Page 40 of Resisting Temptation (Men of Honor 3)
As I run back to the gym, I realize my resolve is slipping more than I thought it could, especially in this short of time. All the reasons why I thought it was best to stay away from her are starting not to matter, and that fucking terrifies me, because if my resolve slips, and she lets it happen, it may destroy us both.
CHAPTER 11
Faith
Later that day I’m sitting in Grace’s bakery, having lunch with Katelyn, Julia and Grace. I’m trying to keep my thoughts focused on our conversation and not Cade. But I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since leaving the park this morning.
“All right, girl, talk to us,” Katelyn says, slinging an arm around me. “What’s bothering you?”
I feel bad when I realize I must not be hiding my emotions very well. I think about lying and say nothing, not wanting to ruin our lunch, but by the look on all of their faces they would know better. I also know I need to have this talk sooner or later with Grace and Julia. “I ran into Cade this morning in the park,” I admit softy.
“What did he do?” Katelyn asks angrily, looking ready to take Cade’s head off.
“Oh, nothing,” I rush to reassure. “We actually ended up running together and… It was nice.” Really nice, and it made me remember just how much I’ve missed him and how much I still care about him. But I decide to keep that part to myself. “I guess I’m still just feeling off-kilter at seeing him again after all this time.”
Julia reaches out and touches my hand kindly. “It will just take some time. It was a big shock for all of you, but I have no doubt it will get easier.”
Both she and Grace smile at me with understanding, and I decide now is a good time to say what has needed to be said. “I feel like I owe you girls an apology.” They both rear back in surprise.
“What? Why on earth would ya think that?” Grace asks, shocked.
“For what Sawyer and Jaxson went through to save me,” I whisper. Katelyn puts her hand on my leg under the table, to offer comfort, and I try really hard to rein in the guilt I’ve felt for so long, not wanting to make this harder than it already is.
“Oh, Faith, no,” Julia says, her voice sounding as rough as mine. “We don’t blame you at all. Listen, I still don’t know the full extent of what happened. Jaxson has only told me very little, but I know enough. My heart breaks for you all at what happened, and as hard as it is for me to say this, I am glad Jaxson was there for you. Because, if none of them had been there, then they wouldn’t have been able to save Anna either. And God only knows where you both would be now.”
I gasp with surprise at hearing the young girl’s name that I have often wondered about over the last two years. “You have seen Anna?”
Julia smiles genuinely, with tears in her eyes. “Yes. She visits us often and has become a big part of all of our lives. She is doing fabulous and even has a boyfriend she cares very deeply for.”
Not being able to hold back any longer, I cover my face and sob into my hands. Feeling sad for what the young girl went through but also relief at hearing that she’s doing so well. I immediately feel warm, comforting arms around me, and gentle reassurances. I quickly gather my composure, not wanting to cause more of a scene than I already have. Looking up, I see all of them crowded around me with tears in their eyes.
“Oh geez, I’m so sorry,” I apologize, wiping my wet cheeks. “I’m just so happy to hear she’s doing so well. I have often wondered about her.”
“Don’t be sorry, Faith. It’s completely understandable,” Grace says softly. “I just want to add on quickly to what Julia said. Sawyer hasn’t told me much either, but one thing he did tell me was if he had to make the decision all over again and do what he did to help y’all, he said he would do it all over again in a heartbeat. Nobody blames you, so please don’t blame yourself.”
I wish I could tell her I won’t but it’s hard and something I’m trying to work on. As for nobody blaming me… well I’m not so sure about that. No one can speak for Cade. Although, I’m still not sure if that’s the reason why he stayed away from me, or if he can’t deal with what happened to me. I’m even more confused as to what he’s thinking and feeling after our run this morning. There were times today when I could have sworn he looked at me with so much heat in his eyes that it robbed me of breath. And the way he seemed jealous over Blake… Or maybe that’s just what I wanted to see.
“Hey, girls. Sorry I’m late,” Kayla says, rushing into the bakery, pulling me from my thoughts. “I had to…” She comes to a sudden stop when she sees all of us hugging each other with tears in our eyes. “Uh… should I come back?”
I smile and shake my head. “No, no. Come sit down. Sorry, we were just having a heart to heart and the girls were comforting me.”
She takes a seat between Grace and Julia. “Well that’s because Julia and our little Grace here,” she says with a cooing voice, squeezing Grace’s cheeks together, “just love getting all sentimental.”
Grace laughs and slaps her hand away, then leans over and kisses Kayla on the cheek. “Especially with you.” Kayla rolls her eyes but you can tell she’s touched. These girls are seriously great, and I’m glad Katelyn has had such great friends since moving here.
“Anyways, as I was saying when I walked in, sorry I’m late, I had to drop something off for Coop at the station. And the guy, as usual, had to be looking all sexy, so then I had to attack his ass before I left.” We all laugh at Kayla’s satisfied grin, and I have to admit, Cooper is definitely very good looking. All the guys are.
