Page 33 of For his Surrender

Will this be my life for the next two years?To keep driving inappropriate thoughts about my own wife out of my head? Shit!If there is a god who punishes sons of bitches, he surely concluded that it was past time to punish me, what the fuck!

The surprised sound that escaped my throat attracts the attention of Isabella, who turns around, finding me.The girl is small, has light skin, dark blonde hair, a little lighter than her mother’s, but darker than mine, and honey-colored brown eyes.She tilts her head, studying me.Antonella, distracted by modeling cookies, only turns around when Isabella says:

“Are you Marcos?” she asks, and it’s my turn to study her.

“Yes, I am.”

“Mommy’s husband?” she asks too.Antonella and I have agreed to name it, after all, children are unpredictable, and what we need the least is for Isabella to unintentionally let go that her mother and I are just friends, for example.

“That’s right,” I agree, smiling.There you go, Marcos.She’s just awake. She’s not that bad. You’re a fucking lawyer!Deals with white-collar criminals every day, you can manage to deal with a child.

“And you’ll be my daddy?” Isabella triggers the question, and I breathe completely wrong, sending the saliva where it shouldn’t be, losing air and coughing desperately.

“Isabella!” Antonella says before getting off the stool she was sitting on and coming to my rescue.She hits me on the back, not caring about her dirty and greasy hands from the cookie dough.And I don’t know if I appreciate the help, or if I regret the untimely death of a Tom Ford suit. Damn!

“I’ll get you some water,” Antonella warns before running toward the fridge.I lean myself with my arms outstretched and my hands holding the edges of the kitchen island, I lower my head and struggle to regain control over my breathing.I pull once, twice, three times, twelve times before I feel minimally able to breathe without drowning.

“Here.” She gives me a glass of water and I take it.My eyes burn, and as I swallow small sips, I feel tears of agony streaming down the corners of my eyes.

“I’m sorry…” she asks, sounding very embarrassed.Her cheeks are red and her goes up and down, accelerated by the sudden movement to help me and get the glass of water quickly.

“It’s ok...” I force the words down my throat.It wasn’t her fault, after all.Neither the child’s, no matter how fucked up that moment was.The good part is that this is the worst that could have happened.So going forward, things just tend to get better.

Antonella walks by me, heading in the direction of Isabella, who’s still in the same place, sitting on the stool, behind me.

“Isabella! What did Mommy tell you?That you weren’t supposed to ask that kind of question.”

“But Mommy, I want to know if I’m going to have little brothers! Leti from the day-care said that when her mother married a husband, she got little brothers...” the girl says and, this time, it is with the water I had in my mouth that I choke. Fuck! Who said it couldn’t get any worse, huh?

“Okay, Bella! That’s enough for today! Let’s wash our hands and see the movie of the princess and the dragon?” Antonella sounds desperate, and I almost thank her that I’m not the only one who feels that way.

“What about the cookies, mommy?”

“We’ll finish the cookies later, Bella! Now, let’s see the movie you like a on big TV, shall we?” Antonella asks, clearly buying the child with the size of the television screen.

“Yes!” she answers and, moments later, Antonella walks past me with the girl clutched to her body, like a little monkey.

“Bye, Marcos,” she says smilingly, waving at me, still with her hands completely covered in cookie dough.

“Bye, Isabella.”

“It was an interesting first date,” I say as I arrive in the kitchen hours later and meet Antonella.Yeah, I hid in my own room for hours and, no, I’m not proud of it.But I needed some time before the chance for any other embarrassing questions were asked to me.

Antonella averts her eyes from her task, widening them as she sees me.She has a series of packages and cans laid out on the counter and looks at them as if trying to put together a puzzle.Now, this look is directed at me, and I frown, not understanding why, until I realize that I am shirtless and wearing only my sleeping shorts.

“Damn…” I say, closing my eyes and running a hand over my face.I didn’t think about that.When I return to focus my attention on Antonella, she opens and closes her mouth twice before actually saying anything.

“I’m sorry about earlier...” she asks, choosing to ignore the subject of my half-nakedness, however, her eyes wander aimlessly, moving in all directions and never fixing on any. “She asked me those same questions when I talked to her and I tucked her, I thought she’d forget.Clearly, I was wrong, however, it will not happen again, I promise...” she guarantees, with slightly reddish cheeks.

“It’s ok, Antonella.She’s just a child” I try to calm her down, even though calm was all I didn’t feel in that moment.She shakes her head, agreeing. “Why are you looking at these cans and packaging like it’s a Tetris game?” I open the refrigerator and take a bottle of water from there.I go in the direction Antonella is about to grab a glass and realize that the kitchen island cabinet is completely empty and what I saw was just part of a much bigger chaos.

“You know Carmen won’t be happy about this, don’t you?” I ask, really worried that my housekeeper will murder my fiancée before I can marry her, just because she touched the organization of her kitchen.

Fiancée. I want to test the word out loud, but I don’t. Antonella laughs softly.

“I have asked permission of the all-powerful lady of this kitchen.”

“What are you doing? It’s…” I look at the clock on my wrist “eleven-thirty at night.” I take the glass and fill it halfway before returning the bottle to the refrigerator.

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