Page 7 of Fighting Temptation (Men of Honor 1)
“Ya, I guess I am. I think it’s a great town, I just wish the circumstances of what brought me here were different,” I say sadly.
“You’ve never mentioned your dad before. Tell me to mind my own damn business if you want, but I’m curious why you aren’t living with him?”
I get a little uncomfortable when I say, “That’s because I don’t know who my father is,” before he gets the wrong idea I rush to explain, “it isn’t because my mom slept around and doesn’t know who he is. To make a long story short, my mother fell in love with my father in college and got pregnant. He didn’t feel the same way and didn’t want a kid. He told her if she didn’t get rid of me he would leave. When she didn’t, that’s exactly what he did. She said if I ever wanted to know anything about him I could ask but to be honest I never thought too much about not having a father. My mother was everything I needed. She never dated, so I didn’t have any male figures while growing up. My pappi died before I was even born.
There were a few times I wondered if I was missing out, like when I was young, living in our old house. We lived in a pretty nice neighborhood, nothing big and fancy but peaceful and kid friendly. There was a girl close to my age that lived next door. She had this big tree in her front yard and her dad put a wooden swing on it for her. He would push her on it every night after supper, they would laugh and she would beg him to go higher. I’d watch them sometimes out my window and I’d wonder what that felt like. But I wouldn’t let myself dwell on it because I knew no one had a mom out there like I did.”
I turn to him with a soft smile and I’m caught off guard when I see him staring at me so intensely. I’m about to ask him what he’s thinking but then he looks away and says, “Well trust me when I say, sometimes it’s better not knowing your father than knowing him.” I see a quick flash of pain in his eyes before he hides it.
“Will you tell me about your mom?” his question catches me off guard. It was the first time he’s asked about her. We have become close and he knows she had died from cancer but other than that I never brought it up because it hurt too much to talk about her. But I was feeling stronger lately so looking back up at the stars I let out a breath and say: “She was beautiful Jax, not just on the outside, but the inside too. She was so graceful and sweet, she never judged anyone. She was the kindest and most forgiving woman you would ever meet. Sometimes I think God took her because he needed her as one of his angels.” I sense him staring at me again and I let out a frustrated moan, “I’m not making any sense, am I? I’m trying to describe just how amazing she was and no matter what I say you will never fully understand how beautiful she was.”
As a tear slips free, Jaxson leans over wiping it away with his thumb affectionately. “Actually I know exactly what you’re saying, she sounds just like you.”
Something shifted in me at his words, something monumental, and I soon realize it’s me giving Jaxson my entire heart.
I shake my head giving him a sad smile, “I’d give anything to be half the person my mom was.”
“Believe me Jules, you measure up, more than you will ever know.”
His gaze makes me feel breathless and I thought he was going to kiss me, I prayed for it. Instead he broke the moment by lying down, looking back up at the sky.
I get pulled back to the present by hearing Kayla rant about Cooper.
“I still can’t believe that fucker kept this from me. He said he knew I would have told you. Can you believe that?”
“Well, would you have?”
“Of course I would’ve!” she states as if I just asked the dumbest question in the world.
I chuckle, “Than why are you so mad at him?”
“Because he is supposed to tell me everything anyway, that’s why,” she says, as if the answer is so obvious. “I told him he is not getting a piece of ass for at least a week. Although I may have to take that back, it has been 2 days and I might die if I don’t get him naked soon,” she wiggles her eyebrows at me and we both giggle.
Kayla and Cooper are adorable, they are the all-American couple. Kayla with her long blonde hair, dark blue eyes and a body that girls only could dream to have. And Cooper, well… let’s just say that other than Jaxson, Cooper is the next sexiest guy I have ever laid eyes on. He has warm green eyes and keeps his brown hair short and neat. He’s built much the same as Jaxson, long and lean, an athlete’s body. Except he’s a little shorter, around 6’1” instead of Jaxson’s 6’4.” Together both of those boys are lethal to a girl’s hormones. I smile when I think of all the seductive tricks Kayla used to snatch him.
“Don’t be too hard on him, he was just being loyal to Jaxson. You would’ve done the same for me,” I say taking pity on Cooper.
“Ya, you’re right, I’m gonna make him sweat it for a bit longer though.” I shake my head and smile at her. “Are you ready for this?”
I take a deep breath, “As ready as I’m ever gonna be.”
I pull up to Julia’s house just a few minutes before six and try to pull myself together. I’ve been in a shit mood these last few days, leaving Julia is bothering me more than I thought it would. Even Coop has had enough of me. As I walk up to the door and begin to knock, Julia’s grandma, Margaret Sinclair, opens the door.
