Page 24 of Meet the Teacher

We both laugh. Mom never cusses. She clears her throat. “Well, I’m sorry he did that to you. He wasn’t for you, and I had a gut feeling about that from the beginning.”

“I know. Everyone did but me, I guess. He seemed so perfect at the time though. When we first started, it felt so much like what you and Dad have,” I say as my shoulders shrug. “I don’t think I’m meant to have a relationship like yours though.”

She grabs my chin. “Oh honey, you will find love again. I just know it. And it’s easy to say it’s great from the outside looking in, but your father and I put in a lot of hard work to have what we have. I have no doubt that you’ll find someone who’s worth the work.” She releases my chin and gives me a wink.

A tear falls down my cheek and I nod. Mom leans in closer and wraps her arms around me.

“Thanks, Mom. I hope so.”

“Well, even with him being a big old jerk and you winding up back in Lake View, I’m so happy you’re home.” She gives me a final big squeeze before releasing me. “What do you say we hit up some stores today and do a little shopping—just you and me?”

“Love you, mom,” I say and smile. “Alright, let’s do it.”

She heads toward the door and looks back. “I’m going to start getting ready then. Eat your breakfast, and we’ll aim to leave in about an hour. How’s that sound?”

I nod my head while taking a large bite into the cinnamon roll.

* * *

An hour later,I meet Mom in the kitchen. I load my plate and mug into the dishwasher.

“So, where would you like to go to today?” mom asks me.

“Hmmm . . . well, I know you probably weren’t expecting this, but I’m thinking the pet store,” I say, flashing a big smile across my face. I debate telling her about completing the WOLO list now, but I still want to keep it to myself.

Her eyebrow raises. “Oh, really?”

“Yeah, that way I won’t be totally alone like you and Dad got me all freaked out about,” I say.

I watch as my mom clasps her hands together in excitement. “Oh yay! Let’s go pick out a dog from the pet store today, then.”

“Well, I’m not set on a dog, but I’d love for you to help me pick out a new furry friend.”

“Alright, sounds like a plan to me,” she says.

“Perfect. Let’s go then. I’ll drive,” I say, picking the keys up off the counter and tossing them into my crossbody bag.

We get in the car and head to the local pet store. Mom doesn’t say too much to me on the way, but I can tell she’s been holding back tears. She mentions missing Summer. When I tell her I do too, I feel that familiar stinging in my eyes.

When we finally pull into a parking spot at the pet store, my mom doesn’t move to open the door once I’ve turned the engine off. I sense a shift in her entire mood.

“Hey sweetie, I want you to be honest with me. You and Summer were thick as thieves. Losing her has been hard for all of us, but you seem to be actively trying to avoid your feelings when I mention her.”

I let out a small sigh and look into my mother’s eyes. They look just like Summer’s—a gorgeous, crystal blue. It’s silly to admit, but while I did get my green eyes from Dad, I was always a little jealous that Summer got Mom’s eyes. I grew up wanting to be exactly like Summer. And now, in what feels like a blink of an eye, she’s gone. Who will I look up to now?

“I’m okay.” I have to be the strong one for her and Dad. I’ve always been the responsible, have-your-shit-together one of us. Summer was basically a wildflower, and I—well, I was a low-maintenance homebody orchid. Granted, I need more than a couple of ice cubes a week to stay alive, but for the most part, I’ve preferred to play it safe in life.

“I know you will be, but that doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to be so strong right now. It’s okay to feel the way you do. You don’t need to pressure yourself with making sure others’ emotions are in good hands if it means you’re sacrificing your own.”

More tears begin to well up in my eyes. How is it possible to cry this much? I’d spent the last few months hopping on planes back and forth from Connecticut to here when we found out Summer’s breast cancer had returned and reached stage four. We’ve cried so much together knowing the inevitable was coming. But I missed her final day, which I think is what has broken me the most. I should’ve been here. I should’ve moved here and not let Liam stop me. I never trust myself when I should be trusting my own intuition more than anyone else. And now, I’d do anything just to go back to a simpler time with Summer.

My mom reaches across my legs into the glovebox. She pulls out a small pack of tissues. She never misses a beat when it comes to knowing what people need at the exact moment they need it. As soon as I’m done wiping tears and supposed-waterproof mascara off my face, she leans in with a bear hug. Squeezing me tight enough that my arms close into my chest, I’m secretly wishing she’ll never let go.

She turns back to me and whispers, “Autumn, it’ll be okay. I promise.”

I want to trust my mom and believe it really is okay. That everything will be fine. People always say, ‘this too shall pass.’But what if it doesn’t? What if that’s simply not true? Summer was my person. More than Liam ever was, even though I convinced myself that he was.

“Thanks, Mom. I do think I’ve been so overwhelmed by everything that it’s making me feel numb. Being in the hospital the first week I got here didn’t help,” I tell her and manage to smile again.

---