Page 46 of Resisting Temptation (Men of Honor 3)
“And thank God it is,” I choke out, interrupting him, unable to stand hearing him talk about himself like he’s some monster. “Because if you didn’t we might not have gotten out of there.”
“You don’t get it. I don’t regret gutting them. I’d do it again in a heartbeat. But when that shit explodes inside of me I have no control. I almost killed you and you know it.”
I shake my head, “No. I don’t believe that. You would have stopped. You did stop.”
“That time, luckily, I did, but what about the next time?”
“You will always stop,” I say with absolute certainty.
“Are you so sure about that? Are you willing to bet your fucking life on it? Because I’m not.”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” He shakes his head and is about to argue, but I don’t let him. “Yes. Listen to me. We all have darkness inside of us, Cade. Everyone does, it’s a fact of life, but that’s not what’s scary. What’s scary is when you have more darkness than you do good, and when you let it control you. That’s not you.”
“You don’t know me, Red.”
“Yes, I do,” I argue back. “I may not have gotten to know you long and I may not know everything about you, but if there is one thing I know without a doubt it’s that you are a good man. One of the best I have ever known and definitely the strongest.”
He grinds his teeth and I watch his breathing turn heavy again. “He took you to get back at me. They did that shit to you to torture me, and it did. Far more than any physical blow that marks my body. I fucking hate that I didn’t make it to you in time.”
Hearing his voice thick with guilt has my heart clenching painfully. Leaning in closer, I encircle his wrist with my hands and rest my forehead against his, our mouths only a breath away from one another. “You did make it in time. You saved my life. I would be dead right now if it wasn’t for you. For all of you.”
The intensity of his gaze has my mouth going dry. “I would do it all over again if I had to. I would take every fucking blow they delivered, if it meant getting you out. All of us would.”
My heart swells at his sincere words and tears rush down my face, hot and fast.
“Did you mean what you said down there?”
“About what?” he asks, softly.
“That you’re broken.”
His expression softens, “What do you think?”
“I think you believe that, but I think you’re wrong. You may be damaged, Cade, but not broken.”
He expels a regretful breath. “No, Red. Damaged means it can be fixed and put back together again, broken – it can’t, and that’s me, baby.”
Agony falls past my lips at his reply. I’m not sure which one of us moved first, but suddenly our lips are devouring each other’s in the most hungry and desperate way. His familiar taste, one my soul has ached for, explodes on my tongue and mixes with my tears and our pain.
His hungry growl, and my cry of longing, twine together as we get swept up in a storm of lust and passion. My fingers spear into his soft hair, knocking his beanie from his head, and I hold him captive to me, giving him no chance at escape. Not that he’s pulling away. Oh no. His mouth is hot and demanding, ravishing mine with an intensity that steals my breath.
“I’ve missed you so much,” I tell him truthfully, whimpering into his mouth.
Groaning, he pulls back just enough to trail his warm, greedy lips down my throat, nipping at the delicate skin. “Me too, baby. I fucking thought about you every second of every day.”
Hearing those words from his mouth does so much for my damaged soul. Tilting my head to the side, I give him complete access, and he takes more greedily, his hard body coming over mine while he still kneels between my legs. The thin straps of my white sundress slip down my arms as his lips continue down their path, trailing across the swell of my breasts. “Fuck me, you taste even better than I remember.”
I whimper when his hot, wet mouth finds my puckered nipple through the thin fabric of my sundress. My hips start rocking against his hard stomach, seeking relief from an ache I thought I would never feel again.
Groaning, he slips his hands under my dress and runs them up my bare thighs. Fire soars through my body, my need for release feeling almost painful and suffocating. But as soon as his fingers touch the center of my wet panties, I freeze. Panic strikes my chest, as memories of the last time I was touched there try pushing its way through the dark recess of my mind. No, not now, please not now.
Noticing my reaction instantly, Cade tenses and swiftly removes his hand. When he looks up at me, the lust that was just in his expression has completely vanished and is replaced with rage.
I squeeze my eyes shut as shame and humiliation wash over me. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper guiltily.
Before he can say anything, the door flies open and a large man comes in with an ice pack on his eye. I jump back from Cade before he thinks we were doing something inappropriate. Even though we just were. No, not inappropriate. It was beautiful and perfect until I had to mess it up. God, I have to get out of here.
“Oh, shit. Sorry, Walker. I need the first aid kit,” the guy apologizes, looking away. “I’ll come back.”
“No!” I protest and stand up quickly. “It’s all right, I was just leaving.” Heading to the door, I pause and turn back to Cade, but don’t look him in the eye, I can’t. “I’m so sorry. I’ll see you later.”
The backs of my eyes start to cloud with humiliation as I rush out of the gym as fast as I can. Just as I make it out the doors, Sawyer runs out behind me and calls my name. I stop and turn to see sympathy shining in his eyes. “Can I give you a ride home?” Since my throat is too clogged with emotion to speak, I shake my head and offer him a small smile before I take off.
