Page 82 of Heart Sick
“Who is it?”
“I can’t know for certain…”
“But you have some idea, right?” Panic overwhelms me because I know what he’s going to say before he even says it.
“Yes, but that’s the one thing I refuse to believe.”
“Who?” I whisper, eyes filled with tears.
“When I’ve had these visions, I see…your eyes behind the wheel.”
It’s like Dutch has a sudden epiphany, and he clenches his jaw.
“What is it?”
He goes to stand, but I grip his wrist, begging he tell me the truth because I’m at his mercy.
“In a vision, I saw Jack with a woman.”
“Like a lover?”
He nods.
“And you think that woman isme?”
His silence speaks volumes.
“Oh my god.” Vomit soon rises and I throw off the blanket, running to the bathroom.
I throw up the small amount of food I just ate, but I want to purge this entire nightmare from my body.
“Luna—”
“Go away,” I mumble, my head buried in the toilet.
He, of course, doesn’t listen. He sits down beside me. He doesn’t touch me, however, and for that, I am glad. I need to wrap my head around all of this. I don’t understand it, but I can’t help but acknowledge that this doesn’t feel like news to me.
It feels as if I already knew just who Jack was.
“So us meeting wasn’t a coincidence? This connection we feel is because we knew the same man?”
I’m afraid to look at Dutch, but I can’t hide forever.
Lifting my head, I look at Dutch through new eyes because are we really connected in some sick, macabre way?
“No wonder you don’t trust me.”
“Luna—”
He tries to touch me, but I shrink away. “No, don’t. Until I know who I am…until I know what I did, I don’t think I’ll ever be okay with us.”
Dutch frowns, my comment wounding him. “I understand, but my feelings for you…they’re just that. They’remine.I meant everything I said to you.”
Tears sting my eyes, but I wipe them away. “What god-awful nightmare are we living? Tell me everything you know about me. Please,” I add, as I don’t want him to sugarcoat anything.
He nods before coming to a stand. He offers his hand, but I don’t take it. He hides his offense and leaves me alone to digest what he just shared.
How is this possible?
