Page 35 of Falling for the Recluse

“No, we don’t.” His whole body is as rigid as metal. “We never will.”

The halves of my heart start to splinter.

“You were right after all, Dr. Stark.” I turn and walk to the door, my whole body aching with heartbreak and the effort of holding back my tears. “Your reputation as an Ice Prick isverywell deserved. Good luck with the rest of your life.”

I slam the door behind me. The final bang echoes through me even as I board the boat and leave Needle Island.

ChapterEighteen

GAVIN

Without her,the field house is hollow, an empty shell. I tell myself this is how it has to be. She belongs in California. I belong here.

Not that I haven’t thought about another way itcouldbe. I’ve had plenty of job offers over the years, both in the States and Europe. With little effort, I could find a permanent position at a university or a research institute, even if I wouldn’t be located anywhere near her.

But I’ve been alone for so long that I don’t even know if I’m capable of real life. Of living off the ice. Of being in the hot sun. Of waking up in a world of flowers and green hills.

Herworld.

She has friends, family, a life. She’s young and just starting out. She has a thousand adventures ahead of her. It won’t be long before she realizes a hostile, reclusive ice scientist would never fit in her life. Here, isolated from everything and everyone, we’re good—no, we’re fucking fantastic—and as combustible as hell.

But in regular life? In an ordinary world?

The Antarctic Treaty has strict provisions to keep pests and non-native species from damaging the environment. People can’t transport seeds or plants into Antarctica because unknown elements can be destructive. Some things are better left where they are.

So am I.

I walk through the house. Silent as a tomb. Josie’s bedroom door is open, but all her stuff is gone.

I cross to my bunk and come to a stop in the doorway. My heart ices over like a glacier. Josie’s stuffed penguin, Oswald, sits on my pillow. Just a few hours ago, he was in her room. No way did she just forget to take him with her.

I pick him up and gaze at his sparkly plastic eyes.

He looks as if he misses her as much as I already do.

ChapterNineteen

JOSIE

Though the Bay Areais filled with green grass and blooming flowers, the wide freeways, endless cars, and smog are like scars on the landscape. In the month following my return from Antarctica, I feel like an astronaut returning to earth, struggling to readjust to having my feet on solid ground again.

But this is how it was supposed to be all along. Astronauts don’t stay in the beauty of space forever. And while I never anticipated falling so wildly, head-over-heels in love with Dr. Gavin Stark—in fact, I initially hoped he’d just acknowledge my existence—I remind myself that realistically, I couldn’t have stayed on Needle Island past my deadline anyway. Even if the storm had lingered, I’d have had to leave eventually.

Maybe it’s a good thing he forced me to leave early. At least we didn’t prolong the inevitable.

It doesn’t feel good, though. Even as I compile my penguin data and get back into the routine of classes, my separation from Gavin gnaws at me like a serrated knife. It’s not right that we’re apart. We should be together.

How,I have no idea. The hopeful side of me is convinced there has to be a way, but the realistic side keeps running into obstacles. I can’t even move to another state right now, much less Antarctica. And even if Gavin decided to leave Antarctica and come to California, I couldn’t reconcile loving him and knowing he wasn’t where he wanted to be. Where he belongs.

The impossibilities constantly spin through my mind.

“Next, please.” The university registrar’s voice breaks through my thoughts.

Hitching my book bag over my shoulder, I step up to the registration desk and hand the woman my student ID card.

“I tried to pay my next tuition installment online this morning,” I explain, “but the payment wouldn’t go through. I was wondering if there’s a glitch in the system.”

“Let me check for you.” Peering over the top of her glasses, she inputs my info into her computer. Her eyebrows lift. “Nothing’s wrong with the system. Your payment didn’t go through because your tuition is paid.”

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