Page 149 of Dirty Eoin

“Thank you for your kind offer, Jaine, but I won’t be changing my mind on the matter.”

A pause.

“I’m sorry for what happened to you, Roisin, and I truly mean that. But you can’t simply condemn all bikers because of one bad experience.”

“I just didn’t want my sons to go through what I did. In my experience, bikers live by their own rules. They live hedonistic, almost nomadic lifestyles. Maybe that’s why they stick to their own kind. There’s no expectation for them to behave like normal people that way.”

“Is that why you wanted me to be kept away from Padraig? Because I’m a biker?”

I look at her. “Partially, but that wasn’t the main reason.”

“Do you mind telling me what was?”

“Aside from the fact that he was part of an arranged marriage before your existence became known to us, if I recall, you were in love with two men at the time. The biker you went on to marry and Padraig.”

She nods.

“My youngest was hurting, and as a mother now yourself, you know it’s the hardest thing to see. Your child suffering. I didn’t want Padraig’s pain to drag on or for him to get his hopes up when, from experience, the likelihood was you were going to choose one of your own. Tell me, Jaine, who would you have picked if you could have chosen only one?”

She stares at me, her reality now sinking in. That maybe with hindsight, the decision we made for Paddy was actually a blessing in disguise for all of them.

She doesn’t answer because she can’t.

Not then. And not now.

“I admit that I didn’t want any of my boys becoming involved with bikers based on my own experience, and I apologize for that. It was wrong of me to pre-judge the rest of you.”

She still doesn’t reply.

“Going by your silence, perhaps we did you a favor when it came to Padraig by taking that impossible decision out of your hands. Maybe, in the end, our doing so was the kindest thing for everyone concerned. It’s time to move on now. You need to let go of the past and accept the fact that you love him too.”

I stare at her, and she frowns.

“Who do I love?”

“Eoin.”

She shakes her head. “I don’t.”

I tsk. “You’re lying to yourself. Everyone can see it, even if you can’t. The boy can sense that you do, and that’s why he’s refusing to walk away. Subconsciously or otherwise, you’re giving him hope then refusing to commit.”

CHAPTERFORTY-EIGHT

JAINE

Saint Patrick’s Cathedral, Manhattan, New York

I don’t answer.Not only do I not know what to say, but I can’t even think about that right now.

For now, I just need to sit here and hold on to a piece of rope that feels like it’s getting heavier with each passing hour.

We sit in silence. It’s not awkward, and even if it were, it’s not like we can go anywhere. We’re both pondering what’s been said, I’m sure.

Roisin’s reveal about the son she gave up. Her next reveal that Eoin’s still in love with me.

Then the $64,000 question.

If I had to choose between Ace and Irish, which way would I have gone?

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