Page 22 of Mended Oath

“Hello,moy malen’kiy voin.”

Hello, my little warrior.

I stop dead in my tracks and slowly turn to put a face to the voice with my eyes bulging from my head.I haven’t heard those words since I was eighteen, back when I lost the greatest person in my life.

“Dmitri?” The room spins rapidly, and I reach out to steady myself, stumbling into the wall. My head gets light in a dream-like state. All I can do is stare. Declan is instantly by my side, pulling me into him to help steady myself, rubbing a soothing hand on my hip. “How is this possible?” I ask brokenly, my voice is barely a whisper. Sharp sobs threaten to escape me, but are choked down by the air catching in my throat.

I look up at Declan in shock, but he’s smiling down at me nervously, trying not to appear stressed about the situation. “This is the very last secret I have. I found out a month after you left… the day you called me,” he explains, trying to help me process everything. “I needed you to come home before I dropped this on you. I didn’t want to keep this secret… but I had to. You were already struggling, and trying to convince you that your brother was alive was like beating a dead man.”

Even if I wanted to be mad at him, I couldn’t be. My brother is alive, standing right in the flesh.

Slipping out of Declan’s embrace, I sprint across the room and straight into his open arms. Tears spill from my eyes, streaking down my cheeks as I breathe in the blue cypress, vetiver, and coastal air. His strong arms wrap me in a tight embrace, and I sob into his chest. Years of terror, agony, and grief flood my body as I let myself go. Standing like this for who knows how long, Dmitri just coos words of encouragement in my ear. Rubbing my back gently, he soothes me with calming squeezes in his warming embrace. The years that I had to endure because he was gone… my mind is jumbled full of confusing thoughts as I finally process that he’s really here.

“I thought you weredead. How are you here? Why are you here? How did this even happen? I have so many questions.” I can’t stop the words falling out of my mouth, word vomit coming to life. It’s been almost five years since I’ve seen him, and I still can’t believe he’s here, even as I feel his warmth under my arms. “I watched them bury you. I watched them sink your beaten body into the ground!”

“No, you watched them bury an empty casket,” he corrects me, tugging my hair in a brotherly manner. “My injuries were a little worse than Eric had anticipated, but he was able to fix me up with no issues. In order to let my body heal on its own, they decided that a medically induced coma would help a lot more than keeping me awake. Which I am definitely thankful for now,” he tries to joke, but I’m not in a joking mood. Clearing his throat, he continues. “It was only a week, but mom and dad thought that it would be best to go ahead with a funeral and hide me away until we figured out who was behind this. They were trying to get everything taken care of to avoid putting anyone else in danger.”

“Why did no one think to fill me in on this?” I demand, stepping out of his embrace and going over to the couch to sit down. My head is still reeling with the fact that I was the only one who didn’t know. How could they leave me out of this?

“Natalia, I know you’re not that dumb. Think about it,” he chides, and I sigh knowingly. I’m not stupid, but this is making me irritated.

“So no one could fish for information,” I grumble out and cross my arms as I lean back against the couch. “I get it… I still could’ve been told. I went through rigorous training. I’m actually pretty pissed that I was left out of everything knowing that I won’t blow the whistle no matter the damage.”

“We know that, but it wasn’t worth the risk. They were going to tell you when you got back from your trip.” Dmitri comes to sit beside me, and the familiar pain in my heart begins to creep in again. The slight burn of deception settles itself into the pit of my stomach.

“I shouldn’t have gone on that trip.” Looking down at my hands, I sigh. “I know that our father put me through hell and back… but we had just started to make amends.”

Dmitri reaches over and places his hand on mine, cupping them tenderly. “He sounded so happy about that, too.”

“I needed you and you left me.” The emotion is thick in my voice as I stand, looking down at my brother with resentment. “Did you know he shot me? Do you know the shit that he put me through? The pain and suffering I had to endure because I thought you were dead!” I ridicule with a raised eyebrow. The shock is beginning to wear off and all the emotions are starting to run through me.

“I know, Natalia. I had to go through the same things,” he reminds me, his voice full of sarcasm as if it were funny. It isn’t fucking funny.

