“Finn, I love you like a brother, but if you don’t move out of my way within the next two seconds… I’m going to smash your face with my fist. Move.”
He hesitates, but steps aside. “Bring her home.”
I’m already halfway to my car when I realize I don’t even have a shirt on.Fuck it.I have plenty at the safe house. The leather against my skin is chilly, but that’s the last thing I’m thinking about. Other thoughts invade my mind as I try to understand everything.
Why is she back? Is she okay? Does she need money? Is she hurt? Did she find someone else?
Shaking off that last thought, I roll my shoulders back. She wouldn’t ever consider bringing someone else to our spot. She wouldn’t do that to me, to us. That would be like taking our history and throwing it in the trash. She may not want us together right now for her own healing, but that would be detrimental to our relationship. Even so, she knows what she means to me.
The last nine months I have gone crazy trying to find her. The moment she walked away from me, I felt my entire world collapse. Finn has been doing a great job of handling the repercussions of my father taking over the weapon business, while also keeping my dumbass sane. Finn has been extremely understanding during this whole thing, but if I can get Natalia to just come home with me… I’d be a whole new man.
Pulling into the parking lot, I take a deep breath as my eyes fall upon the familiar gunmetal BMW 7 Series Sedan sitting in one of the empty spaces. My stomach instantly knots up and sweat coats my palms. I rub my hands together to try and relieve the sticky feeling. My breathing starts to come heavy, but I work my hardest to keep it steady and calm.
After finally convincing myself that she isn’t going to kill me, I climb out of my Jaguar. Making my way down the beaten stone path, I run through all the things I want to say to her. All the ways I want to apologize, tell her how much I love her, and how I want to keep our marriage together no matter the cost. I want her to understand that she’s not just my world, she’s my universe.
Pulling the house key out of my pocket, I unlock the door. Knocking our special knock, I swing it open. I’m half expecting her to be waiting on the other side with a gun aimed between my eyes. When I open it fully, I’m surprised to find her sitting on the couch with a bottle of vodka in hand.
“It’s a little early to be drinking, don’t you think?” I ask as I round the corner of the couch, coming face to face with the woman I have chased all over this damn continent.
“It’s almost ten p.m. in Australia,” she counters with a slur, taking another drink from the bottle. “How did you even know I was here?”
“You honestly think Finn didn’t have alerts set up for any cell phone activity around the safe house?” I raise an eyebrow, sitting beside her on the sectional.
“I’m not exactly firing on all cylinders this morning, Declan.” She holds up the half empty bottle and points to it with a shaky hand before looking down at the phone in her lap again. My eyes follow hers to look at the device, but the screen is blank.
We sit in silence for a few moments while I try to work up the nerve to sayanythingto her. All I want to do is reach out to her, touch her, comfort her, dosomethingto help her.
“Nat…” I turn to face her and find that she is already looking at me. The look on her face breaks my heart. Tears are welling in her eyes, her lip is quivering, her hands are visibly shaking. “What is it?”
Her eyes shift to the phone once more, and my gaze follows hers again. Unlocking the phone, she looks away from it, puts the bottle to her lips with her other hand, and she reaches the phone to me.
Looking down at the screen, I furrow my brow in confusion as I look at the grainy black and white photo in front of me. An ultrasound?What?
“Natalia. I really need you to explain,” I plead, putting the phone down on the cushion between us and giving her my full attention. When she doesn’t look at me, I reach over and take the bottle of liquor from her trembling hands. The bottle is nearly empty, but sloshes around anyway. She doesn’t protest my actions, but some of her tears manage to spill over onto her cheeks. She stays silent for a few more moments, different emotions passing through her eyes. Sadness, emptiness, loneliness…
“Remember when I said that getting pregnant and staying pregnant would be difficult?” She asks, and I nod. “Well, two weeks after I left… I found out I was pregnant.” Her voice breaks and my stomach drops to the floor. My heart twists painfully in my chest.
“We have a baby?” I ask looking back toward the bedroom, a small glimmer of hope coursing through me. This doesn't make sense, when I found her two months ago she was alone and definitely wasn't showing. Then a realization dawns on me.
The phone call.
“Had,” She corrects. The sadness in her voice is palpable, the pain evident in her tone.
“Had,” I mumble, looking back down at the photo. The small sliver of hope I had just vanished. “What happened?”
“The doctor said it was the scar tissue from my gunshot wound combined with the stress,” she answers, looking back over at me with quivering lips. “My body was supposed to keep it safe. I was supposed to be the one to protect it. That baby is meant to be safe,” she whimpers.
“Nat, it’s not your fault,” I assure her, hesitantly reaching for her hand. To my surprise she doesn’t jerk away. I encase her small palm between my own, keeping a firm grip. Without words, I want to reassure her that I’m here to be her strength. I’m here to be her rock.
“I know it isn’t…" her voice is low, her words trembling. "I also know it isn’t yours. Even though I tried to blame you for the longest time. I tried so hard to make you the source of my destruction. I tried…” I squeeze her hand gently, and she gives me a sad smile. Tears stain her cheeks, her nose running without end. No matter the look, she’s still the most beautiful woman I know.
“I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you. I’m sorry for everything, Natalia. I know apologies can’t bring anyone back from the dead, and I know that it doesn’t excuse my actions… I just thought I was doing what was best for you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. You have and always will be my main source of comfort, my biggest source of pride. I knew when we met at the safe house we were meant to reunite. I’m so sorry for everything." I rub the back of her hand with my thumb, squeezing gently..
"Please… just come home, Nat.Please." I know I sound pathetic with my petulant begging, but I'll do whatever it takes to get her back in my life. I will doanything.
"Declan. I love you more than anything in this world, and I want nothing more than to come home…" she trails off, gently pulling her hand away. Looking at her eyes, I can see the brick wall being built back up almost immediately. Watching her pull herself away from me is a dagger to the stomach.
"But?" I prompt, praying that it may be a good one. It’s never a good one.