Because if they’re quiet, that means they’ll listen.
“Lust is a feeling, and who’s to say what’s wrong or right? It always wins, no matter how hard we fight.”
* * *
I can’t liftmy head, but I know it’s Zoey’s neck I’ve got my arm over. Her own wrapped tightly around my waist as she leads me to our apartment.
“Gray is the color of my battered heart,” she says in an over-emphasized Shakespearean tone.
Alex follows it up in much the same way with, “A stormy sea… Wait- What was it?”
She and Zoey cry out together: “...that can’t be captured by any art.”
“Fuck off,” I mumble as they both descend into another fit of uncontrollable laughter.
They’d been ragging me the whole way home, even filling in the Uber driver about my humiliating foray into slam poetry. I don’t know what came over me. I didn’t feel it while I was up there, but have not stopped cringing since I stepped off that stage. Most of what I said is a blur, but the memory of people’s stunned faces is crystal clear. They didn’t even applaud. I don’t think they knew how after what I put them through.
“Oooh, what’s this?” Alex disappears from my line of sight as she bends down at our front door.
When she straightens, she’s holding a huge bouquet of roses. More than a dozen, I can see that even through my tequila dream state.
“There’s a card.” Zoey’s reflexes are better than Alex’s and she plucks it from the bunch. “It’s for you, Cara.”
This gets my attention. There’s only one person who would send me something like this. Swaying a little on my feet, I make to take the card from Zoey but she snatches it out of my reach. Her sudden action causes me to slump over and I lean against our front door. Still closed. We’re all too distracted by the secret delivery to care about going inside just yet.
“Born for the spotlight,” Zoey reads, her eyebrows pulled up in a deep frown. She flips the card over and back again. “That’s all it says. No name.”
I don’t need one. My stomach flips at the thought of Edward writing out that card. He hasn’t forgotten about me or what we did in that lighting room. But just as quickly as that feeling of satisfaction comes over me, I push it down.
There’s no way I can let it happen again, and I’m going to tell him that. As soon as I get inside and get my phone back.
10
Edward
It’s Saturday night and Suave is pumping, but you’d never guess it in the VIP backroom where we’re sitting. The usual suspects gathered around the poker table, shooting the shit. Just what the doctor ordered after my disastrous meeting with my father yesterday.
“Cheer up, pretty boy.” Robert throws another thousand into the pot. “You’ll bounce back in a couple of hands.”
He shares a look with the others and they snigger like a gaggle of high-schoolers. It doesn’t help my mood, and I bite back the simmering annoyance in my chest. I’m supposed to be relaxing, not getting even more wound up.
“Does Millie know you’re pissing away her college fund, Papa Bear?” I call his bet and raise another thousand.
Zachary sucks in a breath between his teeth. He’s up next and isn’t drunk enough to be the arrogant fucker we’re used to. What’s more, he’s taken a beating the last few hands.
“Leave my daughter out of the club, please,” Robert deadpans, glancing at his cards and then back to the table. “This is about you and your third grade poker face.”
I snort with laughter. It’s not real but then again, when is it ever? “You’re getting me mixed up with Husband of the Year,” I waggle my eyebrows at Ethan.
He takes it in his stride, and says, “You guys are just jealous that I snagged the last good one.”
“Good for what? Fold.” Zach tosses his cards onto the table, looking disappointed. “I have a cleaner, a chef, and a different girl sitting in my lap when I need it. I’ll be damned if I tie myself into potential alimony for life just to get all that from one single person.”
“You’re folding on 7k?” Ethan frowns at him. “You just made that amount while I asked the question, what is wrong with you? Play the game.” He tosses back a few pretzels, and adds, “And leave my wife out of the club, please.”
We all laugh at his weak impersonation of Robert, including the man himself.
Zach shrugs. “It’s no fun if you feel like you can’t lose.”