Page 95 of Fighting Temptation (Men of Honor 1)
Sawyer wraps his arms around me again, “Just give him some time Julia, he just needs to get his head back on straight. But if I were you, I’d make the prick grovel his ass off when he does come back. And I know he will, sooner rather than later too.”
I can only pray he’s right.
After driving 4 hours through night I stopped at a motel just outside my destination and grabbed a few hours of sleep, or at least I tried to. But sleep proved impossible because anytime I closed my fucking eyes all I could see was her beautiful tear-streaked face, pale with fear, twisted with agony; her body shaking while her hands covered her ears to quiet my violence.
All because of me.
I swallow thickly and grind my teeth against the ache in my chest. The one thing that matters most to me in the whole goddamn world and I go and fuck it up. Who knew I could hate myself anymore than I already did.
So now it was the ass crack of dawn and I’m parked outside the one place I’ve been debating to visit since leaving the clinic… Anna’s. The last time I saw her was in the hospital. She had asked me to come visit her sometime. I’m not sure why last night, of all nights, I decided to finally come, but after I left the house I drove for hours in a daze and this is where it took me. She lives on a real nice street, big houses with huge lawns that are well taken care of. Parked on every driveway are vehicles that cost at least $80,000. Not surprising since her father is a heart surgeon.
I turn off the truck and drop my head back against the head rest. I’ll wait for at least another hour before I knock on the door, don’t want to wake anyone up, which sucks because it just gives me time to think.
‘I’m pregnant’.
Julia’s words ring in my head bringing on panic and fear again. Jesus Christ. How the fuck am I supposed to be a dad when my role model was an alcoholic who hated kids, especially his own. I doubt I’d be half as fucked up if my mom would have stuck around. But nope, she fucking left because she was better off without my worthless father, and I guess she figured she was better off without me too since she didn’t take me with her. I clench my jaw tighter trying to fight off the additional wave of pain that thought brought on.
Julia is the one person who’s always been there for me whenever I needed her. And what do I do when she needs me? I throw a fucking tantrum and bail on her. Ya I fucking hate myself so much right now that I want to punch my own self in the face.
My thoughts come to a halt when I see Anna’s mother step out in her robe to grab the paper. Well, here goes nothing. I open the truck door and start making my way to her. She straightens and looks nervously at me for a minute. Recognition and shock dawns in her eyes as I get closer.
“Oh my goodness, Jaxson?”
I nod and let out a nervous breath, “Hi Susan, sorry to drop by unexpected like this. I was passing through and I wanted to stop in to see how Anna was doing,” okay so I lied a little.
Smiling she walks up to me and gives me a hug, “Of course. Anna will be thrilled to see you. Come in. She’s just getting ready for church.”
I met Susan and her husband Bill at the hospital. Both of them seemed like real good people, good parents, and I was glad Anna had them. She grabs my hand and pulls me into the house. Bill comes walking out of the kitchen in a suit as I stand in the entrance.
“Bill, look who came by to see Anna,” Susan says smiling kindly.
It takes Bill a minute before he recognizes me. He too smiles and puts out his hand for me to shake. “Well I’ll be, how are you doing Jaxson?”
I clasp his hand in a firm handshake, “I’m doing good. Sorry to stop by unexpected like this.”
Susan waves away my apology, “Nonsense, you’re always welcome in our home.”
Bill nods, “Absolutely.”
“Mom, who are you talking to?”
My heart skips a beat at Anna’s voice from upstairs.
Susan smiles brightly, “Why don’t you come down and see? Someone’s here to see you.”
“Me?”
I’m still standing in the entry way which is directly at the bottom of the staircase. I hear Anna’s footsteps above us a second before I see her, looking beautiful, innocent and youthful. Not at all the damaged girl I saw a year ago.
She freezes at the top and stares at me in shock. A huge smile breaks over her face, “Oh my god. Jaxson?” She bolts down the stairs her excitement triggering a smile of my own. She launches herself at me from the bottom step.
I catch her chuckling, “How ya doing kid?” I whisper in her hair.
Her body starts to shake against me and I realize she’s crying.
Well shit! I try to swallow past the sudden lump in my throat.
“I’m so glad you came,” she whispers tearfully.
“Me too.”
“Honey, why don’t you and Jaxson go catch up in the kitchen while your father and I go get ready for church.”
Bill is obviously all ready but he follows his wife upstairs. I put down Anna and she wipes her eyes giving me a watery smile.
“Come on,” she grabs my hand and drags me into her massive kitchen. “You want something to drink? Looks like my mom has coffee made.”
I take a seat at the table and shake my head, “Nah, thanks anyways.”
She sits down next to me, “About time you came and visited me.”
“I got out of the clinic about 2 months ago.”
“You look different, you’re kind of cute without all the blood and bruises.”
I scoff, “Kinda?”
She giggles, “Oh whatever, you’re hot and you know it. If I didn’t love you like a big brother I would have a crush on you myself.”
