Page 123 of Dearest Protector

Ben rolled me onto my back and hovered over me, his eyes burning with intensity as he growled, “Do you have any idea how much I love you?”

“I do,” I said calmly as I wound my arms around his neck again. “Just as much as I love you. And I don’t want you to hurt anymore, even occasionally. You should know that feeling since you feel the same way about me.”

“Fuck! I do,” he said in a raspy voice. “I promise we’ll talk if I ever feel guilty again.”

I smiled up at him, anxious to wipe that semi frown off his gorgeous face. “Then this discussion is over. I’d much rather concentrate on you at the moment now that we’re in our own little paradise for a week.”

“What exactly do you have planned?” he asked in a more sensual tone. “And didn’t you have something else you wanted to tell me?”

I put the past in the past where it belonged as I gazed at him lovingly.

Maybe we’d have a few bumps along the way, and maybe Ben would have an occasional stumble to chuck away his guilt entirely, but we’d figure it out together if and when it happened.

We always did.

“I think I’d really like to try to have a child now,” I blurted out without any preamble. “I’d really like to go off the pill and try if you’re willing.”

The look on Ben’s face was stunning.

There was some apprehension, but the hope and happiness in his expression far outweighed the negative.

“Are you sure?” he asked.

I nodded. “I know we’ve talked about it recently, but I’m ready. I want to have a child.Our child. I know nothing is guaranteed, and if it doesn’t happen, I guess it wasn’t meant to be. But I’d like to try. My career is flourishing, and I’ll be able to work my own hours now. I can easily manipulate my hours in the future. I don’t have to take commissioned pieces anymore. I don’t need the name recognition. I can sell as many images as I want, whenever I want.”

He grinned. “The less pieces you produce, the more expensive they’ll become.”

I rolled my eyes. “We certainly don’t need the money. I’ll never out earn the ridiculous billions that you make from Blackwood, but I make a stupid amount of money for every piece I sell now. And I kind of like being particular about what I create. I’m at the point where I can just focus on the things that really matter in my career and in my life.”

“And a baby is a priority?” he questioned.

I shook my head. “Youare always going to be my priority, but a baby would be amazing, too. I’m ready to take that leap if you are. There’s no guarantees that it will happen, but it’s something I want if it does.”

Ben nodded slowly. “I want that, too. I think you already know that. But Christ! I really don’t want to get as flipped out as Ian is right now.”

A laugh escaped my lips as I thought about how badly Ben’s brother had reacted to the news that Katie was pregnant a few weeks ago.

Ben frowned as he added, “Ian is already worrying about the whole birthing thing, and Katie is barely eight weeks pregnant. You probably already know that I’ll probably be the same way if you get pregnant, right? Don’t get me wrong. I’d be ecstatic, but I don’t like anything that causes you any pain, and you hate the hospital.”

I smiled at him brightly, my heart aching. It wasn’t unlike Ben to worry about me, but it always touched my heart. “I think I can handle childbirth in a hospital. We’d be there for something happy. The thought of having a baby there doesn’t make me panic.”

Ben scowled. “Are you bullshitting me?”

I smiled wider. “Nope. No panic at all.”

Relief spread over his handsome features as he grumbled, “Maybe you won’t panic, but I might. Christ! I want this, but it’s going to be hell every day for me until you deliver. I don’t like anything that causes you any discomfort or puts you at risk.”

He probably would panic, and then he’d calm down andtryto be rational for my sake.

Because that was who Ben was.

He cared too much, and loved too deeply. At times, those traits didn’t mix with a rational mind.

But he wouldn’t be the husband I loved so damn much if he didn’t have those characteristics that I completely adored.

I lifted a brow. “Aren’t we jumping the gun a little, handsome? You haven’t even tried to knock me up yet, and even when you do, it could take a while.”

He lowered his head and gave me a toe-curling kiss before he answered huskily, “Maybe not, but we’ve practiced plenty of times, sweetheart.”

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