Page 107 of Resisting Temptation (Men of Honor 3)
She removes her hands and the kid stares in shock as he looks around the garage that has been cleared out and now replaced with a brand new set of drums, an electric guitar and a microphone.
“I know you want to learn the drums,” Faith starts softly, “but I also wanted you to have a guitar again in case you want to learn that too, since you never got the chance with your last one. The guitar I can help you learn, but the drums I have found someone else who is going to come give you lessons twice a week.”
He looks around the room for another minute, silence weighing heavily in the air as we all wait for him to say something. He opens his mouth then quickly closes it, not being able to form words. I watch him visibly swallow then shake his head before grabbing Faith and hugging her tight. She comes out of her shock quickly and hugs him back just as strong. “Thank you,” he whispers gruffly, “just…thank you for everything you do.”
“You’re welcome. You deserve it and so much more.” Tears are evident in Faith’s reply.
Everyone is silent, watching the personal moment, and I look over to see the girls sniffling and wiping their tears while the guys shift uncomfortably. Christopher steps back a minute later, then walks up to me and shakes my hand. “Thanks. Not just for this but for everything too.”
I take it in a firm shake and clap him on the shoulder. “You’re welcome, and Faith is right, you deserve it.”
Smiling now, he walks over to his drums and everyone follows to check it out. I decide to start getting things on the barbecue for supper. In the midst of putting shit on the grill Evans walks over, and I brace myself, knowing what he’s going to say is going to piss me off. He stands beside me and I feel him stare at me but I don’t look over.
“You need to chill, Walker.”
I grind my teeth and restrain myself from lashing out like I want to. “Don’t fucking worry about it, I’m fine.”
“Fuck that. You’re not fooling anyone; you look like you’re ready to commit murder. He is not ‘him’!”
I turn on him fast. “Evans, I’m fucking warning you right now, back the fuck off.”
He glares back at me. “Then fucking pull yourself together before you ruin the kid’s fucking birthday.”
He stalks back to the garage and I return to what I was doing. I try really fucking hard to do what he says, to pull myself together, but it just isn’t happening. So much pain and hatred fights to surface, and I pray I can keep it down until this night is over. But no matter how hard I try, it doesn’t happen.
As the evening goes on it only gets worse. I’m on the opposite side of the table from the guy and I haven’t looked at him once, but every time he opens his mouth to speak, the rage builds and eats at me. It’s not logical and I know it, but it doesn’t seem to matter. I can’t control it. Images from that awful day keep trying to resurface, and the pain and violence that comes with it is suffocating. My heart starts to pound again, my blood running hot and fast as the guy talks about his plans with the fucking cult he calls a church.
“I was also going to mention to you, Faith, that there is a convention I am going to next month and any of the pastor’s kids or grandkids are welcome to come and join the weekend Bible camp. I thought that might be something Ruthie might want to join me.”
For the first time since shaking his hand, I look up at him.
“Oh, that would be…”
“No!” I interrupt Faith, my voice cold and hard, reflecting exactly how I’m feeling.
An awkward silence falls over the table and Faith clears her throat, “It’s something we can discuss later,” she says cautiously.
No fucking way. I hold the guy’s stare. “She isn’t going anywhere overnight with you or any of those other pedophiles!”
“Cade…” Faith snaps the warning.
The guy takes a deep breath. “Listen, son.” I tense at the word ‘son’, another voice sounding in my head with his…“Now just stay where you are, son. This is God’s will and you cannot change what he wants!” I shake my head to rid the voice and snap back in the present. “I know what happened to your sister and I just want to say…”
“Oh shit,” Sawyer curses, just as I jump out of my chair, knocking it over in my fit of rage.
“Cade!” Faith yells, a note of desperation in her voice.
I point at the guy. “You shut the fuck up. You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about. You know…”
“Cade, stop it right now! You are out of line and scaring Ruthie.” Faith’s angry warning has me looking over to see Ruthie’s eyes big and tear-filled.
Guilt strikes me deep but it’s not enough to calm the rage and I know I have to get the fuck out of here. Turning, I pick up the chair and throw it across the fucking patio before walking out the door. I get in my truck and head to the only place where I can unleash the violence flowing through me.
CHAPTER 30
Faith
Tears stream down my face, blurring my vision, as I drive to Cade’s apartment, hoping that’s where he is. After trying to salvage what was left of Christopher’s supper, and apologizing profusely for Cade’s awful behavior, I knew I had to see him, I had to talk to him.
So many emotions are overwhelming me. I’m upset Christopher’s supper was a complete bust, when he deserves so much more than that. I’m hurt and angry on my dad’s behalf for the way Cade treated him, but, more than anything, I ache for Cade. I knew it was going to be hard on him, and I had known he had never dealt with his sister’s death but I didn’t realize how bad it was.
