Page 19 of Sweet Temptation (Men of Honor 2)
She scoffs, “Right, coming from the guy that will pretty much screw anythin’.”
As soon as the words leave her mouth she drops her head and shakes it. “I’m sorry. I shou…”
“You know what? Save it. I’m fucking done. I don’t need this shit.”
Then, before I say or do anything I know I’ll regret, I get the fuck out of there. Mac watches me leave and the new girl clears a wide path as I storm out the front door with my temper soaring and my chest raging with something I can’t name.
I try to be noble and that’s what I fucking get. Well fuck it, I’m Sawyer fucking Evans, I can have any woman I want. So what the fuck should I care what some little blonde chick, that bakes delicious fucking pies, thinks of me?
Getting into the truck, I slam the door and keep a tight hold on my anger, because anger feels a hell of a lot better than the other feeling that’s trying to push its way through.
Oh no, what have I done? With tears streamin’ down my face I walk into the kitchen and grab my coat. “Mac, I need to go. I’m sorry but I can’t be here right now.”
He looks at me worriedly and nods. “Don’t be sorry, darlin’. You go. We’ll be fine. Did you want me to give you a ride?”
I shake my head, “No I need the fresh air. I’ll be back tomorrow. Thank you.”
I walk over and kiss him on the cheek. Before I can move away he wraps me in a bear hug, squeezin’ the life out of me. “Watching you this last week is breaking my heart, Grace.”
I let out a little sob, as guilt strikes deep. I’m hurtin’ Mac and I just hurt Sawyer, all because I’m hurtin’. I’ve never been a self-pitying person and I let my pain get the best of me, which just makes me angry. “I’m sorry, Mac. I never meant to hurt any of ya. I promise I’m gonna be better.”
He squeezes me tighter, which I didn’t think was possible. “Don’t be sorry, darlin’, if anyone has a right to be sad it’s you. But let your friends help you, all right? Don’t push them away.”
I nod, feeling terrible for what just happened with Sawyer. Mac lets me go. “All right, go on and get out of here. Call if you need anything.”
“Thanks, Mac.” Then I’m rushing out the front door and speed walkin’ home. Pulling out my cell, I text Kayla and Julia.
Are y’all busy? Can you meet me at my house? I need some company.
I hope I’m not interruptin’ them, but I need their advice. I need to make things right with Sawyer. A second later my phone dings back:
On our way.
I shake my head and feel tears build again. I may have had a lot of pain and hurt come my way in the last 3 years, but I also have a lot to be thankful for, especially my friends.
If the bad starts to outweigh the good, baby girl, then focus only on the good, because when you’re thankful for the good, you’ll end up havin’ more of it.
Mama’s words float through my head, reminding me of what a self-pityin’ fool I’ve been. I should create a pie called Feelin’ Sorry For Myself Pie, one with yucky ingredients like lumpy oatmeal and fruitcake mashed together.
I get pulled out of my thoughts when I turn on my street to see Julia and Kayla getting out of Julia’s car.
Holy smokes that was fast. I start joggin’ over. Being able to tell I’m upset, they start towards me, meetin’ me halfway. Their arms come around me.
“Thank you for comin’.”
“Thank you for texting us when you needed someone,” Julia says softly.
“Yeah, and I especially want to thank you for getting me the fuck away from Cooper. The man-cold has hit my house and I was just about to start poisoning his fucking soup if I had to hear anymore about how serious a sore throat can be.”
We burst into a fit of laughter, something we haven’t done in a while. I hug them tighter. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a downer this week, and I’m real sorry if I hurt y’alls feelins’.”
“You didn’t, Grace. We know you’re going through a hard time right now,” Julia replies.
We pull back from each other and Kayla grabs my hand. “All right let’s go inside and you can tell us what’s going on. I brought wine, in case this was a crisis alcohol could fix. Jules, I brought you sparkling juice.”
Heading inside we take a seat on the couch and I tell them everything. I start to choke up when I repeat my last comment to Sawyer. “You should have seen his face, I’ve never felt so awful in my life. I’m a terrible, terrible person.”
“Whoa, easy there Mother Theresa, I wouldn’t go that far. Here, drink some of this,” Kayla screws the cap off the wine and hands me the bottle, “trust me, it will make things seem a whole lot better.”
Grabbing the bottle, I take a big swig and choke the nastiness down. I’m not a big drinker; I don’t like the taste of alcohol much.
“There you go, good job,” she takes the bottle and has a swig herself. “Now, first off, you’re not a terrible person. People make mistakes, and let’s be honest, although the last comment was unnecessary it wasn’t untrue and Sawyer has to know that.”
I shake my head sadly, “I know he can be like that but he never has with me.” Emotion starts to clog my throat again when I think how kind he has been to me. “I never meant to hurt him, I just let my humiliation and pain run my mouth.”
Julia rubs my back. “Don’t beat yourself up so much, Grace, like Kayla said, people make mistakes. All you can do is apologize and ask for forgiveness.”
I nod, “Y’all are right. That’s exactly what I’m gonna do, I’ll bake him a special pie, an apology pie, then I’ll take it to him.” I look at the clock and see if I start now hopefully it won’t be too late and I can take it to him tonight.
