want to do right now is run away from them all.

I’m too afraid to look the guys in the eye. I can feel Killian’s possessive stare in the rear-view mirror, but I’m ignoring him. Their voices fade away, overtaken by the sympathetic lilt of the doctor’s voice as he explained what happened.

Pregnant.

Miscarriage.

Haemorrhaging.

Scarred womb.

Years of abuse and Arianna’s traumatic birth have made me into a ticking time bomb ready to explode. He doubts that I’ll ever conceive again. Part of me thinks I should be happy about that, but a larger, more complex part of me is distraught.

I lost my baby.

Not his. Mine.

It was a brand new life, barely just beginning inside of me. Now, it’s gone. I didn’t even know about this baby, but I’m still mourning the loss. I can’t explain it. My grief defies reason, no matter the logical arguments I try to talk myself into believing.

How could anyone possibly understand how it feels to grieve something that you didn’t know was happening inside of you? I’m sure they’re all thinking the same thing. It’s good that I lost this baby. I don’t have to birth another piece of Mr Sanchez.

Pain doesn’t always make sense.

Sometimes, it just… is.

Driving through the quiet afternoon, Killian cruises straight past Lola’s cabin and carries on up the steep hill. He parks outside their cabin, climbing out and reappearing at my door to help me climb out.

“You’re staying with us,” he says with a thin smile. “The last thing you need right now is more fighting. You can see Lola again when you’re ready.”

“Ari?”

“She’s inside. Missed her mama, too. We’ll set the spare room up for you.”

Killian eases me out of the car, an arm curled around me for support. I limp up the steps, ducking through the door that Zach holds open for me, carrying my hospital bag slung over his shoulder. Even his smile seems forced.

The moment I’ve stepped over the threshold, a blur of white-haired energy races across the cabin. A pair of arms latches around my legs and nearly knocks me off balance with the ferocity of her relief. My beautiful girl.

“Mummy! Mummy!”

“Ari,” I gasp.

Tears immediately start to pour, escaping from my eyes in a thick river of agony. When she peers up at me, the look on her face shatters my broken heart into even smaller pieces. It seems like she didn’t believe I was coming back.

“Hey, baby.”

“I missed you,” she keens. “Cuddle?”

“Sure. Let me sit down first.”

Unable to lift her, I let Killian guide me over to the sofa. It’s occupied by an even more surprising sight. Micah sits up from his slouching position, offering me a tiny smile. I was not expecting to see him out of his studio.

He’s clearly been babysitting while the guys came to fetch me from the hospital. There’s an animated movie playing in the background, one of Arianna’s favourites. His usual painting clothes are nowhere in sight.

“Hey,” he offers.

All I can do is nod.

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