Page 5 of For his Surrender

“If we’re going to?” She immediately reacts to my words, planting a doubt between us. “I didn’t agree to any of this...”

“But you’re still here, aren’t you?”

Her gaze shifts from mine and wanders around us, but it’s evident that she’s not really paying attention to anything.Because after eight months of working here, I find it unlikely that there’s an inch of this house she doesn’t even know better than I do.

Her eyes wander among the bookshelves filled with books and useless decorative objects, pass through the dark walls and leather padded armchairs, focus on the bar for several minutes, before finally staring at me again.

“Why me?”

“Because it would be easier.”

“Easier…” she repeats quietly before moving her head up and down.

“Listen, Antonella, I have no intention of offending you, or, as you said, reducing you...” I make a sign of quotation marks with my hands when saying the last word, and the woman frowns, “but if I were in your position, my choice would be obvious.So I thought it would be easy.This isn’t about you, it’s about the situation...”

“And why don’t you actually get married?”

“It’s complicated...” Her head is tilted slightly to the side, in a silent question that I have to agree with.Well, if we’re getting married, she better know everything. “I’m not husband material, Antonella...”

“Your self-esteem is admirable...” she says ironically, and I laugh.

“I like that you’re sassy.”

“But you don’t think I’m smart.”

“I never said that.”

“No, you just said that I could live off shopping and that my only reason for existing while we’re married will be to look beautiful…” I know I should worry about how she feels about what I said or how she said it, but what strikes me most is the fact that she used the wordswhile we are, notif we are.

“I never said you couldn’t do more than that, I just said that this would be all I would ask of you. And recognizing that I’m not a man made for true marriages, it’s not a lack of self-esteem, it’s knowing who I am.I don’t want a wife, Antonella.”

“But you need one, why?”

“Well, let’s say my father has caught me in... delicate situations... in the last few months... for... three times... and the last one cost us a very important client,” I explain, taking much longer breaks than necessary, while looking for honest words, however, that are not so revealing. “The board is not happy with the fact that all this happened inside the company and during my father’s management, and is now forcing him to retire.In theory, I should take the position of managing partner, since the office has my name on the door, but, as things stand, this is not going to happen…”

“Delicate situations?” She raises an eyebrow, and strangely, I feel self-conscious.

I am not a man who is easily embarrassed, nor who is uncomfortable with his own attitudes, but discussing the fact that my father caught me twice, in a week, fucking my secretaries on the desk in my office, and that it cost us a client and the millions that came along with it, for some reason, does not seem right.

“You were with women...” She deduces with my silence and seems as embarrassed as I am saying it.I just agree, deciding the details aren’t important. “And now they want you to get married?”

“They want me to make myself respectable.” I emphasize the absurdity of this demand and, curiously, I have the impression that Antonella agrees with me about the utter hypocrisy of this view of family, even if she says nothing.

It’s not that I don’t believe in the institution.I believe, my parents have been amazing throughout my life, but there are thousands of people who have not had the same experience despite their complete family constitution.The courts I go to are filled with cases of domestic violence, parental abandonment, and other horrible things, even though I don’t work with them.

“My father has a deadline to retire.If I don’t get married and prove myself a changed man by then, the office management will be handed over to a son of a bitch I hate...”

“So, this is for the company management...”

“You could say that.”

“But you want this? Being a managing partner of the firm?”

“I don’t have many options at the moment.”

“And all I would have to do is keep up appearances?” she asks, and I control myself not to smile, things finally seem to be heading where I want.

“Exactly...”

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