Page 56 of For his Surrender

“Does she bite?” I ask Giovanna, who laughs aloud.

“No! That’s a fat, sleeper cat trapped in the body of an English Mastiff.It’s a real giant baby...”

“Alright…” I’m about to say I’ll be joining them again when Marcos’ father talks.

“Come on, doting mommy. Let this granny share some love too... She’s been waiting for this for so long…”

I gasp.My eyes widen, and though I wanted to say many things, nothing comes out of my mouth.Again, I look for Marcos with my eyes, but now all his attention is focused on Isabella, on her reaction to the words.And again, her childish reasoning fills the room with laughter.Now, except for mine, which I breathe with relief.

“My mother’s not a dot, she’s a person!” She turns in Joaquim’s direction, seemingly unaware that he said Giovanna was her grandmother, and then looks back at me. “Mommy, can I go?”

“Yes, my love... Go ahead…” I allow her, and she jumps out until she takes Marcos’ mother’s hand.I watch the two of them walk out, and it is my fiancé’s call that distracts me from the empty space they have left.

“Ella?” I find his arm outstretched for me.I approach, and just as he did again and again during yesterday’s ball, as if this were a natural reaction to my closeness, his arm wraps around my waist and his nose snaps into my neck, pulling a deep inhalation.My body reacts to his touch, lighting up, shuddering slightly and for a moment, taking my mind back to the penthouse hall last night.Damn you, you traitor!

I convince myself to return to the present and find Joaquim watching us with a curious but, at the same time, satisfied expression on his face.An awkward silence takes over the space between us until it is filled with awkward words when Marcos speaks.

“Dad, you’re embarrassing Antonella...It’s ugly to stare, remember?” Joaquim laughs and looks away at last, but the damage is already done.He twirls the glass of whiskey in his hand and then looks back at us.

“I’m sorry, Antonella, but a grandchild wasn’t the only thing Giovanna and I had hoped for too long…”

“Father!” Marcos scolds him, and I really smile, even if the realization that his father does not know that our relationship is a lie takes me by surprise.I mean, isn’t it something related to him that motivated all this? Shouldn’t he know?

He should, probably. But the satisfaction in his eyes, the way his gaze practically venerates Marcos’ arm around me, none of this leaves any doubt that he doesn’t know.

“Tell me about yourself, Antonella. Marcos said you go to law school?” I look at the man next to me, who has a calm expression on his face.

“Yes, I do. With the rush of marriage and the unforeseen event at Bella’s day-care, I don’t know if Marcos even commented on it...I had to request a leave of absence this period, but I’ll be back on the next...” I say and he smiles.

“No!What happened at the day-care?”

“Isabella had a minor accident while under their care...She’d been there almost a year, but now I can’t trust them, not anymore...”

“I understand,” he replies, nodding his head in the affirmative. “When Marcos was little we had difficulties too.Until Giovanna found and trusted Carmen, she stopped working.”

“It’s hard…” I murmur.

“Having kids is quite a journey.But every step of it is worth it,” he says, and his proud gaze moves even me, and I begin to understand what Marcos meant weeks ago when he stated that it wasn’t just the position that was orchestrating all this.It was for his father...How does it feel to have a father like that?I can’t help but silently ask myself this question...

“But soon things will settle and we will have another lawyer in the family,” he comments smiling, making me smile too, just until her next question. “What about your parents?What do they do?” My body freezes immediately, and I don’t miss Marcos’ quick frown as I feel my reaction.I swallow dry before answering.

“We don’t speak...” I just say, and Joaquim’s smile dies on his lips slowly.

“I’m sorry about that.” His eyebrows join together, as if he had just realized something. “It must have been very difficult raising Isabella alone so far.” He has no idea, just shaking his head, agreeing, because I really don’t want to dwell on that. “Well, but now you have Marcos.My son has many flaws, Antonella, I know, because many of them are the same as mine, but he knows what family means, and that’s what you are now: family!Giovanna and I will also be here for whatever you need, anything.”

His statement provokes an immediate reaction in my eyes.I blink, feeling the sudden burn, and try to swallow, but there’s a lump in my throat.I look at Marcos, looking for I don’t know what.His lips touch my cheek before whispering in my ear so that only I hear.

“Relax! Breath, Antonella, breath…” I obey, but it doesn’t work.Not until Isabella rushes into the room, calling out to me and chattering endlessly about how amazing the giant dog is, and just looking at her anchors me back like nothing ever has been or will be able to do.

The rest of the afternoon goes quietly, at least, until we announce the date of the wedding, a little more than fifteen days later.Giovanna almost repeats the ball scene, but this time, she manages to swallow the drink first.Marcos’s parents stare at us in astonishment for some time before comprehension takes hold of Joaquim’s face and he takes on a serious expression, then he watches us even more closely and, after some time, relaxes, as if, whatever answer he was looking for, he had found it, and it is on my forehead that this realization leaves a wrinkle.

Marcos’ mother does not achieve the same tranquility.Giovanna bombards me with questions about marriage, questions to which I have no answers, because I have no idea what is being organized, and I invent them, hoping to remember each of them later.Cakes, pastries, decoration, place, we talked about everything about the reception and the ceremony before we finally managed to jump to another subject.

Hours pass and, when I realize, it’s already dark, and the little eyes of Bella, who spent the day divided between playing phone games, watching television and playing with everything that Giovanna could turn into toys, in addition to the doll we brought, are heavy, leaving no doubt that she will arrive sleeping at home.And although the afternoon was much quieter than I imagined it would be, with the exception, of course, of a few moments of tension on specific subjects, Isabella’s tiredness is the perfect justification for us to leave.Surprising me once again today, it is Marcos who speaks the words.

“Dad, mom, Isabella needs some rest. We’re leaving…” His parents’ eyes sparkle at his apparent concern for my daughter, and I take a deep breath, forcing me to put aside the hassle of knowing he’s faking it.

We say goodbye with the promise that we will return before the wedding and, confirming my prediction, as soon as I finish passing the seat belt through the car seat, Bella is already asleep, yet I sit next to her in the back seat.The journey back home is made even more quietly, since there are no sounds of Isabella’s games or her endless chatter about the dog, and there is too much time and space for my thoughts to spread, grow and swirl inside me, making me angry at myself, at Marcos, at this whole situation.