Page 94 of Dearest Protector

I’d been completely honest when I’d told her that I wanted her to chose me.

Hell, I knew what I wanted. I’d probably known since the first time I saw her.

Maybe it would kill me, but I was willing to suck it up if I got what I wanted in the end.

We were committed to moving forward with our relationship at a more cautious pace. For now, I was happy with that, considering the possible alternative.

“Is the dating thing with or without sex?” Ian asked before he took a slug of his beer.

It wasn’t like I discussed my sex life with Ian, but he obviously knew that Ariel drove me completely insane.

“Without. For now,” I confessed. “It was my idea. She’s going through a lot of changes, Ian. She’s got her confidence back, and she’s becoming her own person. Her business is flourishing. She doesn’t need a lot of other bullshit to get in her way right now.”

If I took Ariel to bed right now, I’d lose it completely.

I’d do whatever it took to make her mine for the rest of our lives, and she didn’t need to be pressured to make that decision.

“You’re going to hate yourself for that suggestion,” Ian warned me.

“I already do,” I scoffed. “But I’m playing the long game because I want Ariel for the rest of my life, Ian. There’s no one else for me but her. If I screw this up, I lose for the rest of my goddamn life.”

“So you’d rather have blue balls for a short time instead of forever?” he asked with humor in his tone.

“Basically, yes,” I said shortly.

Ian shot me a sympathetic look. “I can tell you from experience that it’s hell trying to keep your hands off a woman you love.”

“I don’t care,” I shot back. “And I never said that I wouldn’t touch her. I just said no sex.”

I wasn’t even going to try to deny that I loved Ariel. Ian had been in my shoes. He knew the truth.

Ian chuckled. “Christ! That makes it even worse.”

I glared at him. “Go ahead and laugh, asshole. I’m not the one waiting to marry a woman I love until she finishes her master’s degree.”

He grinned. “At least she has my ring on her finger now. It’s not quite as painful. You realize we’re both pathetic, right? We like to think we’re in charge, but in reality, those two women have us wrapped around their little fingers, and neither one of us really gives a shit.”

I grinned back at him because I knew it was true. “It’s not easy to hand a woman your heart and your balls and let her do with them what she will.”

“It’s not so bad,” Ian mused. “As long as you know she doesn’t plan on stomping on either one of them, it’s tolerable. I trust Kate completely because she’s basically done the same for me. She trusts me not to ever hurt her again. You might just try telling Ariel that you love her.”

Hell, it wasn’t that I didn’twantto say it. I just didn’t want to tell her something she wasn’t ready to hear yet. “I trust her, but she hasn’t said those words, either. I’m not sure she’s ready for that.”

“Just remember that one of you has to be the one who says it first,” Ian informed me.

I swallowed a mouthful of beer before I answered, “I just convinced her to date me. I need to give it a little time. She deserves to find out what it’s like to live in the moment for a while before I ask for her entire life. She has some kind of eco tour near the Everglades tomorrow so she can take some photos. After that, I’d like to take her to wherever she wants to go. I just want to spend time with her right now, Ian. I honestly thought I’d lost her.”

Ian lifted a brow. “Sounds like you could use some time off without thinking about work.”

“It would definitely help,” I admitted.

“Are you sure you can handle being away from Blackwood long enough to woo your woman?” Ian joked.

“Do you think that’s possible?” I asked. “I’d really like to focus on Ariel and our relationship for a while.”

Ian shot me an exasperated glance. “Ben, you’ve been working nonstop for years and you practically lived at the Blackwood headquarters. You’ve told me yourself that Blackwood is perfectly capable of continuing on without us now for an extended amount of time if necessary. But it won’t have to.I’llbe there. I still work in the lab in the morning, but I’m in the executive offices all afternoon. I can handle the meetings next week. You don’t even need to check in. It’s not like you’re not needed at Blackwood to help me make the important decisions, but you really need to take time out to handle your personal life. I know you sacrificed almost everything to be at Blackwood. It’s time, little brother. Take a fucking vacation. Blackwood Technologies is still going to be there when you get back. You managed to handle everything for years at the office without me. I think I can deal with it for a few weeks.

I inclined my head. “Thanks.”

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