“What are we going to do about Rian?” I quickly change the subject, not wanting to spend another moment talking about my loss. “I want to come out of hiding and return home with my husband.”
“I don’t know yet. He is a hard man to get alone, so we are going to have to be strategic.” Declan leans back in his chair, fiddling with his watch. Dmitri just nods along, playing with his own hands.
“We also have a secret weapon that he will definitely not expect,” I nod toward Dmitri, who has a half smile on his face. The bastard is ready to take action, just like me.
“I can’t wait to see the look on that bastard's face when I come out of hiding.” Dmitri reclines back against the couch. As he does so, he rubs his forehead and it’s only now that I notice the light glinting off a black ring on his right ring finger.A ring.“Uh, what the hell is that?” I demand as I stand and march over to him. Forcefully pulling his hand up, I examine the band. Noticing the engraving, a name drawn in cursive is on the outside. “You’re married?”
“Well, I wasn’t going to be like ‘hey sis, I know you’re in shock about me coming back from the dead. I’m super happy to see you. Oh, why don’t you meet my family.’ How rude would that be?” He raises an eyebrow and pulls his hand away from me, tucking it into his pocket.
“Your family? Plural?” I question, the hurt that I felt before begins to creep back in, creating black fissures in my chest.
“Yes. Family. I have a wife and a set of twin girls, Harlow and Sutton,” he clarifies with a sad smile. “I left them back in Arkansas, or I would formally introduce you.” He has a whole family, and I didn’t even know he was alive. He didn’t even have the courtesy to let me know he was alive. He went and got married, having kids… the one thing that my life is lacking.Happiness.
“Arkansas,” I repeat, dropping my gaze to the floor when he mentions the twins. The rot that sets in my heart seems to spread at a rapid rate with his declaration. “You mean to tell me that you disappeared with mom and dad’s knowledge, got married, had twins… all while I thought you were dead? You abandoned me to fulfill your dream of having a normal life? It’s you who should have not been able to have kids! Because of you, I can’t have a family of my own! Did you get the white picket fence dream you wanted? Now that you got to play house for the last five years, you thought ‘oh, let me check in on my baby sister who may or may not be dead’? Think about the fact that I’ve trained so hard for years, just to get everything ripped away? I bet you laughed when you heard.
“You probably play darts with my photo, right? You have no fucking respect for this organization, or me. I spent the last five years mourning someone who lived, all because you thought I was too weak to keep a secret. It appears that is something you and Declan both have in common, though. I think you’d have been better off staying dead, even if it was fake.”
“Natalia Raisa, how dare you! I didn’t just go and knock someone up without the thought that I’d be back! How dare you put that on my family. I thought you of all people would know that I’d be back for you. There were so many different things that needed to be hashed out before I could come back from the dead. We trusted you more than anything, that’s why we were working on you taking over. I had no intention of taking anything back when I did return. I can’t believe that you’d think so low of me…” His yell turns into a whisper at the end, his face breaking apart in agony. The only thing I can feel while staring at the man who was once my savior is disgust. He moves to reach for my hand but stops himself as I stand, running my hands along my pant legs to smooth them down.
“Maybe we should go. It’s been a long day,” I state sharply, looking at Declan without glancing at the guy I once knew.
“Nat… please don’t go yet.” Dmitri stands and steps closer, remorse covering his features. “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just… it was a long and lonely time without my family, limited contact. I need you to understand that.”
“No, it’s fine. I understand perfectly fine… I’m partially sorry for my outburst. I just… need some time to process this. It’s a lot to overcome. While I’d love to stay and chat, I need to think. The anger and resentment I feel isn’t going to leave anytime soon, so we will see.” He takes small steps toward me, a desperate plea on his face. When I don’t step away from him, he pulls me in for a tight hug. I want to let myself relax into his embrace, but I can’t fully let go. I close my eyes and allow a silent tear fall before straightening and gathering my composure.
“Will you come back tomorrow?” He asks hopefully.
“We’ll see. Don’t count on it.” I nod to him and give him a tight lipped smile before sliding my hand into Declan’s. He places a gentle kiss on my knuckles, quickly says his goodbyes and we exit the room.
Once inside the car, I keep my gaze straight ahead as I stare out the windshield after buckling my seatbelt. Forced emotions swirl around in my mind, trying their hardest to break from my eyes in the form of tears. I can feel Declan’s eyes on me as if he’s waiting for me to break down. I do my best to ignore his silent stares, keeping my focus on the dirt particles covering the windshield.
After a few moments, it’s clear that I’m not going to speak. He sighs and starts the car before beginning the drive home. We’re halfway home before he finally clears his throat and glances over at me.
“Are you okay?” He asks softly, reaching over and placing his hand on my thigh. It takes everything in me not to shove his palm away from me, but I keep my hands folded tightly.
“I just found out that my brother, whom I thought was dead forfiveyears, is actually alive with a whole fucking family. The pure reason I wanted to be dead for five years just came back from his grave.” I snap at him, sending a sharp glare his way for a moment before turning back to the bug splatters on the front. “Do youthinkI’m okay? Does that sound like something an emotionally stable person would beokaywith?”
“I understand,” he tries, keeping his voice gentle. I want nothing more than to grab the steering wheel and send us flying into a tree to wrap around. The overwhelming grief that covers my soul is turning my heart to stone.
“You don’t understand, Declan. You never will.” I retort, keeping my gaze straight ahead.
“Don’t do this,” he mumbles, squeezing my thigh in a silent plea.
“Do what?” I turn my body to face him, brow raised.
“Don’t push me away again,” he sighs tiredly.
Turning my body away so that my thigh slips out from under his grip, I send a searing glare at him. “I’m not. I just want to go home. This shit show needs to end.”
He mutters something under his breath that I can’t understand, and I’m too emotionally drained to bother trying to figure it out or asking him. The last twenty-four hours have been such a shock that my emotions have shut down completely. Small trembles in my hands and the chill covering my body only emphasize the emotional turmoil I feel inside of me. The shock is starting to take over my body with all that I have endured today, and I just can’t be with anyone during it. I’m not weak, and I refuse to be viewed as such.
Arriving back at the safe house, I turn back to look at Declan. “You can go back to your house.”
“It’sourhome,” he corrects me. “But, I’m not leaving you. You need me right now.”
“Yes, you are leaving. I am perfectly fine.” I give him a pointed look. Although I hope that look is harsh, I can feel myself slipping away.
“No,” he states firmly, holding his ground.