Page 28 of No Small Sin

If rolling my eyes was something I often did, I would have rolled them at Alec now. Instead, I scowled at him.

Law grunted from somewhere on the other side of the room. Surly bastard.

He never had much of anything to say about… anything. He and Alec were polar opposites and I often wondered how they’d become such close friends. They were as close to family as I had. Like brothers, even. But they seemed to have a sort of bond that went beyond what I was capable of forming with either of them.

Ijah spoke up, "The new girl has him all bent out of shape."

I kept my eyes glued to the screen, ignoring their ribbing.

“I’ve never seen someone watch porn so… clinically,” Alec noted.

I dragged my eyes away from the screen. “This does nothing for me,” I responded.

The thought of doing any of this with TK fucking did, though. I readjusted myself uncomfortably.

There was nothing anyone could say to make me feel apologetic about any of this. If anything, I felt a surge of something else: a slight elation at the thought of finally feeling this kind of lustful fixation.

Especially since that fixation was TK.

“I’m not sure watching this shit will actually help accomplish anything.” Ijah’s face was unreadable. “A lot of what you’re going to find on there won’t necessarily translate into a real-life situation.”

Alec guffawed. “Yeah. Come the fuck on, Beck. Like you’re actually going to find her stuck in a dryer somewhere.”

I glared at him out of the corner of my eye, unsure how to respond because I truly had no idea what the fuck he meant by that.

“Pause your shit for later,” Law interrupted. “We’ve got to get going. Alec can teach you some of the ways of the world in the car.” He clapped his friend on the shoulder and headed back toward the door.

I obliged reluctantly. I wasn’t sure how I would focus on any other thing with these thoughts weighing so heavily on my mind. But when Mattia called… It wasn't like I could take a sick day.

What could Alec say that would make me feel any more confident in my capabilities than I already did?

Even if I could learn to make her scream, could I meet her emotional needs in the long run? Was that something she’d need from me?

I wanted to try.

I had a feeling of warmth in my chest that was entirely foreign to me.

It felt… interesting.

To have their support in this, especially after spending so many years feeling like an outsider even in my own circle of friends who were near as fucked up as I was — maybe more so in some ways.

We piled into the SUV and settled in for a fairly long ride. Mattia’s cabin was further upstate, so it was about a two-hour drive.

I clicked my seatbelt into place and rested my head back against the seat.

Did I want Alec’s advice? Yeah, I could use it.

But I was also pretty uncertain about how seriously he’d take this because he didn’t take much of anything seriously at all. I hoped it wouldn’t be some kind of joke to him like everything else.

Ijah started the engine and pulled out onto the road, and it wasn’t long before Alec went right in on me. “Okay, first things first. Please for the love of all things holy, wrap that shit up. We do not need any little murder babies running around the restaurant.”

Law huffed in annoyance and Ijah chuckled from behind the wheel.

“Murder babies?” I asked incredulously.

He just looked at me seriously.

“I had a vasectomy years ago,” I told him.

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