My sister-in-law-to-be has a serious expression on her face, and I know nothing good will follow. “I’m curious about what’s going on with you and your deliveries to the tattoo shop.”
“What do you mean?”
“I noticed before that your deliveries there would take longer than they should, and I didn’t think much of it at first, but there was a definite pattern, and today has convinced me that it wasn’t a coincidence. What’s going on?”
I consider creating some sort of fabrication. I could say I go shopping after my delivery, or detour to the beach, or take a break for some sort of frivolous activity. I’ve never been irresponsible, though, so I’m not sure Nancy would believe me, and I really don’t like lying to her.
As if she can read my indecision, she says gently, “You can tell me.”
It feels like an opportunity. It’s been frustrating to be so excited about seeing Hutch, Christian, Mace, and Zipper, and not tell anyone about it. After a moment's hesitation, my words rush out. “I’ve beenseeing the men who own the shop.”
“Seeing them?”
I nod.
“Them, as in plural?”
I nod again. “Yes, there are four of them.”
Nancy’s eyes bulge out comically, but I’m feeling too much pride, excitement, and nerves to find her expression funny. “You’re seeing four men,” she clarifies. “What does that mean exactly?” Before I can answer, her tone changes to grave concern. “Are they hurting you, Rose?”
Now I do smile, and almost laugh as I shake my head. “No, no, it’s nothing like that. They’re good men, and they treat me really well. We’ve just been having fun together.”
Nancy’s brow lifts in a steep arch, and I hurry to add, “We go for walks on the beach, we’ve sketched together, and cooked together. They’ve made dinner for me several times.” I try to list everything we’ve done together that wasn’t sexual, but the list doesn’t seem that long, and that surprises me, because I’ve spent a lot of time with them, and it doesn’t seem like we have sex constantly, though that is my favorite thing to do with them.
Nancy’s still looking scandalized, so I add, “We talk a lot. They care about my life, and I care about theirs.” My tattoo comes to mind, but I don’t want to mention that, because it feels too personal.
She’s silent for several seconds before she asks, “Where do you see this headed? Are you in some sort of relationship with them?”
That’s a good question. I turn my attention to the cups on the counter and adjust the stacks so they’re even. “I don’t know,” I tell her finally. “I don’t think so. We’re just enjoying each other’s company.”
Nancy gives me a long look, her eyes seeking to read more from the expression on my face. Her tone is quieter when she says, “I don’t think your brother will like this.”
I bite my bottom lip. “Please don’t tell him.” Maybe I shouldn’t have told Nancy. Her response hasn’t been good, and that tells me Patrick’s reaction will be even worse. I want things to be out in the open, but I don’t want to create problems.
“He worries about you, Rose, you know? He wants what’s best for you.”
“I know,” I tell her. And I believe that, but does he always know what’s best? I know my brother isn’t trying to hold me back, but it feels that way sometimes.
“I think it might be best if you cut things off with them,” Nancy says. “I had some relationships like that before I met your brother. Not with four men, of course, but with men who were only looking to have fun. I told myself I’d just have fun, but I got hurt every time. We women are built differently. It’s hard for our hearts not to get involved.”
She’s still scanning my face, and my thoughts must be written all over it. “You’re already feeling something for those men, aren’t you?”
My emotions feel much too close to the surface for me to do anything other than nod, and Nancy immediately wraps an arm around my shoulder. “I know these types of things are hard since you don’t have your mom around anymore, and I hope you’ll find some value in my advice. You need to protect yourself, Rose. I know you don’t have a lot of time for dating when you’re working so hard, but you’d be much better off spending your time looking for someone you can have a future with. One man, someone who wants a commitment, and who’s interested in more than just a physical relationship.”
I want to argue with her, but I have no idea what my argument would be. She’s not saying the men are bad, just that they’re not right for me, and I’ve known that all along, even though when I’m with them, things feel so right.
“If you continue down the path you’re headed,” Nancy says, “you’re going to get hurt, and I’d hate for that to happen to you, Rose.”
33
HUTCH
Zipper’s concerns about Rose are heavy on my mind as I clean my station. Today feels like it’s gone on for a couple of years. There was such a bright spot when Rose was here, immediately followed by the harsh realities Zipper made me face.
Much as I want to ignore everything he said, doing so would end up with Rose being hurt by the four of us, and I don’t want that.
I usually assess situations from different angles and plan for potential problems, but ever since I met Rose, I’ve had my head in the clouds. We’re not right for her, and continuing to see her would be very selfish. It makes sense that we couldn’t resist her in the beginning, but letting things go on for as long as they have has been irresponsible, and I’m angry at myself for being blinded to the potential repercussions.