“I shouldn’t have had to go through it. You werealive. I went through that training under the impression that I would be taking over, to keep myself upright and breathing. I really think I got the short end of the stick in this scenario. Why couldn’t he have used more resources to figure out who tortured you? I grieved for years… Declan picked me up off the floor so many times. I couldn’t even function because the one thing in my life that kept me sane had died. Or, at least I thought he had died. He just abandoned me, instead.” Apparently, anger has chosen to break through next.

“Nat…” Declan takes a step closer to me, and I glare at him. Holding up my hand to stop him, I shake my head.

“Don’t. You’re not exactly on the best terms with me either. How did you anticipate for me to react? Happy that you’ve risen from the dead? Good for you! Because of the abandonment, our father shot me right where reproduction can’t happen. So, thank you so much for walking out of my life for over 5 years! At least you gave me a spot to think I was comforting a corpse. Screw family, am I right? I’ll never be able to have one of my own now, and I truly think you’re partially to blame. Walking away as if I were nothing for you when you were everything for me.” Dmitri removes his hand, running both through his deep brown hair. Tugging at the strands, a pained look crosses his face.

“Natalia. Do you know how much willpower it took for me not to contact you? You are my baby sister. It killed me to keep this secret from you. I didn’t want to pretend to be dead, but we weren’t sure how deep a fissure ran in the ranks. It wasn’t until your husband decided to out the man himself. I didn’t have any control over it. I didn’t want to die twice. I was hoping that you’d be mature enough to respect that decision.”

Standing abruptly, I turn to him with a sharp glare. “Where’s your bathroom? I need a minute.”

He points to the second door across the room wordlessly, and I mutter a thank you while I stomp over to it. Throwing open the door, I slam it behind me once inside, rattling the mirror and glass fixtures. Coming to a stop in front of the sink, I turn on the water and wait for it to get as cold as possible, resting my hands on the edges. As I stare at my reflection, my mind is racing, trying to process everything that has happened in the last twelve hours.

My brother is alive.My brother is alive.The realization of everything still hasn’t fully sunk in yet. Who knows what types of avenues my parents had to take to keep Dmitri under wraps. Secret bunker in his own warehouse is a pretty big risk, but the biggest fear I have currently is losing him again. The reflection staring back at me through the mirror is one of sadness. She returns my sad look with empty eyes, sunken cheeks, and grayed features. She doesn’t look like the girl they once knew.

With a shake of my head, I splash water on my face and gently pat my cheeks to bring color back to them. I give myself one last look before exiting the bathroom, my footfalls much quieter than they were when I stormed out earlier. Both men are sitting on the couch, talking. They turn to look at me with matching worried expressions as I approach them. Worry is an expression on everyone's face lately, and I’m done with it.

“Stop looking at me like I’m some porcelain doll that’s going to break at any second,” I snap, losing my cool once again. “I just found out that my brother, who I thought was dead forfive fucking years, is actually alive. Yesterday, my baby should have been born to a loving mother who would have conquered the world for them. My marriage is in shambles because my husband decided that I wasn’t worthy enough for honesty. My parents are dead because of said dishonesty. So, just because I have a few good reasons to crumble, doesn’t mean I’m going to. So, quit looking at me as if I’m going to break any second. If I implode, I’m going to explode like a bomb that you shouldn’t even be near.”

Dmitri’s eyebrows shoot up, and he flickers between Declan and I. “You were pregnant?” He asks, stumped on that one topic. Muttering a few curses, I pinch the bridge of my nose.

“I assume Declan has told you about the last nine months, correct?. How I left, disappeared for a while, and everything that happened with his dad?” I question, and he nods silently. “So, you understand the immense emotional distress that I was under at that point. Well, two weeks after I left I found out I was pregnant. Then, I lost the baby two weeks after that. It’s been a pleasure, really. Having everything I once loved ripped from my arms so fast. Surely you can understand my distaste for this reunion.” Dmitri just keeps the look of shock written on his face before a somber one replaces it. I know exactly what he is about to say.

“I’m so-” Dmitri begins, but I cut him off without letting him finish that god awful sentence.

“Don’t apologize. I don’t want your pity.” I lift my chin and sit down across from them on the other couch. “I’m a big girl. I went through hell and back, now I’m done. I don’t want your sorry excuse of reasons that you’re going to try and provide. I’m over it.” The two exchange a look, and I cross my arms over my chest, finally taking a seat against the couch. There’s so much I want to say to him, but I can’t seem to find the words. The anger and betrayal lies deep within me, but I don’t know how else to express my underlying resentment.