Page 121 of Resisting Temptation (Men of Honor 3)
“Cade,” Joshua Williams greets me in stunned disbelief.
“Hi, Joshua. Do you have a minute?”
He stares at me for another second before stepping back. “Of course. Please come in.”
Just as I step inside, Faith’s papa comes walking out of the kitchen. His eyes widen in shock before they narrow on me. “What the hell are you doing here?” I’m not surprised by his hostile greeting, and know I deserve it.
Before I can say anything though, Joshua does, “Don’t be rude, Dad, he’s here to speak with me.” I’m taken aback that he would stand up for me considering the way I treated him.
“Rude?” the old man says, none too gently. “I’ll show you rude when I pull my shotgun on this asshole for making my shortcake cry.” My chest constricts with guilt at the thought of Faith crying because of me.
Joshua scolds him again before turning to me. “Why don’t we go talk in my office?”
I nod and begin to follow him up the stairs. I glance back at the old man to see him glaring daggers at me. When we make eye contact he gives me the ‘I’m watching you’ signal. I grunt, getting the message loud and clear then continue to follow Joshua up the stairs.
As soon as we enter his office, I get the familiar anger and resentment of seeing the room filled with something I don’t believe in, or at least something I never used to… or still don’t. Oh fuck, I don’t know what I think anymore.
I focus on a massive picture of what is supposed to be heaven. But what captures my attention isn’t the picture, it’s the quote:
‘A little faith will bring your soul to heaven, but a lot of faith will bring heaven to your soul.’
“What can I do for you, Cade?”
I snap my gaze away from the picture, feeling a mix of turbulent emotions. Instead of saying the one thing I came here for, I end up reaching into my pocket and pulling out the thick, white hair ribbon that I haven’t parted with since it landed on me, and slam it down on his desk.
“I want you to tell me how the hell this ended up in my hands when I haven’t seen it in twelve years!”
He glances at the ribbon then back at me. “What is it?”
“It was my sister’s.” I grind my teeth at the pain I get from mentioning her, and know it’s going to be a while before I get used to talking about her. “She used to wear this in her hair every night. I went to her grave for the first time a few days ago and somehow, after hours of being there, this thing landed on me right out of thin fucking air.”
If my language offends him he doesn’t show it. I expect him to look at me like I’m completely fucking crazy for asking him this question, but he doesn’t. Instead he leans back in his chair and watches me patiently. “What is it you want me to tell you, Cade?”
I can’t answer because I don’t know. I feel like I don’t fucking know anything anymore.
When I don’t respond he lets out a breath. “I can tell you what I think, but it probably isn’t something you want to hear.”
“And what’s that?” I ask, surprised to hear how gruff my voice suddenly is.
He ponders it for a moment before deciding to tell me. “I’d say that was your sister telling you she sees you and that she’s okay.”
“That’s impossible,” I snap, thinking he’s full of shit, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t desperately want to believe him.
“Nothing is impossible when it comes to God, but I also know how you feel on the subject, so, like I said, I knew you wouldn’t like my answer, but that’s what I believe.”
“How the hell can you still believe what you do after what happened to your daughter?” I feel like a fucking asshole when pain darkens his expression.
“Because I have faith.” I ponder his answer, wondering if his answer holds double meaning. “Listen, I’d be lying if I told you it was easy for me to always remember that, because it’s not. It still kills me to know what happened to my daughter but I know where there’s good, there is also evil. And I believe that the bastards who hurt her are in hell right alongside with the man who hurt your sister.”
I sit into the chair across from him and release an exhausted breath while my head drops into my hands. There’s a moment of silence before he speaks again. “I don’t know much about what happened to your sister, just the little that Faith has told me, and I want you to know how sorry I am. I know it doesn’t mean much and it doesn’t make it better, but you need to know, Cade, that I am nothing like that man.” My head snaps up to see him watching me somberly. “I don’t know who he was but I can assure you he was not a man of God.”
I swallow thickly and nod. “That’s why I came here, to apologize about the way I treated you at the birthday supper. I don’t know what I think or believe anymore. It’s difficult for me to accept that there is this great power out there, after all the awful shit that goes on in this world. Regardless, I shouldn’t have taken out my issues with it on you.”
“Well I can understand where your doubt comes from, but again that’s where faith comes in. You see God works in mysterious ways. I believe he still fights the battle of evil and his weapons are people like you and your friends, or my father. Even people like me. While you kill the bad, I’m here to keep Him alive by faith. Are you getting why I named my girl that?” he asks with a smirk but doesn’t wait for me to respond. “I always knew she was going to be something great, that one day she was going to change the lives of many just like she did mine, and I was right. You, Christopher and Ruthie are products of that, and I know there is more and will always be more, because she is something special.”
