Page 7 of Pomegranates and Olive

Now that I think about it, he’s probably really only a seven out of ten, and while that’s a passing grade, it’s nothing to get your knickers in a twist about.

But as I sit on the floor of my childhood bedroom running down the list of Luca’s best attributes in my head I seriously have to wonder whether he’s actually the guy for me.

"I had been summoning up the courage to talk to him, but then he goes and ruins everything by proposing and I just —"

"Vomit on him?"

Ginny and I both yell at my sister. "Rosalia!"

"So how did you leave it with him?"

" I ran out of the restaurant and came here. He was furious when he telephoned last night, he said that I humiliated—"

At that moment, my mother walks in without even bothering to knock. All three of us ignore her until she huffs loudly. "Why are you sitting on the floor? Who are you two girls talking to?" She looks over my shoulder to the computer screen. "Ginger Valentina? Is that you?"

Ginny waves at the screen. "Ciao, Zia Sofia."

"Did Olive tell you what she did to poor Luca." No pleasantries. Straight to the point. That's my mother. "She broke that boy's heart. His mother is very upset."

Full disclosure: my mother adores Luca, actually no, she adores his entire family. The Oriati’s are very well connected in the Italian community and the idea of being part of that family makes my mother more than a little giddy.

"Okay,mamma. We're trying to talk."

"You mark my words. He will not wait for you. A man that looks like that Luca, he will have girls lined up at his front door."

"Si, mamma."

We all sat silently, Rosalia and I on my bedroom floor in our family home and Ginny on her terrace overlooking the sea in Bodrum, Turkey, waiting for my mother to leave the room. She glares at the screen again. "And when you are coming home, Ginger Valentina? Isn't it time for your little holiday to come to an end?"

"Zia, I live here now, you know this."

"No, I do not knowthis, and I do not know this man you are running around with, either."

"I promiseZiawe will visit soon, and when you meet him, you will love him."

"I do not need to meet him, Ginger Valentina. You think I don't know what it's like to be young and on holiday. Sun, sea and sex. I watched Mama Mia!"

"That was Greece, Zia. Aydin and I live in Turkey."

"You think that makes this any better? Look what happened to Meryl. Not married! A baby! This will be you! What would your poor mother say?"

"Well, seeing as she hasn't been in my life for 20-something years, I don't think she gets a say?"

Mamma ignores the shade thrown by Ginger towards her sister, the fabulous Giulietta. Giulietta had walked out on her family when Ginger was five, leaving Ginger and her sister to be raised by their father alone. Giulietta got re-married less than a year later and now lives in London. I’ve often wondered whether Ginny ever caught up with her while she was there, but I guess she would've told me if she'd wanted to.

Mamma glares from the computer screen, to me and finally, to my sister. "You are all great disappointments to the family."

And with that insult, my mother retreats, slamming the door as she goes.

Rosie snorts. "Now she's lumping me in with you two? And I don't even have a guy!"

"Probably because you spend all your time gold-medal masturbating to Zac Efron!"

Ginny snorts at my joke as Rosie throws a pillow across the room at me.

"I'm a disappointment to my family. I have no bloody clue what I'm going to do!"

"So come here!"

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