Page 46 of Four Tattoos

35

ROSE

My shift at Club Red passes quickly, thanks to a few entertaining conversations with Callie. Her funny interpretations of the strippers’ dance moves are a great distraction from all of the heavy thoughts that have clouded my head after the conversation with Nancy and her warnings about heartbreak.

I decide to push those worries aside for the time being, and am actually in a good mood when I arrive home … until I find Patrick waiting up for me.

“Rose.” His serious tone preempts my greeting, and my stomach drops immediately. “We need to talk.”

I could tell him I’m tired, but there’s no point in delaying this conversation.Dammit.I should’ve known better than to tell Nancy what’s been going on, but maybe part of me knew she’d tell Patrick. Maybe it will be good to have things out in the open.

I take a seat on the couch and prepare for the lecture, and Patrick launches into it without delay.

“I know what’s been going on between you and the …men at the tattoo parlor.”

It’s clear he’s incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of me being involved with four men, and I feel bad about that. I can understand how the idea is hard to take in when you haven’t experienced anything like it before.

“You know that ever since Mom died, it’s been my responsibility to take care of you, and even though you’re older now, I still take that responsibility seriously. When I see you doing something dangerous, I need to step in.”

“Dangerous?” Sure, there’s the very real potential for heartbreak, as Nancy said, but I’d hardly put it under the heading of danger.

“Those men are using you, Rose. They’re toying with you, and once they’re done with you, they’ll throw you away.”

I get back on my feet, too angry to stay seated. Telling me not to see them is one thing; making rude assumptions about their motives is another. “How could you possibly know that, Patrick? Have you even met them? You don’t know them.”

“Yes, I’ve met them, and I know what men like them are like.”

“‘Men like them?’What’s that supposed to mean?” I know exactly what he means, of course, but now that I know them, I know how unfair it is for him to make assumptions based on how they look and what they do for work.

“They’re not right for you, Rose. You need to stop seeing them. I shudder to think of what Mom would say if she were here and knew you were messing around like that …with … four men. Maybe it’s been hard for you not having her around for guidance, but I’ve always tried to steer you right, and that’s what I intend to do now.”

Mom.Conveniently, I haven’t let myself think too much about how Mom would have reacted to my seeing the four tattoo artists. I like to think that she’d trust me and support my decisions … but maybe not. She didn’t have the best outlook on men, from what I recall. Not with the way our father left.

“They’re really good men,” I tell Patrick. “If you actually knew them—if you gave them a chance—you’d know that. They served our country in the military, they help other people in the community, and they treat me really well.”

Instead of being swayed by any of this, my brother looks disappointed in me. “Of course they treat you well, Rose. That’s what men do when they want sex from you.”

His words stab me right in the center of my chest. Is it true? Is that all they want?

No, I don’t believe it. “You’re judging them by their appearances. You’re making all kinds of assumptions about things you know nothing about.”

“I do know, Rose, and it’s not just appearances. What about their age? They’re obviously much older than you—older than me even, from the looks of them—and they’re at a completely different stage of life. If they haven’t been interested in getting into a serious relationship with other women by now, what makes you think they want something serious with you?”

I open my mouth to protest, but he cuts me off. “For god’s sake, Rose, open your eyes! You’re making a fool of yourself, and you’re headed for serious trouble.”

“You don’t know that, Patrick. You don’t know them, and you don’t even know me!”

I’m on the verge of tears, but I channel my frustration and fear into that one angry outburst, and then I take a deep breath and lower my tone. “I appreciate your care and concern, I really do. I appreciate everything you’ve done for me over the years, but I’m not an idiot. I’m aware that heartbreak is a possibility. My eyes are wide open, and I believe it’s worth risking my heart for people who are worth it.”

He stares back at me for the good part of a minute, and I think I’ve won some points, but when he finally speaks, he says, “I think you should keep living here for a while. It’s probably early enough that we can cancel the rental agreement.”

“I’m not going to be canceling the rental agreement. I’m moving out tomorrow as planned. Would you still like to help me move, or should I ask someone else?”

An image of Hutch, Zipper, Mace, and Christian marching in here and carrying out my bedroom furniture under Patrick’s protests makes me grimace. Right now, Patrick’s eyes are wide with surprise at the fact that I’m standing up to him, and I’m surprised, too.

I knew I felt strongly about the men, but I didn’t know how strong my feelings actually were until I was pushed. It’s clear to me now that I’m way past the point of protecting my heart, and I’m oddly okay with that.

“I’ll help you move,” Patrick mutters.

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