Page 6 of Noelle's Secret Admirer

“I love you, mom, but that’s the biggest lie ever,” I replied, prompting a ripple of laughter to move through the kitchen.

“I’m okay. Honestly, I don’t think I even liked Andrew that much. It was just the whole idea of a happily ever after that I was drawn to.”

“I never liked that boy much. He always caused problems when he was younger.”

“Still does,” Holly said. “I heard he’s been a complete asshole of a realtor. Charging all sorts of fees to people relocating into town.”

“I kind of suspected as much.”

“Listen, you will find the perfect man. It might take some time, but everyone is destined to share their life with a partner.”

My mom’s overly positive attitude was something I loved, but also something that was driving me a little crazy right now. We worked in the kitchen until around noon. A handful of my foster siblings came and went, and Jack and Nick took their wives home early. With Belle still being so little and Kyra ready to pop, it wasn’t surprising. The only ones missing from the bunch were Kane and Trinity, but they were due in from the city in a few days. There was no question about whether people would show for the holidays, it was only ever when.

I excused myself and made my way up to my old room. It was great being around family, but it was also loud and hard to maintain a cheerful face for so long. Being back in my old room was like stepping into a time capsule of my younger self. The faded posters of pop bands and actors that I’d swooned over still adorned the walls, and an array of books still graced the shelves. I flopped onto the bed, the soft floral comforter wrapping me in its familiar scent as I stared at the ceiling, dotted with glow-in-the-dark stars I’d stuck up there years ago.

I had spent a lot of my childhood in this very room, ruminating on the cruelties of adolescence. Being a bit larger than my peers had given me a distinct disadvantage in the social circles of our small town. The kids at school were merciless with their snide remarks and outright bullying. Yet, despite the emotional scars those years left, they were also interspersed with memories of unexpected kindness from strangers and the unwavering love and support of my family.

My brothers, despite their occasional immaturity, were fiercely protective of me. They’d step in when the bullies grew too bold, often landing themselves in detention or even the principal’s office. But it wasn’t just their readiness to come to my defense that comforted me. It was their wordless acceptance of me, exactly as I was, that truly made me feel loved. It was as though they instinctively knew that my struggles ran deeper than the surface level insults flung at me in the hallways. And for that, I was eternally grateful.

A soft knock at the door jerked me out of my contemplative state, followed by its quiet creaking as it opened. Wiping the tears that had silently trailed down my cheeks, I sat up to see Max stepping into the room. His presence was like a salve to my aching heart.

“Hey Elfie, how you holding up?”

I scrambled into a sitting position and wiped my face as I looked up into his dark eyes. The small smile that was just for me made my heart race like it always had. He didn’t bother to wait for a response but instead crawled into bed next to me and pulled me into his chest. I took in a deep breath of his scent and immediately the sadness that had invaded my soul disappeared.

“I’m better now. I didn’t know you were coming.”

“Mom called and told me I didn’t have a choice. I had to finish up on a car, but Rocco is closing for me.”

Max had been part of our lives since I was twelve. He had been a troubled teenager, introduced to our family through a mentoring program my father was involved in. Yet it didn’t take long for him to integrate into our familial chaos, thanks to my mom’s tireless efforts and her insistence that he was one of her own.

Despite his rocky past, Max had turned his life around and now ran his own business. His transformation had always inspired me, but there was also something else about him. A magnetic pull that I’d felt ever since I was a teenager. It was an unspoken understanding, a quiet resonance that seemed to vibrate between us whenever we were in the same room.

“I’m happy you’re here. I’ve missed you.” His breath caught in his chest and I looked up at him to find a pained expression on his face. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I’m more worried about you than anything.”

“Eve told you what happened.”

“She did.”

“I feel like I should be mad at her for blabbing to everyone, but it’s hard to be mad at Eve.”

He laughed, “Oh I know, she’s more like mom than she’s willing to admit. Besides, she’s not blabbing to strangers. We are a family. It’s different.”

There it was, that reminder that Max and I were family. I spent years ignoring the pull I had to him. It wasn’t right to have a crush on your foster brother, but it didn’t stop my heart from yearning for him to become something more. It was my mind that set me straight every time. He was older than me, not by that much, but old enough that my twenty-three-year-old self recognized I had nothing to offer him. I was teaching at the local high school, barely making rent and regularly making the worst decisions of my life.

“I guess it is different.”

“What did you see in this guy, anyway?”

“I’m just tired of being alone. I know I’m still young, but I want more out of life. I want everything that Jack, Nick and Kane have. I just want to be happy.”

Max’s arms tightened around me, “You don’t need someone else to make you happy Elfie, you just need to be happy with yourself. You are the most amazing person I know, capable of anything you set your mind to, but every time you have a setback, you forget how fierce you are.”

The use of his nickname for me made me smile. “You always know just what to say to make me feel better.”

I felt his lips on the top of my head and held my breath as he placed a kiss there. I stayed still as I could and closed my eyes, imagining what it would be like if things were different between us. If our childhood hadn’t made us part of the same family but we had met by chance. Certain I was thinking too much into some friendly words from my brother, I pushed up and went to stand.

---