Page 44 of Dearest Protector

But the man who could make me crazy with lust and need had never materialized while I was dancing.

He tilted my chin until I was forced to meet his gaze before he said, “I would have been fighting to bethat guy. Nothing that happened between us was wrong, Ariel. Fuck knows I’m attracted to you, but I shouldn’t have taken advantage of that moment. Not right now. You’re still vulnerable from everything you’ve been through, and you still need to get through this upcoming surgery. Your artistic career is just starting to take off. It’s just…fucked up timing on my part.”

Relief flooded through my body as I realized he was telling me the truth.

Hewasattracted to me.

And that kiss had been more than just a momentary amusement for him, too.

I searched his face, but there was nothing except genuine emotion, albeit somewhat conflicted, in those beautiful hazel eyes of his.

“I don’t care if the timing wasn’t right,” I said in a barely audible voice. “I could never regret what happened. That kiss was one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I never knew it could be…like that. You’re right. Maybe it was bad timing because I’m not the woman I want to be yet, but I could never wish it had never happened, Ben.”

If nothing else, Benwasmy friend, and I couldn’t tell him anything but the truth.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “Fuck! I don’t really regret it, either, even though I probably should.”

Emboldened by his words, I also admitted, “I would have had sex with you and never regrettedthat, either.”

He sent me warning glance as he said gruffly, “You should never tell a guy that.”

I shrugged. “You’re not just some guy. I care about you, and I’ve always told you the truth. You’re also my friend, and I don’t ever want to lose that.”

Ben released what sounded like an irritated breath as his arm tightened around my waist. “I don’t want to lose that, either, Ariel. But never doubt that I want a whole lot more than that. It’s just not the right damn time for this.”

He was right.

I knew that.

I wasn’t completely healed emotionally from all the sudden changes in my life.

Ben deserved a woman who had her life and her head together, which I didn’t. I might be getting closer to that healing every single day, but I wasn’t…whole.

“On the other hand,” he added roughly. “I doubt very much that I could tolerate seeing you date anyone else, either. If some other man ever touched you, I’d completely lose it.”

My heart somersaulted inside my chest.

Likethatwas even likely to happen?

Ben Blackwood had turned my whole life and my emotions upside down. Never in my wildest dreams could I have even imagined he’d be interested in…me.

I put my palm to his cheek and savored that rough stubble beneath my fingers. “That’s not going to happen,” I assured him honestly. “I haven’t thought about any other man except you. Not since the moment we met. Why do you think I’m still a virgin. You make me feel things I’ve never felt before.”

His expression turned hopeful as he replied, “Damn good thing you haven’t looked at another guy. I guarantee I wouldn’t have handled that very well. This attraction isn’t exactly new for me.”

Okay, that surprised me. He’d never given me a single clue that he was physically attracted to me.

I smiled at him because I couldn’t help myself. “Not new for me, either.”

Maybe I still had a long road ahead of me, but knowing Ben might be there when I was done traveling that road made my heart soar.

“So friends for now?” I asked breathlessly. “Until I can get my life together again?”

He shook his head slowly. “This isn’t about your state of mind right now or your circumstances. You’ve always been a beautiful, amazing woman. There’s nothing wrong with you, but I do think you need your time to heal. And we’re definitely friends. For now. Just promise me that I’ll get my chance first before you decide you’re ready for a relationship.”

Really?Did he honestly think I could just turn this connection between us off and on that easily? Maybe some women could, but not me. “I promise.”

I sighed. I knew I didn’t have the mindset to be a good partner to him at the moment. I had a surgery to get through, a business to focus on, and issues to conquer in counseling, but once I felt like I could be the equal partner Ben needed, I’d be there for him in a heartbeat asking for more.

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