Page 31 of Forget Me Not

“Doomsday bet me fifty bucks that you two would end up either fucking or falling in love. I of course told her no way since you tend to avoid all men like the plague. But then I hear not from you but from Doomsday yet again that you were out on a date with him.” He fake gasps as if it’s the scandal of the century. “Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you, Tink. You deserve a hot man to sweep you off your feet. But I need to know if I’m about to be out fifty bucks.”

“Again, I honestly don’t know, Theo.” I sigh, exhausted from a long shift and the constant worrying over this exact topic.

It’s been a little under two weeks since our date, and Kade has texted me every day. Not anything life altering, just random conversation. He tells me good morning, asks me how I slept, and asks me about work while I do the same.

He’s asked when he can see me again, and I haven’t given him a definite answer. A part of me has just been overwhelmed by work and hasn’t had the time. The other part is terrified to pick up where we left off. Do we even pick up where we left off? Do we pretend it never happened? Was it the heat of the moment or was it the real thing?

This is the exact reason I avoid men. I go on one fake/real date and here I am, with one invading my every thought and making me question my entire existence. I desperately want to see him again and explore what comes next, just as much as I want to hide from it all.

“How do you not know? Are you planning on letting him rail you until you forget that you haven’t been fucked in over a year?”

“Theo!” I scold him, which he ignores and keeps going.

“Or are you planning on marrying the dude? It’s not that hard, Tink. Make up your mind.”

“It is that hard. I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know what he wants. I’m fucking confused, and terrified, and reeling from sexual frustration. So, all I have to give you right now is I don’t fucking know.” I’m out of breath by the time I finish. The outburst is out of character for me but also completely necessary for my sanity. The frustration that has been building up and seeping out into every aspect of my life, releasing with only a few sentences.

“Shit.” Theo leans onto the counter and drops his head into his hands. Peeking through his fingers, he looks up at me. “I’mdefinitely going to lose my fifty dollars and you’re totally going to marry him and have his babies.” He groans.

“Who the hell are you marrying?” Ryan cuts into our conversation before I have a chance to respond to Theo. He looks genuinely shocked and also a little bit annoyed. I see Theo’s eyes light up and already know what’s coming.

“Her new boyfriend,” Theo says dreamily. “I didn’t know Tink had it in her, but she went and bagged herself a six-foot-something, dripping-with-sex, gorgeous-ass man.” Normally I’d correct Theo and refrain from letting him brag about Kade, especially when I don’t even know where we stand. But this might be exactly what I need to finally get Ryan off my back. Plus, Kade is using me to get Kayla away from him anyway, so he can’t get mad at me for it.

“I thought you were too busy and focused on work? That you weren’t interested in dating?” Ryan asks me, his voice accusatory. As if no matter how many times I’ve turned him down, I’m now the one in the wrong for being with someone other than him.

“I am busy and focused on work,” I say, doing little to hide my aggravation. “Kade and I just kind of happened.”

“I’m sure you’ll meet him at the gala on Saturday,” Theo says, and I jerk my head toward him in panic. He just smiles.

Every year the hospital throws a fundraising event that, if you’re not on call, your attendance is pretty much mandatory. They technically can’t force you to go, but it’s heavily looked down upon if you don’t. The idea is for the investors and the rich people to talk to all of the doctors and residents in attendance in the hopes that we can convince them to open their hearts and their wallets. All of the money goes toward helping the hospital be the best it can be, which in turn helps the patients, so overall it’s for a good cause. It’s still a pain though.

Not only do I have a nine-hour shift during the day Saturday, but then only an hour to get ready before I have to be there, which means I have to get ready at the hospital. The event is at the hotel just across the street from the hospital itself so at least I don’t have to go far.

I had always planned on going and suffering through the gala, but I was most definitely not planning on asking Kade to go with me. To be his fake girlfriend is one thing, but to have him be my fake boyfriend is entirely another. Plus, the fake part is still to be determined at this point.

“I guess I will.” Ryan grinds his teeth like he’s trying to stop the vile comments that I’m sure he’s dying to say from leaving his mouth. He doesn’t say anything else as he walks away. I wait until he’s out of earshot before grabbing Theo’s arm and dragging him into a supply room. I look around to make sure it’s empty. Horizon hospital is a fairly large hospital with a good number of staff members, yet gossip spreads around here like we’re a small town. If you let the wrong person hear you, suddenly everyone knows your business.

“I can’t invite him to the gala.” I immediately turn to Theo after seeing nobody else is in the room. My voice sounds shrill, panicked, unlike me.

“Why not?” he asks. “You just text him and say I have to go to a hospital fundraising gala, want to be my date?” He says it like it’s the simplest thing in the world. “If he says no, offer him head. I can give you some tips if you want.”

I shove at him as he bursts into laughter.

“It’s not that simple. I don’t know where we stand, and I don’t know that I’m ready to find out. Also, we were supposed to all go together, no dates.”

“I’ll bring a date then. Oh, and maybe we can convince Gabby to bring that delicious roommate of hers as her date.” He smiles.

“You’ve met him?” I ask, surprised by the fact. Gabby is a private person. I’ve only been to her apartment twice since I’ve met her, and she doesn’t seem to like to combine her hospital life with her personal one. She also hates to burden people, and that’s exactly what her roommate seems to be. A burden.

“Yeah, I showed up at her apartment the other day to take her to breakfast. I asked you too, but you didn’t answer me.” He side-eyes me. “He seems like a total douche, but damn, he’s hot. He was in her kitchen, shirtless, gray sweatpants and all. I was practically drooling when Gabby dragged me out of there.” He pauses as if he’s thinking. “If Gabby won’t take him, maybe I can.”

“I don’t understand why any of us have to take anyone. Why can’t we just go as a group as planned?”

“Because number one, that’s boring and I don’t do boring. Number two, you finally have a hot man, even if you aren’t sure if he’s fully yours yet, that you can use to get Dr. Ho Bag to leave you alone.”

He’s right in that Kade may finally force Ryan to leave me alone. The temptation to ask him for that reason alone is strong. But it also forces me to face reality, my absolute least favorite thing.

“Whatever, I’ll ask him. But if he says no or if he’s busy, then you have to drop it.”

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