Page 23 of Fighting Temptation (Men of Honor 1)
“I can tell he liked you too and that’s saying something because he doesn’t like many people.” I smile, happy to hear that.
I feel content being curled up next to Jaxson’s warm body, hearing his steady heartbeat under me while his fingers drag across my lower back. Being with him like this feels so… right. It’s the most peace I’ve felt since my mom passed away and I wish it could be like this forever.
Feeling sleepy I notice Jaxson’s hand is still and his breathing has become slow and even. Glancing up I see he’s sound asleep. I watch him for a moment, loving how peaceful he looks. Reaching up I brush a gentle kiss on his mouth. Then I whisper the words I dared not to say when he was awake: “I love you Jaxson,” I lay my head back down on his chest. As I drift off a dream hits me fast- one where he whispers the same words back to me.
I startle awake when the pilot announces our descent. I must have dozed off while thinking back to Jaxson’s graduation and the night I lost my virginity. That was the best night of my life; it was also the last time I saw Jaxson. We kept in touch with email and phone calls but neither of us could get away to see each other. He was sent out on missions shortly after that night and it seems he’s stayed gone since. Sometimes I think he’s avoided me because obviously our relationship did change that night, no matter how much we hoped it wouldn’t. Although, I think it changed the night I told him I loved him. He calls me at least once or twice a month and I send him packages of baked goods which he said Sawyer and Cade also enjoy.
I smile, thinking how crazy it is- the three of them getting to be a part of the same Seal team. Then my heart pinches wondering if they’re the other two who were with Jaxson. I feel like it’s a safe bet to assume they were.
Please let them all be ok.
As I’m walking off the plane the elderly gentleman who was sitting next to me puts his hand on my shoulder, halting me.
“Good luck with your friend miss.”
I give him a kind smile, “Thank you.”
I bypass the luggage since I only brought my carry-on. I didn’t know how long I would be here and figured I would buy things if needed.
Hailing a taxi I have the driver take me right to the hospital instead of my hotel first. I’m too anxious to wait any longer to see Jaxson; I need to know he’s alright.
My anxiety spikes as I walk into the hospital. Taking a deep breath I pull myself together and head right up to the nurses’ station asking to see Jaxson. I’m grateful to find out they speak English.
“I’ll have to go check if he can have visitors, there are restrictions on his room. Please have a seat in the waiting area, Miss…?”
“Julia, Julia Sinclair.”
I sit in the waiting room for a good 10 minutes before I look over, seeing an enraged Cooper, “I’m going to fucking kill my girlfriend!”
I stand up and advance on him, feeling my own anger spike. “I don’t think so Cooper,” I seethe, poking my finger in his chest, “how dare you keep this from me, how dare both of you keep this from me!” We’re toe to toe now and we glare at each other waiting to see who’s going to pull back first, of course it’s me.
Taking a deep breath I ask the question that’s been haunting me since Kayla’s phone call, “Is he ok?” I can’t stop the small sob that breaks free.
“Fuck!” Coop takes a big breath of his own, pinching the bridge of his nose, something he often does when he’s stressed. “He’s going to be ok, over time. He’s really fucked up Julia, you shouldn’t have come.”
“He’s my best friend Cooper. How can you say that to me?”
“Julia don’t make this harder than it has to be.”
“What the hell are you talking about? How am I making it harder wanting to be here for him?”
“He doesn’t want you here.” I flinch feeling like I’ve been slapped. “Christ! He doesn’t want you to see him like this. He needs time.”
My temper flares and I stand toe to toe with him again. I try to look intimidating but that’s pretty hard to do with someone like Coop. “No! Now you listen here, Cooper McKay, I’m seeing him one way or another, even if I have to physically go through you. So you tell him I’m here and that I’m not leaving till I see him!”
Cooper shakes his head. “Ok that’s it,” I march past him to go to Jaxson’s room. I don’t make it very far before he grabs me from behind, wrapping his arms around my body so I can’t get my arms free. I kick and fight when he lifts me up to take me outside. The nurse behind the desk looks at us anxiously and you can tell she isn’t sure what to do. “Let go of me Cooper or I swear I’ll scream.” He just grunts, which pisses me off more. Once he gets me outside I turn my head and bite his shoulder.
“Ow, fuck!” he puts me down and grabs my shoulders, giving me a shake.
“Goddamn it Julia, listen to me! He knows you’re here and he’s refusing to see you. No matter how hard you fight you’re not going to see him. I’m sorry.”
The fierce determination in Cooper’s gaze makes me realize how serious he is.
“Please don’t do this Cooper. I’ve come all this way, I need to see him.” Tears begin to fall as I attempt to put into words how much I desperately need to see Jaxson. “You, out of all people, know how much he means to me. Please don’t do this.”
“Christ,” he pulls me against him and holds me tight. I let out a relieved breath, thinking I got through to him until he says… “I’m sorry Julia, but I respect his decision.”
