Page 37 of Leader

Despite all the times we’ve had sex, I don’t think we’ve ever made love. We love each other, of course, and I’ve felt it in his touch countless times. Yet in our fucked up lives where survival is everything, that’s been reflected more often than not, and I’ve never minded that—I don’t even mind it now. I still need this, though, and I think he does too.

“Cia—” with a pained groan he cuts himself off and presses his lips to mine.

This time, it’s sweet. There’s barely any pressure, and instead of forcing his way into my mouth, he licks at my lips while moving his hands so they’re both tangled in my hair. I open up and give him the entrance he’s seeking, and as he licks my tongue with his own, I move us so we’re both lying on our side facing each other.

One of Gus’ hands trails slowly up my side, leaving a burning sensation in its wake as my body reacts to the featherlight touch. Even though I feel the familiar need to rip his clothes off, I make myself lie still, allowing him to set the pace with no interference from me.

Wrapping one arm around me, he pulls me up with him so we’re on our knees on the bed, our mouths still moving together. His hands settle on my hips and just as I think he’s about to undo my pants and dive in, he instead undoes the knot on the t-shirt I’m wearing so agonizingly slow I whimper into his mouth.

“Gus!” I feel his smile at my impatience, but he doesn’t move faster.

Tilting my head to the side, he breaks our kiss and kisses his way up and down my neck before whispering, “You wanted me to make love to you, Cia. Love isn’t rushed.” He’s right, of course, that doesn’t make it less torturous though.

A satisfactory sigh leaves my lips as he finally pulls the t-shirt over my head and unhooks my bra, letting both fall to the bed. I can’t keep my hands still any longer, so I remove his tee as well, and hug him close, loving the feel of his burning skin against mine. The metal in his nipple feels cool against my flesh, a stark contrast that makes my breath shallow.

“I’m not sure I can keep going this slow,” Gus groans, cupping my cunt outside my jeans, and I undulate my hips to get some much needed friction.

“I never said it can’t be quick,” I retort.

With a chuckle, he gently pushes me back down on my back and removes my pants. Although I’ve been naked in front of him a million times, it feels different somehow. The intensity in his gaze makes me squirm, and my face feels heated.

As I reach for his pants, wanting them gone, he takes my hand and presses a kiss to the back of it before placing it under my thigh. “Love isn’t rushed,” he says again, reminding me of what I asked for—what I demanded. “You know that better than anyone, Cia. How long did we have to wait?”

“Technically, we didn’t have to wait at all. I’ve always loved you.” The answering smile I get sends my heart soaring, like a bird it flutters fast in my chest.

The adoring look in his eyes as he looks at me after removing all my clothes is my undoing. I don’t know where the tears that are gathering in my eyes come from, or why I suddenly feel like I can’t speak. All I can do is lie here and drink him in.

Gus has always been beyond handsome, but this version, the one that’s looking at me as though I’m his everything, is breathtaking. It makes me feel as though I’m a mortal staring at divinity. It makes me feel shy and… I don’t know… small, insignificant, but also cherished and powerful at the same time.

“I love you so much.” His blue eyes widen at my words, and the hand that was resting on my thigh now gently cups my face.

“Not as much as I love you,” he murmurs. “That’s not possible.”

I want to scoff at the notion that he thinks he loves me more than I do him, but luckily the rational part of my brain kicks in before I open my big mouth. There’s nothing to discuss, nothing to gain from trying when the sentiment means that we both win.

My thoughts dissipate like clouds on a sunny day as Gus sucks one of my taut nipples into his mouth. “Mhmm,” I moan, spreading my legs wider when his hand cups my wet sex.

Forgetting what I’d asked for, I impatiently move my hips so I can rub myself against his hand. An impatient noise tears through my throat when he chuckles. “What did I say?” he asks, my wet and peaked nipple slipping from his mouth. When I don’t answer, he removes his hand and gets up on his knees.

As he slowly removes his clothes, I lick my lips. “I-I…” What did he ask me again? I can barely remember my own name now that he’s completely naked, and his hard cock is pointing towards me. “You don’t have to keep going so slow,” I huff as I finally shake myself out of the spell he has on me.

“Oh, but I think I do.”

That’s all he says before lying down next to me again, immediately hoisting one of my legs over his hip as we both lie on our sides so we’re facing each other.

His hand trails the length of my leg, from my ankle, all the way to my hip, before he cups my ass so gently I shouldn’t be able to feel it. Yet, his touch makes my skin burn and where he’s no longer touching me, my skin puckers as though I’m cold.

I smile as I place one hand on his chest. His heart is beating as fast as mine is, and the quickenedthump, thump, thumpmakes me feel even closer to him. Unwilling to just lie there while he takes, I shuffle as close as I can, loving the feel of his hardness that’s nestled against my core. It would be so easy to get him inside me.

Instead of rushing things along, I stretch so our mouths connect again. “This is perfect,” I breathe.

My words spur him into action. “I want to taste you so fucking bad. Make you come all over my face and fingers, but I need to be inside you even more,” he groans, sounding like it’s his very own Sophie’s Choice.

I move one hand between us and fist the base of his velvety smooth shaft. Deciding for both of us, I guide him to my core. Gus pumps his hips and the tip easily slides between my swollen, wet folds. My expectations of him burying himself to the hilt are shattered when he holds back, and his intense gaze meets mine. I bite down on my lip, holding the question back as I try to find the answers in his sockets, but there are none.

Technically, that’s not right, there are always answers, and in this case I already know it. Gus is waiting for me, making sure he isn’t overpowering me. In other words, he’s showing me his love. My eyes moisten again, and I try to blink the unwelcome tears away. How is it that this man—my man—can consume me so? It’s as if both Eros and Aphrodite have unleashed their powers, cocooned us, and like a tide, I’m completely swept up in it.

“Am I hurting you?” Gus’ voice is so thick with concern I quickly shake my head. “Then what? Why are you crying?”

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