Page 58 of Dearest Protector

“She’s nervous,” Katie piped in. “Not that I blame her. She’s been through this way too many times. But I agree with Ian. She’s going to be okay, Ben. Once it’s over, she’ll be even better. It will help a lot that she’ll get to go home later tonight as long as she’s feeling okay.”

I swallowed hard and nodded.

I needed to remember that just hours from now, Ariel and I would be able to head back home.

She’d be relieved that it was over, and I’d be able to breathe again.

Unfortunately, right at this moment, that hopeful departure seemed like it was a long way away.

Jesus!I was losing my shit.

I was usually calm under pressure.

I’d been my mother’s rock after my father had died and while Ian laid near death in a hospital.

I’d been devastated about my dad, but I’d never let my family see that I was destroyed because they’d needed me.

Now, all that emotional control had been blown to hell because I couldn’t control what was happening to Ariel.

“Did you get a chance to tell her the truth?” Ian asked in a low voice as my mother and Katie chatted.

I shook my head as I answered quietly enough so Katie and my mother couldn’t hear me, “Now isn’t the time. She needs to get through this surgery first.”

“Yeah, I get that,” Ian mumbled. “But I think it needs to happen soon. I think that shit is eating you alive, and the longer you wait, the harder it will be.”

Like I didn’t already know that?

Ian slapped me on the back and rose from his seat. “Katie and I are going to the cafeteria for coffee,” he told me. “Can we bring you anything?”

Hell, I could use a very large glass of whiskey right now, no water and no ice, filled to the brim.

“Water,” I said instead, knowing the last thing I needed was more coffee at the moment.

Ariel was always on my ass about hydrating. Maybe slugging down some water would make me feel better.

Mom asked for coffee and moved into Ian’s seat once my brother and Katie had left for the cafeteria. “Are you okay, Ben?” she asked in a concerned voice as she put a gentle hand on my arm.

There wasn’t another soul in the waiting room, but I still kept my voice low. “You don’t have to tell me that I’m overreacting. I already know that, Mom. But Ariel has already been through so much. She was terrified. She put on a brave face, but I could tell.”

She smiled as she put her hand on my back and rubbed it like she’d done to comfort me as a child. “I’d never criticize you for caring about her well-being, Ben. I just wanted to know ifyouwere alright. And you’re right, she did look worried, but I think the drugs helped.”

Ariel had been honest with the doctor about her anxiety, and they’d given her something to relax before they’d taken her into surgery.

“I hate seeing her like that,” I admitted as I tried to chill out.

“I’m sure you do,” my mother replied. “Should we stop all this nonsense about the two of you being close friends. I can see right through you, Benjamin. I’m your mother. You’re crazy about, Ariel, and you’re notjusther friend.”

I cringed. I hated the fact that I’d been a grown man for years, and I still couldn’t hide anything from my mother.

Yeah, I’d given her that story about Ariel and I being friends when we were on the phone, but even then, I wasn’t sure she’d bought the bullshit.

Shealwaysknew the truth, even when I didn’t want her to know. She’d always had scary intuition like that when it came to her sons.

“I’ve never seen her as just a friend,” I told her honestly. “But she’s not ready for anything more right now. She has way too much on her plate.”

I wasn’t about to tell hereverything, even if she could read me like a book.

There were some things a guy just didn’t confess to his mother.

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