"I know."
"Liv and Luca. Luca and Liv. Forever."
Forever.
I look at the framed photos of Luca and I that are scattered around my old bedroom: Luca and I on our first date; Luca and I at the beach; even Luca and I at my high school formal. I shake my fist at the slightly-faded couple in the photo. They mock me with their bright smiles and coordinated outfits. "Like Shakespeare... and Madam Magda said... 'always the wrong person gives you the right lesson in life.’"
"So, Luca isn't the man for you? He's supposed to teach you something instead? Is that what you're saying?"
"I don't know what I'm saying." My voice catches in my throat as I try to hold back a sob. "I swear to God, I don't know. Don't you see? Loving Luca is easy, it always has been. The problem is with me, I have so many different problems that I don't know where to begin."
"I totally second that statement."
"Shut up Rosie." I glare at my sister for a moment as she starts doing sit-ups beside me. "No, I mean it'sreallyme. Madam Magda was just the catalyst that I needed to stop and take control of my life and of who I want to be."
"And who is that?"
"I want to be the Olive who has awesome adventures and has breathtaking, passionate, never-to-be-replicated loves. I want to be the Olive that isn’t afraid of anything, she stands tall in the face of danger and howls at the moon."
"I think you should be the Olive that goes to the doctor and gets that stomach issue of yours sorted out. The howling should probably be checked as well."
I scowl at my sister. "Why is everything such a joke to you, Rosie? Can't you take anything seriously?"
Rosie shrugs with a rueful smile. "I'm just trying to lighten the moment."
"Well don’t, okay?" I turn my attention back to my cousin. "There's just so many things I want to do; places I want to explore; people I want to meet. And if I'm going to be totally honest, I don't know if I want to do any of those things with Luca."
"Luca would never hold you back from anything you want to do."
"I know that." I stand up and start pacing across the room. "Did you know that we were talking about having a baby?"
Ginny shook her head silently while Rosie just gaped at me.
"Do you want a baby, Liv?"
I ignore Ginny's question and keep barreling on. "Did you know that I've never dated anyone but Luca? I've never loved anyone but Luca, either. Never had that moment of bumping into a guy and wondering for just one crazy moment what it would be like to kiss him."
"Do you want to break up with Luca? Is that what you're saying?"
"Break up with him?”
Ginny sighs and speaks slower as though she’s talking to a child. “Did anyone actually say the words ‘its over’?”
“I vomited all over him. I'm pretty sure he took that as a break-up!"
"Because you vomited on him?"
"No, because it's clear that I'm a hot mess. Why would he wait around for me to get my shit together?"
"You're not making a lot of sense right now."
"I've always dreamed of exploring Verona on a Vespa."
"I just got whiplash with that change of direction."
"Did you know I've never travelled further than Byron Bay?"
"Yes you have. We did that family trip to Italy when I was three."