Page 17 of The Final Temptation (Men of Honor 3.5)
I grind my teeth and try to keep my temper in check. “Yeah, well you promised me things too, and you lied.”
“I never fucking lied to you!”
“Yes, you did! You said you had nothing to do with her since you broke up. Oh, but I guess going to her house for supper and her lake house with her doesn’t count, huh?”
His jaw flexes. “She’s full of shit! I was at her house for supper because of the fucking vandalism on her car and her parents asked me to stay. Any time before that was business, since her dad is on the fucking town council. And I wasn’t there alone, I was there with Sheriff Lancaster. It was her parents who invited me to their fucking lake house at supper last night and I declined! This is all fucking shit you would have known if you stuck around to hear me out!”
“What do you expect, Cooper? Not even two nights ago you had your fucking fingers inside of me, and then I was subjected to watching her put her hands all over you, without you even attempting to stop it.”
“You think that shit wasn’t uncomfortable for me, too?”
“Oh yeah, you looked really uncomfortable.”
“What the fuck was I supposed to do? I didn’t want to ruin supper for your parents. If I had known they were going to be there then I wouldn’t have come!”
“You should have pushed her away, regardless. Try being in my position. Do you really think I was going to stay a second longer to witness any more of that shit?”
“If you would have stuck around then you would have heard me lay into her, right in front of everyone for what she did. And you would have also seen your dad go to bat for you, too. But no, you had to be fucking impulsive again, like always, and let your emotions get the better of you.”
My anger deflates fast and I sit in stunned silence as we pull up into my driveway. I’m shocked to know that not only did Cooper stand up for me in front of everyone, but so did my dad. Guilt plagues me and I’m just about to thank him, but he doesn’t give me the chance.
“Do you have any idea the positions you put me in because you can’t ever think shit through? I lied about not knowing who did that shit to her car, which is the first time I have ever done that, and I fucking hate it. Now I almost just beat the shit out of a kid because you took off on a tantrum, and got yourself into trouble that I warned you from to begin with. I mean jesus, it’s like fucking poison wherever you go!”
The last of his words strike me like a painful blow. It’s so intense I swear my heart just stopped beating and I have a hard time pulling in a breath. Mark’s remark earlier about not being good enough for him rings loudly in my ears, and I’m not sure what hurts more—that he was right, or that Cooper really does think this.
I do everything in my power to hold my tears back, and swallow past the excruciating burn in my throat. “You’re right,” I whisper, staring straight ahead. “I am impulsive, especially when I’m hurt. I have a temper that spikes from zero to ten in one second and sometimes that makes it really hard to think things through. But what you’re most right about is I am not good for you. Or maybe I should say not good enough for you.” I laugh bitterly. “Who the fuck knew that Mark would be right about something tonight after all.”
I open the car door and hear him expel a heavy breath. “Kayla.”
“I will fix the mess I made, and I promise to stay the hell away from you and not subject you to my poison ever again.”
I slam the door and rush into my house, refraining from looking back, the heartache that’s crawling up my throat is threatening to choke me. I enter the kitchen on the way to my room and see my parents waiting for me at the table.
I stop to face them but have a hard time looking at them, especially my dad. My mom gasps when she sees my face, but I’m not sure if it’s because of my bruised cheek or if the pain I’m feeling is apparent.
“Honey, what happened to you? Where did you go?” she asks.
I open my mouth to try and explain but then snap it shut as I feel my heartbreak erupting to the surface. I swallow and try again, but look at my dad this time. “I’m sorry, dad. I’m so sorry.” He moves to stand, but I shake my head at him. “No, please. I-I can’t talk right now. I will explain everything later, I promise, but I just can’t right now.”
I rush up to my room as a strangled noise leaves my throat, but manage to hold the dam off until I fall into bed. I hug my pillow close and try to muffle my sobs. I let everything pour out of me. My humiliation and guilt for what happened at supper, my anger at Mark, but mostly I cry my heart out over Cooper. For the fact that I wasted three years loving someone who never thought I was good enough anyway.
“I mean jesus, it’s like fucking poison wherever you go!”
I meant what I said—I will fix the mess I made, then I will make sure to never taint him again.
CHAPTER 5
A couple nights later I’m sitting out on the back patio in my sweats with a blanket draped around me, the warm night and clear starlit sky doing nothing for my heavy heart. I hear the back door open, then a second later my mom takes the chair next to me and hands me a cup of tea. I smile at her as I take the steaming mug then curl my feet under me and look ahead into the distance again. I feel her watch me and know we are about to have the talk that I have been stalling to have.
