Page 23 of The Man I Once Hated

“Aaaggghhhh… make it stop!” I clutch my pillow even tighter over my head and wish for my bed to swallow me up into oblivion.

My phone hasn’t stopped pinging since the news broke. I turned it on silent and finished my shift at Suave with as much professionalism as I could muster. But the second I got home, I turned my notifications back on and broke down. Mostly because of the look on Alex and Zoey’s faces when I walked in. They’re both pretty active on Twitter.

I spilled my guts to them, sometimes crying, sometimes seething with anger, mostly mortified that the whole world knew this about me. Knew that I slept with Edward, but mistakenly believed I did it for a job on some crappy alien movie.

They were both sitting on my bed now, taking turns to field and filter the flood of messages coming through.

“Do you know a ‘Carey Cook’ from high school?” Alex asks. “She wants to meet for lunch and catch up.”

I groan my response and hear Zoey whispering something to her in a terse tone. Then her hand is on my back, rubbing it gently. Reassuringly.

“This’ll blow over in a day, Cara,” Zoey says. “You know how it goes. Nothing lasts on the internet.”

I rip the pillow from my head and glower at her. “I have a chemistry read in the morning, Zo. All of this is going to be fresh in everyone’s minds when I get there. How am I supposed to do it?”

Zoey shrugs. “Don’t.”

“Wh- what?” I splutter through my tears.

“Don’t do the read,” she repeats. “Screw Edward Spencer and his movie and move on. Chalk it up to experience.”

A shaky breath flutters out of me as I consider her take. It’s not totally insane. I’ll be saving myself further humiliation if I just blow the whole thing off. Forget about it all and fade into obscurity. Because I can never work in Hollywood, that’s for sure. Every time I go up for a role this story will follow me there. I’ll forever be the woman who sleeps her way into work.

“I can’t.” I pull up to sit, a fresh determination taking over. It’s either that or stubbornness. “I have to do this or the theater is sunk.”

“No, Cara, you don’t,” Zoey shakes her head vehemently. “Nothing like this. Not even for the theater.”

“We can find another way,” Alex adds in a hopeful tone. “If you keep playing his game, then he wins.”

“There is no other way, Alex. That’s how Edward planned it.” I don’t know how else to spell it out for them.

They don’t get it. Edward has orchestrated things so that I don’t have a choice but to finish this stupid game of his. He knows I could never abandon the community kids who depend on the theater. We’ve been trying to raise funds forever and this is the closest we’ve ever gotten to saving it.

He knew from the jump that the only way for me to win, is if I let him win too.

“I don’t have a choice,” I say, steeling myself against the onslaught I was volunteering to walk into.

From my roommates, from the outside world, all of it. I was nothing if not a consummate professional. And I’ve been preparing for a life in the spotlight since I was a kid. I knew back then it wasn’t always going to be sunshine and daisies. I was ready.

“How do you think it got out?” Alex asks then.

It’s the question that’s been bothering me all night. “I have no idea. The same way any of this stuff gets out, I guess.”

“And Mr. Lover Boy is probably enjoying every last drop of it.” Zoey doesn’t try to hide her consternation with Edward and I can’t blame her.

She’s also mad at me for keeping it from her to begin with. But right now, we just don’t have the luxury of getting caught up in any of that. I’m grateful that she gets that, and is focused on just being here for me. So if she wants to take passive aggressive jabs at Edward when she gets the chance, I’m not going to stop her.

“I’ll come with you,” she says. “To the chemistry read tomorrow.”

She knows he’s on the audition panel and in true Zoey fashion, has appointed herself as my protector. An image of her in a stand-off with Edward, in much the same way it went down with Trucker Guy at Alex’s gig, pops into my head and I can’t help but smile.

“It’s okay,” I reply. “If this works out, I’m going to have to get used to seeing a lot more of Edward. I need to be able to deal with that myself. But thank you.”

I reach for her hand and give it a squeeze. Zoey nods but I can tell she’s disappointed. She’s hankering for a face-off with Edward and knowing her, she’ll get it one way or another.

* * *

I barely slept,didn’t eat, felt like shit making my way to the chemistry read. All to make sure I got there early. To establish my dominance or whatever, before the place started filling up. But despite all that, the reading room is packed when I walk in.

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