“Come in, Adrienne.”
The door slowly opened and a girl, maybe my age, maybe a couple of years older, moved inside. She had a notebook, a pen, and a bag in her hands. When she saw me, she offered me a sympathetic smile. I tried to return it, but I couldn’t.
“Adrienne, this is…what was your name?”
“Freya,” I said. “Freya Foster.”
“She’s the new human the Headmaster informed the captains and the lieutenants about,” he said. “I want you to assist in helping her find temporary accommodations while I handle the scene.”
“Of course.” She nodded once and set down the tools she brought on the desk.
Unlike the captain, she wasn’t wearing any robes. In fact, she had on black and white striped pajama bottoms and a long-sleeve white shirt. Her brown hair was pulled from her face with a thin headband. From up close, I could make out a small dusting of freckles sweeping across her cheeks and over the bridge of her nose. When she saw me, she gave me a warm smile before she focused her attention back on Captain Rainey.
“Anything else?” she asked.
“I’m going to need you to report back to me when you’re finished,” he informed her. “I want to do a sweep of the body, see if there’s anything you can pick up.”
She nodded once before moving over to me.
“I can set you up in the Water dormitory for the moment,” she said. “Why don’t I help you get anything you might need while you’re over there?”
I didn’t ask her how long that might be. I didn’t care. I let her lead me over to my wardrobe. She pulled out a small bag from somewhere – I wondered if she brought it with her – and began to grab the assortment of clothes that made up my uniforms.
I almost stopped her. Lucy organized this, and to go through it, to take it all down, was akin to blasphemy, at least to me. I didn’t want anyone touching it. I didn’t want anyone ruining it. But I couldn’t find my voice and this Adrienne person seemed genuinely concerned and wanted to help. I kept my mouth closed and watched as she managed to fit the majority of the clothes into the bag.
“Do you have any toiletries you want to take with you?” she asked when she finished.
There was a small basket filled with things tucked behind the clothes in the wardrobe. I grabbed that and held it in my arms. Adrienne moved to take it from me, but I took a step back.
“I got it,” I told her, hoping my voice didn’t come out too insistent. She was just trying to help, but carrying this at least made me feel like I was doing more than just standing around, doing nothing.
“I’ll be back, Captain,” she told Rainey. He didn’t even turn to her, still focused on the body.
We exited the room, and it felt like I could breathe again. The tears came full-force. Being in that room was hard, suffocating, but being outside of it just made reality sink in. Lucy was gone.
Not just gone, but murdered.
My stomach twisted. I began to suck in deep breaths, but I couldn’t seem to get a handle on myself. I wasn’t sure how to even put one foot in front of the other. I felt…useless. No wonder Byron didn’t want me here. No wonder he thought I was a pathetic piece of garbage who couldn’t do anything right. Lucy was lying in a pile of her own blood, staring lifeless at the ceiling, while I was having a panic attack.
What did my mom train me for if I couldn’t even get a handle on myself when dire situations presented themselves? She spent her life training me, pushing me, trying to make me as great as I could be, and I couldn’t even run a damn mile in the appropriate amount of time.
I was pathetic.
“You okay?” Adrienne asked, stepping from the room.
I nodded, but something on my face must have told her otherwise because she took the box from my hands and set it on the floor. She placed both hands gently on my arms and forced me to look at her.
“Take a breath,” she said in a low voice. It was only then that I realized she had an English accent. It was beautiful. I decided to focus on that, on the sound of her voice, rather than anything else. “In through your nose, out through your mouth. What you’re feeling is completely normal. There you go. In through your nose, out through your mouth.”
Part of me didn’t want to listen to her. I wanted to spiral out of control. It was the only way to make sense of what was going on.
Instead, I listened. I breathed. And I relaxed. Tension still cooled in my body, but my thoughts cleared up like the sky after a particularly vile storm.
“There.” She gave me a small smile. “Come on. I’ll show you your room. You can stay with me for the time being.”
“There’s nothing with a single bed?” I asked.
She glanced down at me, a small smile still on her face. It was only then that the question I asked was probably offensive.