Page 67 of Pomegranates and Olive

"Jesus, Luca, a project isn’t going to fix this. And it won't fix us. I know I messed up and I'm sorry for how I just left, truly I am. I never meant to hurt you. But I just don't know anymore. I don't know what I want. And it's not that I don't love you, because I do, and I probably always will, but things have changed for me."

"Yes, I can see that." Luca cocks his head to one side and looks me up and down, his eyes glazing over. "What's his name?"

I have to avert my gaze because the look of anguish on his face nearly breaks me. I despise myself as I choke back a sob. "Luca, you were my first everything, the first man I ever loved, the first man I ever kissed, the first man I ever made love to —"

"But not the last."

"Luca!"

His voice takes on an edge that I've never heard before. "Don't deny it! I can smell it on you."

Mannaggia, che guaio!

I really want this night to be over. I want it all to be over. I want to fall in my bed, and when I wake, I want to find out this has all been a horrible dream. I need to talk to Ginger. She's the one with all the excellent advice. I need to apologise to Deniz for losing my temper... again. And I bloody well need to have a long talk with Rosie and find out just what the fuck she's playing at turning up here without a warning.

The tears I’ve been holding back roll down my face now, and I rummage through my purse for a tissue and blow my nose. "I don't want to talk to you about that."

"Alright, maybe we should start with something a little easier then; can you tell me what was missing from your life that I couldn't give you, that you had to run away from?"

I wail and throw my arms up in the air in a gesture of total defeat.

An orgasm to start with.

"Is it because you don't come?"

Dear God, he can read minds now!

My eyes dry in an instant and I cover my face in utter embarrassment. "No!"

"Come on, Liv, you think I didn't know? Meg Ryan does a more realistic job of faking an orgasm than you've ever done."

My mouth turns up into a smile behind the safety of my hands. "You knew? All this time? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I think the question is why didn'tyoutellme?"

"How could I? I was too embarrassed."

"There's no reason to be embarrassed with the person you're supposed to love."

"So I've heard."

We both fall silent and stare at each other for a few minutes before he leans forward retaking my hand. "I want to propose something..."

"Propose?" I grin despite myself. "I don't know if my stomach could cope with that right now."

"God no, and I certainly don't want to be vomited on again." He chuckles as he opens his satchel on the seat beside him and pulls out airline tickets, handing them to me. "You wanted an adventure, so I've booked one for us to go on — together. Our flight to Verona leaves in three days."

Shit.

"Verona? In Italy?"

"Yes Verona in Italy, is there any other? We are going to find your family's ancestral home, OliveGiuliettaRusso. You always talked about wanting to do that, and now we're going to do it together."

Fuck.

"On a Vespa?"

"Of course, on a Vespa."

---