Page 61 of Pomegranates and Olive

Has hell frozen over and I missed the memo?

"I gave Deniz some advice a few weeks back but now I want to giveyoua little advice as well, cousin."

"I'm all ears."

"You've been moping around for the past few weeks."

"I haven't been moping, I've been healing."

Aricia leans over. "Burak says you look like someone has stolen your puppy."

"What did you tell him?"

"I told him you were missing Luca."

"Nicely done, Aricia." I tap my glass against hers before turning to Ginny smugly. "See? Ari's got my back!"

"You're a little messed up right now, and I support that, but don't you think it's time to make some decisions about what you want to do with your life? Because you are missing out on someone pretty amazing. Are you in love with him?"

"Are you talking about Luca? No, I'm not."

"I meant Deniz."

"Deniz! No! Deniz is the kind of mistake you only make three... four... times tops!"

A rush of emotion for Deniz forces my heart to thud hard for a few beats. I've never really allowed myself to examine my feelings for him, because if I let myself have feelings, then those feelings might turn into something else and I'm certain that loving Deniz would be like buying a one-way ticket on the Heartbreak Express. No, I cannot lose my heart to a man who is so broken, so incapable of giving me his heart. But damn it, I can recognise my feelings for him are growing stronger the more time I spend with him, no matter how objectionable his actions are on occasion. I chance a glance in his direction. My heart thuds a few more hard beats. Feelings. Yup. They’re there, alright. Even if he has been avoiding me lately.

I look back across the terrace but he’s no longer at his table. My eyes flick around the room in an attempt to locate him. It’s crowded and people are now dancing on the dance floor. Oh, wait! There he is.

Deniz is in a somewhat heated conversation with another man. I can’t hear what they are saying over the crowd (and I'm certain I wouldn't understand what they were saying anyway) but everything about the way that he’s standing tells me there’s something wrong. The other man, possibly Turkish, with thick eyebrows and an angry glare, is definitely the aggressor, but I can see that Deniz is not backing down as they argue back and forth.

At that moment, he looks over and his eyes lock with mine. A ghost of a smile touches his lips as he leans forward, intent on watching me. I want to look away but I can’t. I poke my tongue out at him before turning back to Ginny. "I'm not in love with Yilmaz. It's just a game. It's a little slap and tickle and it's fun but it's nothing serious. Anyway, after Luca..." I take a sip of my pink bubbly cocktail which gives me a moment to think. "... it's just not something that I can deal with right now."

"I don't know what the hell happened between the two of you, but you need to give Deniz a break."

"He insulted me... or maybe I insulted him, I can't really say for sure!" Ginny's scathing look immediately shuts me up, but I still can't help folding my arms in defiance as I mumble at her. "Anyway, it doesn't even matter."

"Well it mattered to him because he's leaving after the harvest."

"Lo me ne fotto."

"Don't tell me you don't —" Ginny leans in closer to me, "— give a fuck because you clearly do. You hurt his feelings! If you want to clear the air, you'd better go do something about it."

Deniz is leaving?

"He said he would leave unless he had a reason to stay." I tried to swallow the lump in my throat, but it won't go away. "I can't be that reason."

"You're the reason he's leaving, you dimwit!"

I frown to myself.

Have I really hurt his feelings? The great Deniz Yilmaz? A man who can have anyone he chooses. Surely I don’t have that kind of power.

I admit I didn’t expect to have any feelings for Deniz, but when I look at him, I can’t help but feel something… and if I’m honest with myself that scares me.

I mean, can these feelings that I have even be trusted?

Is it just a holiday fling or is it something more, something real?

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