Page 120 of Resisting Temptation (Men of Honor 3)
No, no fucking way. Someone has to be here. I hold the ribbon tight and take a quick walk around, trying to find whoever the fuck was just here, but again I find no sign of anyone. Shaking my head in disbelief, I walk back and stare at my sister’s grave, not knowing what to think. Was it here the whole time and I missed it? I dismiss the thought right away, knowing this is something I wouldn’t miss.
Leaning down, I rest my forehead against her headstone again and say one final goodbye. “I’ll never stop thinking of you again. I love you, kid. Forever.”
Standing up, I walk away with my vision blurred and an ache in my chest that I know will never fade, but it’s somehow more manageable now. I get into my rental then head over to my next destination, one that I’m dreading just as much as the last, and pull up to the small run-down house I haven’t been to in twelve years. If it weren’t for Catherine Evans I wouldn’t have known the woman inside still lived here.
I walk up the familiar, cracked cement steps and knock on the broken screen door. When it swings open I’m met by a pathetic looking woman, one I recognize easily. Maria Walker looks mostly the same, but older, which means not good. She looks cracked out and like she hasn’t showered in a week.
Her brown, blood-shot eyes widen in shock for only a brief second before narrowing on me with hatred. It’s a look I remember well, it’s the only way she’s ever looked at me. “What the hell are you doing here?”
You would think her greeting would hurt me, that it would hurt that the woman who is supposed to love me unconditionally can barely stand the sight of me, but it doesn’t. If anything it makes it easier to forget about her. I push past her and walk in. “I’m here to pick up something of Mia’s that I want.”
I feel her follow me as I make my way to my sister’s old bedroom. “You are not taking a single thing, you don’t deserve anything of hers.” I ignore her, which pisses her off, and right when I’m about to walk into the room she grabs my arms. “I mean it, you’re not…”
I turn on her quickly and she jumps back with a yelp. “Don’t put your fucking hands on me. I’m taking the fucking rabbit I gave her for her birthday, and if you try to stop me again you will live to fucking regret it.”
I head into my sister’s room, and feel the ache in my chest tighten, so I quickly take what I came for, not wanting to be vulnerable in front of this woman. As I turn to leave I pass by a framed picture that’s on her dresser, one of us at the fair. She’s on my back, her small face next to mine with the biggest smile; it’s one I rarely saw because the house we lived in sucked so fucking bad. But for that one night she didn’t stop smiling, and it made me feel good to know I was the one who put it there. Feeling a burn in my throat again, I grab the picture too, knowing Maria couldn’t give a shit about it and walk out.
I pass by Maria in the living room and ignore her death glare, but before I leave I decide to ask about the ribbon. “Did you put the ribbon at her grave?”
“What ribbon? What the hell are you talking about?”
I figured. I don’t bother to explain and turn to leave, but just as I’m about to walk out the door she says, “It should have been you.” Stopping short, I turn back to her. “I wish it would have been you who died and not her.”
I look at her and wonder how a mother can hate her own child so much, a child who never did anything but live and breathe. I think of Red. Of how she is with Christopher and Ruthie and the way she loves them unconditionally. She’s everything a mother should be and everything this mother isn’t. For the first time I’m struck with the realization that I may be all sorts of fucked up but I know I am nothing like this bitch or my asshole father.
“If I could have traded spots with her I would have,” I tell her honestly. “I would have died for her, but as it happened you fucking killed her instead of me. All because you’re nothing but a no-good fucking junkie, who wanted attention, and let some asshole who was screwing you, screw with your daughter.” Pain flashes in her angry eyes but I couldn’t give a shit because all of it is the truth.
She picks up an empty glass vase off the coffee table, and I duck just as she throws it at me. “GET OUT AND NEVER COME BACK!”
“Don’t worry, I won’t be. But do yourself a favor, Maria, and fucking clean yourself up. You might still be able to salvage some part of your pathetic life.”
With that last remark, I get the hell out of there and drive to the airport, hoping there will be a flight out sooner rather than later. I need Red and I need her now, but there are still things I need to put in place first.
CHAPTER 38
Cade
I pull up to the two-story, Victorian-styled house and let out a tired breath. These past two weeks have been one fucking hell of an emotional roller coaster, which takes a lot out of a guy who never used to feel anything. From the night that I fucked up at Christopher’s birthday supper, to thinking I was going to lose two of the most important people in my life, to dealing with my sister, then Maria…
I’ve missed Faith like fucking crazy this past week. Evans has been giving me daily updates but it doesn’t help. Not one fucking bit. I need her and I plan to see her soon. There’s only one thing left to take care of and it’s going to be awkward as hell; I’m not sure I’m ready for it. I just hope what she said is true and that she’s waiting for me, but I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t. Pushing aside that shitty thought, I get out of the truck and walk up the front steps. I knock on the door and shift nervously, wondering what kind of greeting I’m going to get. The door opens to reveal the man I came to speak with.
