Page 113 of Dirty Padraig: Dirty Dusters

My eldest brother, on the other hand. He loves Jaine. She loves him. They sort of share a child together in the shape of little JJ. He can offer Jaine the world. And the world is what she deserves. She’s been through enough as it is.

If you love someone, set them free.

I can’t dwell on it. That’s exactly what I need to do.

There’s a knock on the bedroom door. I smile at the ginger lad as he enters the room.

“It’s good to see you, Tim.”

“You too, Padraig.”

Apparently, Tim was the nurse in charge of Eoin when he was shot by the bullet intended for Finian.

My son.

I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. I haven’t told anyone that I know yet. I thought I’d get this thing sorted out with Jaine first. That’s why I need to see our Eoin.

“Jaine was asking after you.”

“Was she now?”

I try to appear disinterested, but he’s not daft. He knows I want to know almost as much as I don’t. We were found unconscious and wrapped around each other by Dylan, Eoin, Dr. Kelly, and Tim.

It was clear to all present that Jaine and I share a past. It wasn’t a hold of friendship. It was a hold of lovers.

Of two people who loved each other in the last life, who love each other in this life, and who will love each other in the next life and the one after that.

The latter is what I cling on to. That we’ll find each other again next time around.

If I have to go through the rest of my days with Jaine married to my brother, then so be it. He hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s not his fault he fell in love with her once they were forced into close proximity. She’s easy to fall in love with. I should know.

“And what did you tell her?”

“That if she wants to know how you are, then maybe she should just give you a call.”

She won’t. We had gone weeks without talking before we got trapped, and it was me who ceased communications. For them to resume, I’d need to be the one reaching out, and I won’t do that. At least, not until I’ve got her and Eoin back together.

I don’t want anything that happened in the safe room to have caused any confusion, as there can be none. At the moment, she clearly thinks I’m happily married and that our closeness was as a result of the circumstances we found ourselves in.

It needs to stay that way.

I can’t have her thinking there’s any future for us when a future’s not something I’m even guaranteed.

I need to switch the conversation away from Jaine. As much as I want to know about her I don’t want Tim to feel caught in the middle. I witnessed firsthand what that did to our Dylan.

“Another couple of days, and you’ll be up and about, I reckon.”

“And Jaine?”

“She’ll need a day or so more. She was already undernourished. She spends all her time looking out for everyone else when, really, she needs to start looking after herself properly.”

“She not the type of girl you can tell what to do.”

“Yeah, I get that. Headstrong and then some. Have you known her a long time?”

“Since I was nineteen. We studied at Yale together.”

“And were you a couple back then?”

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