Page 17 of Pregnant at the Palace Altar

“I have much to do,” he said, his voice a shade rough, his tone more philosophical than determined to make any movement or action.

“Then you should do it,” Katerina said agreeably.

But they both lay there, maybe an inch of space between them, not touching.

This was her fate. She saw it so starkly. She could have pieces of him and she could control certain aspects of him, but there would always be this invisible line between them. And if it was between him and her, it would exist between him and their children as well.

Could she bear it? Could she ask her as of yet unborn children to bear it too?

“You may choose your own staff as you see fit once the announcement is made,” he said, switching to business so easily she hated that she’d given him an ounce of contentment. “I trust you know everyone currently on staff except your replacement. You may choose from the current pool, or I can bring in applicants as you wish.”

“I’m sure the current pool is sufficient, though I would be very interested in meeting my replacement.” She watched him then, wondering whether he would ever look at her, or would simply stare at the gilt ceiling until he rolled off the bed, tucked himself away, and left her alone.

“He is...not as good as you,” Diamandis said carefully. “But then, you left very big shoes to fill.”

It was a compliment that should not make her happy, and yet it did. She had taken pride in her work, in making herself indispensable.In proving your mother wrong.

Ugh.

She pulled the blanket tightly around her. The thought of her mother was a stark reminder that she was, at her core, not any better. She was a slave to her wants and damn the consequences.

She heard a rustle of movement, felt the mattress dip then pop back. Diamandis was getting up. He was leaving.

And what the hell was she supposed to do now? Run? Try to convince him, yet again, that marriage wasn’t possible and that he should let her go? She knew how it worked, even if not how this specific thing worked. The wheels of his plans were already in motion, and nothing would stop them.

“I think we should put off any announcements, Diamandis,” she said, sounding stronger than she felt. “I am not convinced this is the correct course of action.”

He shrugged. “I am.”

He spoke as if that was it. As if that was all that mattered.

Oh, how she wished she had the energy to punch him. “I know what it is to grow up in a house devoid of love and warmth, Diamandis. I may not have grown up in the castle, but I had quite a few luxuries. It did not make up for my mother’s cruelty.”

“There is a big space between love and cruelty, Katerina. I will not be cruel to you or our children. I will never love anyone, but that does not mean we cannot share a mutual sort of respect for one another.”

It hurt. Far more than it should considering she knew this man, maybe better than he knew himself. “Is that what we’re calling it?” she returned, incapable of keeping the acid out of her tone.

His mouth firmed. “It does not have to be a mistake, Katerina. It could simply be life. Is it really so much worse than scratching by, alone and destitute in a hovel in Athens?”

“You’re such a snob, Diamandis. Just because it wasn’t a castle doesn’t mean I was destitute.”

“I may not have experienced it myself, but I am well acquainted with what poverty looks like, and how hard people have to work to survive it. I cannot understand why you’d choose to struggle like that when you could have this.” He waved his hand as if to encompass the palace.

And the thing was, she didn’t fully understand it, either. Which sacrifice was better for her children? She couldn’t seem to come to a conclusion that settled her. No conclusion was the right one. No choice gave them everything.

“Zandra didn’t go running back to the streets of Athens just because she didn’t like some elements of royalty.”

“I am not your sister. You cannotsaveme from a life I have chosen with my own free will.”I would choose you, she realized. And it hurt, because she knew he would never choose her.

Only Kalyva.

And yet, he was nottotallywrong, was he? If they could somehow avoid the whispers that had tormented her in her childhood, then this would be quite the life for her children. The best of everything. Was her pride more important than that?

She didn’t know. She just didn’t know.

But Diamandis certainly thought he did. “We shall see.” And then he left.

Without looking back.

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