Page 21 of Fighting Temptation (Men of Honor 1)
Lifting his mouth from mine he trails kisses to my ear and whispers: “Are you ready baby?”
“Yes,” I say softly but with certainty.
When he stands up I scoot back to the middle of the bed and suck in a startled breath, watching as he sheathes himself with the condom. Oh my god!! Is that size normal? I’ve never really seen one before but that seems awfully big. I swallow, feeling fear now for what’s about to happen.
“Baby, I gotta tell you, seeing your horrified expression while staring at my dick is not good for my ego,” he says with a smirk. I know that my expression does nothing to his ego, he knows exactly what I’m thinking.
I clear my throat, “Um Jax? I don’t think this is going to work. I don’t think you’ll fit,” my face flames while my body spikes with anxiety.
The smirk on his face vanishes and a look of seriousness passes over it. He lays over me, leaning on his elbows and I feel his erection on the inside of my thigh.
“It’ll fit!” he says with certainty, “I’ll go slow, but you have to know Julia, it’s going to hurt.” I can tell it bothers him knowing I’ll feel pain and I don’t want him to change his mind. So with a big breath I nod and give him a shaky smile. Grabbing the back of his neck I bring his lips down to mine. He kisses me back aggressively, making me forget my fear.
Rising up he slowly slides the tip of himself inside me and lets out a tortured groan. Although it’s tight and uncomfortable, I think ‘ok this isn’t so bad, I can handle this’. But then I suck in a harsh breath when he slides in another inch- holy shit, OUCH!!! I reach up, wrapping my arms around him, burying my face in his neck.
“Breathe baby, relax a bit Julia,” he pushes at my knees that have a tight grip on his hips, stopping him from going further.
I shake my head not knowing what to do. This hurts so much more than I thought it would and I knew it would hurt.
“Fuck,” he breathes out harshly. His body is tense and he looks down at me with indecision, “Do you trust me Julia?”
“Yes,” I say without any hesitation.
“Hold on to me baby, I’m going to get this over with before it kills us both.” I wrap my arms around his shoulders and before I can ask what he’s going to do he slams himself inside of me, stilling.
“AHHHH!” I scream, a blinding white hot pain explodes behind my eyes and I feel like I’ve just been split in two. I try breathing through the agony when I hear Jaxson groan in pleasure and it makes me wanna hit him.
“God Jaxson,” I whisper painfully.
“I’m sorry baby, I’m so fucking sorry,” he chokes out, kissing my shoulder and my neck. I look into his eyes and see an expression filled with guilt, which quickly snaps me out of my pained state.
“It’s ok,” I lie softly. I lean up kissing his lips and lift my hips trying to reassure him. That’s when I realize I feel more discomfort than pain.
“Are you sure,” he asks breathing harshly.
“Yes, just go slow.”
Straightening his arms he raises himself above me and starts to rock slowly back and forth. I stay still the first few strokes, feeling uncomfortable and tender. But the more he moves inside me the better it feels and I start feeling a different sensation, one that makes me move my hips to meet his.
“Yes baby that’s it, does it feel better?”
I nod, staring into his ice blue eyes that are filled with an emotion I can’t quite name. One that makes me feel desired and cherished. One that makes me want to tell him I love him, but I don’t, because I know better. Instead I raise my hand and place it over his pounding heart, “I love feeling you inside me of me.”
He groans and leans his forehead against mine while he continues to move inside of me, “You feel fucking incredible Julia, I’ve never felt anything more perfect than you.”
We’ve always had a strong connection, one that I’ll never share with anyone else. But this is more, this is deeper, because right now at this moment we are one. Our bodies were the only way we hadn’t connected and now that we have, I fear he will not only own my heart but also my soul.
I watch Jaxson shake with restraint as he moves in me slowly. “I want more of you,” I wrap one of my legs around him which brings him deeper than I thought was possible.
“Shit,” he groans harshly, clenching his jaw. Then he raises back up on his arms and starts thrusting a littler harder and faster. I run my hands all over him, anywhere I can reach, loving the way his hard body flexes as he moves inside of me.
He reaches his hand in between our thrusting bodies and starts rubbing my clit. I whimper and snap my surprised gaze to his.
“I want you to come again Julia, I need to feel you come around my cock.” My breathing increases when his thumb moves faster and I’m shocked I’m about to come again. He quickens his thrusts then presses down on my clit which sends me over the edge.
“Fuck yes, me too baby,” he groans then stills, coming inside me.
Leaning most of his weight on me, I wrap myself around him and kiss his neck. We hold each other trying to catch our breaths, our hearts beating together as if one. I turn my lips to his ear, “Thank you.”
Lifting his head, he rests his forehead on mine, his expression raw and vulnerable. He stares at me like he wants to say something but then thinks better of it, “I’m really glad you came today Julia.”
Well it wasn’t ‘I love you’ but I knew that it wouldn’t be. Giving him a simple smile I try not to let my emotions get the better of me, “Me too.”
